Well women, we’ve won the right to vote, we’ve won the right to wear trousers, we’ve even won the right to equal pay for equal work.Well, at least in the U.S. of A. we have. But along with all of these “rights” have we also won the right to ask a man on a date? Have we won the right to ask for a man’s phone number? Have we won the right to pay for a date?
As gender roles become less and less distinct, it creates difficulty in the dating world. On one hand, a society with strictly defined gender roles eliminates confusion and awkwardness. Each person knows exactly what he or she is obligated to do, to say, and to expect. On the other hand, it’s dis-empowering, unfair, confining, demeaning, belittling, etc.
As women have become more educated and independent, we no longer require a husband to support us and this fact has changed the face of courting. If women may earn just as much money as men, why should they not be able to invite a man out and pay for a date? Or why should a woman not be able to ask for a man’s number and make the first call?
People will say that it should be left up to men to make the first move because the male sex are “hunters.” That it is essential to the power structure of the relationship. That it is essential to the power structure of the species, and that if a female makes the first move, the man will, for the duration of the relationship, feel as if he wasn’t in control in the relationship. And there are also a lot of women who enjoy being “old-fashioned” and feel it’s a sign of weakness for a man not to make the first move, or they just simply enjoy the ‘traditional” progression of relationships.
This kind of shite just makes me want to vomit. Particularly when this crap is coming from women. I wonder if these same women feel uncomfortable with the right to vote and the right to own property and the right to decide what happens to their own bodies.
And I get equally nauseated at the “men are hunters/women are gatherers” argument. Yes, humans are animals, but we have evolved. We are sentient beings. We can speak. We can reason (well, most of us). Is that all we are reduced to? Animal instincts? Maybe I’m expecting too much, but am I the only one out there who believes that we should make the effort to overcome our basic animal instincts? I suppose that we could just chuck thousands of years of evolution and revert back to the days of Cro Magnum Man. The males could go out hunting for meat, and the women could stay close to the caves gathering nuts and berries and then at night the alpha males could mate with the females doggy-style.
I do believe that there are a lot of men whose egos are much too fragile to allow them to carry on a relationship with a woman who makes the first move. And those are probably the same men whose egos are much too fragile to allow them to carry on a relationship with a woman who makes more money than them, or who has a career that is much more successful than theirs, or who has opinions about politics. Does this mean that women should not work at all? Or that women should only hold menial jobs so that they will never surpass men in earning or career potential?
Are women so desperate to be in relationships that they are willing to continue to be dis-empowered? No, you can’t call a man. You might scare him away. No, you can’t ask a man out. You might scare him away. No, you can’t pay on a date. You might scare him away. No, you can’t be opinionated. You might scare him away. No, you can’t make more than him. You might scare him away.
If a man’s ego is compromised by the simple fact of a woman asking him out, then I believe that he’s unworthy of her attentions.
I for one do not want a man who is not secure enough with himself to be able to accept a woman asking him out on a date. And I know for a fact there are men out there who feel that women are their equals and it makes no difference to them who makes the first move. These are the men we women should be trying to find instead of lowering our standards for pathetically insecure men.
Let’s get it together women!
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