I always say put ten women in a room together, for instance, at work, and watch as the claws come out. We just can’t help ourselves which is why men in the room can balance things out. Whilst I am a girls girl, I love spending time around the various men in my life as they’re relatively uncomplicated. They have a laugh, and yes they do ramble on about sports, but in general their friendships are quite simplistic. The place where they can fall down is the emotional support as some men just struggle with talking about their emotions, or listening to someone else talk about theirs.
This is where women come in because the beauty of female friendship is that with the right friends, you can share in each others ups and downs, have fabulous girls nights outs and talk about the emotional side of life.
I do get frightened when I hear stories about so-called friendships because I wonder: What the hell has happened to sisterhood? To friendship?
– Women sleeping with their friends boyfriends
– Women sleeping with their friends husbands
– Women doing the above with a sibling or other relatives partners
– Women smiling and extending the hand of friendship to their face and talking about that same person as soon as their back is turned
– Women slagging off their female friends to other men, cockblocking in the worst way
– Women being nasty and unsupportive towards each other in the workplace
– Women treating their friends like lackeys or boyfriends and having too high expectations
– One way friendships – they drain and take support and give nothing back
– Women that ditch their friends entirely when they get a boyfriend
A lot of what drives bad friendship is the Dick Before Friends policy and whilst I appreciate that lots of people want to find a partner to settle down with, I think that we need be a little bit more considerate towards our friendships and stop the back-biting and back-stabbing. The whole desiring a man because he’s attached to someone else, particularly if it’s your friend or relative, making him approved, is nasty and pathetic.
I think that regardless of whether a woman is your friend or not, we need to learn to be more supportive of our species and stop flexing our bitch gene. It’s actually rather unattractive and if you need to understand it from a male perspective, men really dislike womens pathological need to be bitchy to other women. It’s a cold, cruel world out there and our resistance to standing together and choosing to screw each over instead is the undoing of us. We will never achieve anywhere near as much as men or come close to standing equal as long as we think that slagging someone off because of what she’s wearing, how she looks, the man that she’s with, the choices that she makes should take top billing in conversations. Sometimes men do have the right idea and we could stand to learn a little something from their friendships.
I’ve been running Baggage Reclaim since September 2005, and I’ve spent many thousands of hours writing this labour of love. The site has been ad-free the entire time, and it costs hundreds of pounds a month to run it on my own. If what I share here has helped you and you’re in a position to do so, I would love if you could make a donation. Your support is so very much appreciated! Thank you.
Copyright Natalie Lue 2005-2024, All rights reserved. Written and express permission along with credit is needed to reproduce and distribute excerpts or entire pieces of my work.
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