So it seems that there is a scientific reason as to why us ladies sometimes obsess over one night stands – According to the Jan issue of the UK Cosmopolitan, if and when we are lucky enough to reach orgasm, our body releases the ‘trust drug’ oxytocin which “floods your brain and persists for several days, hence the temporary infatuation” and “Sense only returns once the floodgates have closed.”
Well, well, well!
I’m a very strong advocate of the rule that one night stands are normally one night stands for a reason and rarely end in wedding bells; however that infatuation feeling is a bitch to deal with. So there are clearly two options with this:
Keep the legs firmly closed and avoid going back to your one nighter for a rematch, as this will only start the whole infatuation feeling all over again…
OR
Hope and pray that you have one night stands with guys that don’t cause you to orgasm…
I say go with the first option!
On another more important note though, this little nugget of knowledge has far wider reaching implications for women that engage in booty calls, ‘tings’, ‘Friends Who F*ck (FWF)’ and trying to shag a relationship out of emotionally unavailable men and already attached men. I’ve have written before about The Justifying Zone which is that slippery slope area that women who have had sex too soon or slept with an unsuitable man fall into after having sex. We continue to sleep with them and persist in trying to string together a relationship because it’s our subconscious way of having a viable excuse for sleeping with them in the first place which means we have to ignore their dubious qualities and possible red flags whilst we’re at it.
Dysfunctional sex, which is that great sex you have with someone you shouldn’t be having it with that is charged by underlying negative and dependent emotions, also thrives in these situations.
It is comforting now to know that this ‘trust drug’ oxytocin is fuelling a lot of this behaviour, which means that if awareness of its existence and the ability to keep the legs closed for longer periods of time to let your brain return to it’s logical format, could help you break dodgy vicious relationship cycles. Sex is a weapon that can render us ill-equipped to deal with the emotional onslaught from certain types of sexual situations and this is another reminder for us that if we want to get good relationships going with suitable guys, keeping yourself on lockdown for that little bit longer could pay off for you in spades. Good luck!
whenever i reach orgasm with someone, i don’t really stress them.
but when i don’t reach orgasm, i long for them and that infatuation that you speak of persists. i always figured it was because i didn’t get to climax and my body longed for them to make me climax especially if they got theirs off.
siobhan
on 26/03/2007 at 1:27 pm
Hi Guys,
Having read your article, I think I may be one of those women that falls for that unsuitable man. I’m 23 and just come out of a heavy 3 year relationship and I’m seeing a guy who is much older than me.
We have great sex, but he doesn’t want a relationship with me, but the sex is so good, that I don’t want to give him up, even though I should. I have sexual infatuation thingy, as I don’t think I’m in love with him.
I really want to break it off with him, but I sing with him, so it’s kind of hard. What do I do?
Please help me
Burgled!
on 11/07/2008 at 11:37 pm
Unknowndiva, I agree… it’s like craving for them to take you there again and take you further!!
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i find this to be totally opposite for me.
whenever i reach orgasm with someone, i don’t really stress them.
but when i don’t reach orgasm, i long for them and that infatuation that you speak of persists. i always figured it was because i didn’t get to climax and my body longed for them to make me climax especially if they got theirs off.
Hi Guys,
Having read your article, I think I may be one of those women that falls for that unsuitable man. I’m 23 and just come out of a heavy 3 year relationship and I’m seeing a guy who is much older than me.
We have great sex, but he doesn’t want a relationship with me, but the sex is so good, that I don’t want to give him up, even though I should. I have sexual infatuation thingy, as I don’t think I’m in love with him.
I really want to break it off with him, but I sing with him, so it’s kind of hard. What do I do?
Please help me
Unknowndiva, I agree… it’s like craving for them to take you there again and take you further!!