Recently there seems to be a lot of occurrences of women I know being involved with Mr Unavailables. I found myself on a date with a guy that is still living with his ex, and when you add in the fact that the previous guy I dated also lived with his ex, and my Male Best Friend says he loves me but can’t be with me because he has a girlfriend, it begs the question: Is it me? Is it us?

What is it that guys sense in women that makes them pursue us even though they haven’t got their house (literally) in order?

Do I secretly want to be with a guy that is emotionally, physically or spiritually unavailable? Not that I know of, but I guess if I’m keeping it a secret from myself….

What is clear is that something needs to change and that the cycle, whatever it is that drives it, must be broken. Guys that have other matters to attend to have a nifty knack of giving you enough to keep you hanging on because we see the potential.

Excuse: If only he didn’t have the ex to sort out, he’d be such a fabulous guy.

It’s easy to make excuses but it’s not so easy to walk away it seems. I have found myself agreeing to a second date, just for the hell of it and because I don’t feel like having ‘the conversation’ after a first date because I’m not sure if I will make it to a 3rd date. The trouble with ‘the conversation’ is that you end up getting deeper into something by asking for change.

And yes I have thought about telling him to come back when his ex is free, but do I really want to do that, if I’m not sure if I want him to come back?

The problem is that these situations throw up lots of questions and lots of maybes, which says a lot really because we shouldn’t be with people that throw up so much ambiguity in the first place.

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