Today on day 3 of the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series, Hot Alpha Female shares an empowering call to action…

Ok I have to admit something to you guys, I was having a little trouble of thinking of something to talk to you about and while I was surfing the site, I thought to myself, “OK! I get it!! There is a lot of baggage that we have out there. About ourselves, about relationships, and about life. Right now we are in baggage wonderland!”

And while I would love to indulge in that for a little longer, I came to the conclusion that we really need to stop enjoying wallowing in our own baggage and in our own pity.

I know I know .. I’m going to p*ss some of you off when I say that but this is as much of an epiphany for YOU as it is for ME.

Yes maybe we picked the wrong partner in the past. Yes maybe we made a couple of stupid mistakes. Yes we probably could have done things differently. Yes to every other negative and statement we say to ourselves each and everyday without realising it.

You know why I think some of us love wallowing in our own pity? Because it makes us feel comfortable. We are used to saying the same things to ourselves over and over again and some of us even love being the victim.

We are comfortable knowing that hey .. we couldn’t do ANYTHING about what happened to us. Its sometimes comforting thinking that our experience of the world is something that we cannot control. But is that really living? Is that really the type of person that you want to be? Is that a life that you want to live? Where you allow others to dictate how you should or should not feel?

And what if I said to you that “Everything that you has happened to you is because you attracted it” …

Some of you may want to chuck a John McEnroe “You cannot be serious!”

Well I am serious. Deadly serious.

Let me give you an example. A very dear friend of mine who is a great girl had a tough upbringing. Her father was an alcoholic and her mother left when we she was younger. Later in her life both parents remarried. During high school she was into drugs and what not. During this stage of her life all the men that she had ever dated were also alcoholics.

Co-incidence? I think not. It was only until she moved away from her parents and settled in a place by herself and took a year out of everything to really find out more about herself that she changed beliefs about herself and grew as a person. The end result? She is getting married to a wonderful, great, guy who is pretty much the opposite of everything that she has dated in the past.

So what point am I trying to make? Basically you can’t attract someone better into your life until you clean up all your baggage. Until you really find out what holds you back. Until you figure out what beliefs about yourself that keep attracting and repelling certain people.

What I’m saying is that it is time to take self responsibility for your life. Its time to stop blaming other people/circumstances/situations and realise that you have inadvertently created all your problems and therefore have the power and capability to create solutions.

It’s time to take control of your thoughts. Instead of thinking about all the horrible or bad experiences that you may have had, it’s time to start thinking of all the wonderful things that are possible for you in the future.

It’s about time that we stop wallowing in the past, stop dreaming about the future and live life today. Because today is all that we are guaranteed. It’s time to start being grateful for all those past experiences because they made you the wiser, stronger, and the more independent person you are today. If you love yourself, then how can you really hate your past?

It’s time to recognise that hey, life is like this. Life is going to chuck so many challenges in front of you. Some of them will make us cry for days. Some will knock us out for months. But it’s not a question of how many challenges we may get and it’s not about how many knocks we get out of life but it IS about getting up every single time something bad happens to us and moving forward. It’s about being scared to do something, but going ahead and doing it anyway. It’s about getting out of that comfort zone and realising our true potential.

It’s about shedding an identity about yourself that has been holding you back from experiencing those things that you so richly deserve. At the end of the day, it is about going back to loving and respecting yourself first and foremost.

It’s time that everyone gets back up on their feet and clears out the BAGGAGE once and for all!!!

Your thoughts?

Hot Alpha Female is a new weekly contributor to Baggage Reclaim. She’s a vibrant twenty-something that loves talking about dating and relationships, as well as skiing and laughing uncontrollably.

Do you have a post or tip to submit for the series? Get in touch! Read other posts from the series.

If you’re a habitual dater of emotionally unavailable men, don’t forget that Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl is now available to buy and download.

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