Recently I ended it with a guy I refer to as The F*ckwit for the primary reason that he was an over opinionated, too self-absorbed to see beyond himself F*ckwit, who lived miles away anyway so it was never going to work. Two weeks went by and I received a text message with a stupid one liner, but it wasn’t the one liner that really wound me up, it was the fact that he used a text message for his form of communication after two weeks of zip all.
It is great that we have access to all of this technology which is supposed to make your life easier, but we need to get over this bad habit of using stylised objects as a substitution for ‘real’ communication.
I appreciate that it’s the year 2006, but back in the day you had a telephone or a letter, which was always a bit dramatic so we really had to either meet up or get on the phone. The longer we avoided contact, the harder it would be to initiate contact, so we were forced to either make contact or cut our losses. We were forced to communicate with each other as we had very little options. Now we have a plethora of options and as humans, we seem to think that text messages, email, Post-It notes etc are the way to go. Instead of getting on the phone and biting the bullet, we bridge the gap with a form of communication that often leaves things wide open to interpretation and creates more problems. These options allow people to make a tentative step which protects their pride…their ego’s….
Text messages, Post-It notes, email have become dangerous tools that remove the emotion out of everything because they put distance between you and the recipient meaning that you don’t have to invest as much energy into it as a phonecall or face to face. People fail to realise that when you are in a relationship with someone, or no longer wish to be, these forms of communication should not be used for important communication as the contents can be left open to interpretation.
We are cowardly and afraid of communication, but we ‘think’ that we are communicating with these lazier options. If I had fallen out with The F*ckwit a day or few ago, I could let it slide, but after two weeks, I’d expect him to have some brass nuts and get on the phone if he felt he had something to say. However, if you are going to rely on these forms of communication, the least you can do is write a decent succinct message.
The next time you go to text message, pick up the phone and use your voice. Text messages are handy for checking in with each other, making arrangements, but they should not be used as the main form of communication when you aren’t around each other. Get on the phone and get closer. Post-It notes are for leaving notes about dry cleaning, not calling an end to relationships. Emails are the laziest form of communication and should be treated like text messages. If you find that you communicate on email with long paragraphs and substitute uncomfortable telephone conversations with misinterpreted emails, step away from the keyboard.