Don’t treat being single as that difficult stretch of time between men. Luxuriate in the opportunity to enjoy your own company and do your own thing. Make it a positive lifestyle and embrace it.

If you can handle it emotionally and not let it complicate your life, get a f*ck buddy/ting/booty call and enjoy the freedom and control of the situation.

Try a sex break or dating hiatus. These two things will enlighten you to your emotional and relationship patterns so that you can positively enhance your future relationships and be more comfortable with yourself.

Do go on holiday on your own. It’s a liberating experience that will also ease that need to have to always do things in ‘twos’. Eat when you want, go where you want, sleep when you want and be brave and talk to and be whoever you want to be. Remember, what goes on tour, stays on tour.

Stop obsessing over when a guy will call after the first date. No matter how amazing you think the date was, it’s one date and burning up brain power and fretting over whether somebody you hardly know is going to call you is a surefire way to making you feel that you have more of a connection with him and want him more than you actually do. If he calls, he calls, if he doesn’t, tough tits for him and it’s his loss.

When you do see red flags, acknowledge, access them and depending on what it is, bail out and abort the mission or confront the red flag head on. Don’t ignore it and try to focus on the rosy glow of what you think things are because when you’re sobbing into your pillow in a few months about that very thing, you’ll kick yourself.

Have standards. I don’t mean having a rigid list of criteria that a man must meet, but do have some bare frickin basics that will automatically mean that you won’t date him when he doesn’t even meet those. I’m not talking about superficial stuff – I mean the glaringly obvious things like emotionally unavailable, must not have wife/girlfriend/or any other woman/must be respectful/must not be emotionally or physically abusive.

Have a yardstick. It is alarming that even though we have ‘standards’ we’re willing to drop them and extend the yardstick to accomodate bad behaviour, when in actual fact there has to be a cut off point. If we always expand the yardstick, what is the point in having one?

Live in reality and view him as he is, not on his potential. If you haven’t acknowledged the reality of the guy, it is likely that you are projecting a potential on him that is unrealistic and unlikely to happen.

Stop trying to change guys and dating Fixer Uppers because it will only end in tears. Nobody makes positive change because it’s been pushed on them and you tend to find that people evolve into being the best that they can be because it’s what they want personally and because loving someone brings that out of them.

Always discuss your expectations about him and the relationship with him and don’t second guess him or hope that by not saying anything, it’ll all come out anyway. One of the most difficult things about relationships is that people fail to discuss their expectations with their partner so that they can discover if there are any potential differences of opinion that may have a large impact, so that they can manage their expectations, adjust them or make sure that they are realistic. Finding out for instance that he doesn’t feel that he can have kids ever even though you do after you’ve moved in together or got married is a major no-no. Hoping that he will change his mind and going along with the flow is not to be relied upon either.

Don’t spend your energy pursuing, dating, or having full blown ‘relationships’ with emotionally unavailable men. This is a recipe for disaster and is the equivalent of peeing into the wind. I dedicate a whole blog to the subject – do not be suckered into thinking that you’ll be the one to make a difference.

Don’t ever shag a relative’s or friend’s boyfriend. In fact don’t shag anyone’s boyfriend but least of all someone you’re supposed to care about. Have some self respect and any man who is willing to be with you despite the fact that he’s with one of these people is no good anyway.

Be careful of having office affairs. If you like your job, I say don’t sh*t on your own doorstep unless you’re very sure that this is something that is going to be serious. Crushes and attractions do pass, but having to face your superior who has been naked with you every day in work is not for the faint hearted. You could find youself leaving a job for someone that was just a shag. If you do have an office affair, enjoy but be very careful!

Don’t try to lay a P*ssy Trap. If you have ever considered getting pregnant to force the hand of your man and get the commitment you want, close your legs and back away. You aren’t trapping him, you’re trapping yourself!

FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
Ready to make way for the loving relationship you want? Sign up for RELATIONSHIP FUNDAMENTALS classes.
This is default text for notification bar