I just wanted to stop by and wish you all a very merry Christmas / happy Holidays! I’m going to chill out for a few days with my family and try to get some much needed rest.
Thank you all for continuing to be a part of my journey and for allowing me to be a part of yours. I am very blessed. Whoever you’re with tomorrow, try and have a great day and spend it with people with whom you share mutual care, trust, respect and even love. Although don’t forget that it’s just one day and that it’s just December, although it does create a huge amount of pressure so just exhale, embrace, enjoy and try not to get too bogged down with how you thought things would or ‘should’ be.
Love and big squeezey hugs, Nat xxxx
PS Don’t send that text. Or that Facebook message. Or leave that drunk voicemail. Or turn up in a fur coat and no knickers!
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Ooops! Wish I had read your P.S. a couple of hours ago. Mine was an IM and an email along with a river of tears. When will I EVER learn, Natalie!
Merry Christmas to you and your family. Give those sweet girls an extra hug from me, please.
LOL!!! Happy Holidays Natalie. Wonderful picture ๐
HAPPY HOLIDAYS NATALIE. TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY..THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR ADVICE I’M A WORK IN PROGRESS…
Merry Christmas Natalie and God Bless you and your beautiful family!!
Merry Christmas gorgeous! Thank you for all you! MUAH! xoxo
Oh I did send that text!
However mine said “Too Little, Too Late” Felt amazing!
Lots of Love to you and yours for this Christmas time Natalie,
Merry Christmas Nat and friends!
Good advice once again … Enjoy the day
With your kids. I’m heading to Mexico with mine.
Seasons best all. 2013 will be a great year.
Cheers
J
All the best to you and your Lovelies! Have a wonderful and blessed Christmas, and a very Happy New Year.
Whew! Close call. So glad you added the last part about the fur and the knickers! LOL As if ….
Merry Christmas to you and yours, Natalie!
Merry Christmas!
Thanks for all the advice ๐
What a beautiful picture!!!!!! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and your family!!! As always thank you SO much for all your amazing advice and wisdom all of these years. I don’t know what I would do without this blog! I wish you and your family all the blessings in the world!!
Merry Christmas my dear xx
Happy Flushing!!
Lol! Thank you for your wisdom. This is exactly what a best friend should advise me. Have a lovely time with your family.
You, too, Natalie. You all do look awfully happy! ๐
Lawrence
Merry Christmas to everyone hope you all find peace.
Lovely photo.
Merry Christmas, Natalie!! Your family looks beautiful as always!!
Happy Holidays!!!
Everyone have a nice time whatever you do or don’t do. Thanks for the reminder Natalie since I’m only on day 5 of NC and it’s his bday.
Silence is golden. Love you all on this site.
Dear Natalie, have a great Christmas and a Happy New Year!!! ALL the best to you and your beautiful family! xxx
Happy Christmas Natalie! Lovely photo btw.
Am finally seeing a good ‘un & it’s so different from the EUM. We’ll see what happens! x
Merry, Merry Christmas to you Nathalie – Thanks you for being part of our lives and keeping us in check.
I loved your PS and you are again right spot on – I was just wondering ”what if he sends it first ? Should I answer ? Anyways almost 3 months NC so I don’t think it will be the case anyways.
I think we should post the emails/texts/wishes here instead…less damage ๐
Hugs and Kisses to all of you – I feel less lonely.
P.S : Loved, loved the pic, NAthalie – I see that you are a prints lover – mee too. Happy prints makes me happy !!!!
Merry Christmas to you and your family Natalie. Thank you for holding all of us accountable for our actions, telling the truth about us not being responsible for others bad behavior and giving us the tools and daily encouragement to keep it all going! As I am 5 hours behind you, I’m sure you’re setting out the Santa gifts right now. Much happiness to you.
Happy Christmas Nat. Yes you are indeed blessed to have two such gorgeous girls and they are blessed to have such a compassionate wise Mum. Ok, thats enough soppiness for a Christmas Eve… now wheres that glass of wine?
Merry Christmas Natalie and all the wonderful people here who have given me food for thought and shared themselves in the most real, charitable and amazing ways. Blessings for 2013.
Have a fabulous Xmas with your beautiful family Nat!! No drama here…. I plan on spending my holidays with people who treat me with love, care, and respect!
XOXOX!
Merry Merry Christmas! Thanks so much for all the time, energy, and wisdom that you share. Your words and advice have been life-changing. Wishing you and your very beautiful a very blessed and peace-filled holiday season and 2013. Bless you and thank you.
Natalie,
Merry Christmas to you and your family. Thank you yet again for all the eye opening words of wisdom you’ve shared. Those words, over the last two years have turned my life around.
BR Gals and Guys,
Merry Christmas to my web friends. Sending out peaceful, hopeful, and healing thoughts to where ever you all are.
Merry Christmas Natalie xx. This time last year I did send that text, guess what? He never even replied,I used Christmas as an excuse to contact him. However over the last year I’ve learnt a lot about myself and I’ve learnt from you and all the people that comment here. Thanks a lot.
Yeah – I screwed up big-time last Christmas. But like you, This year I’m a little better for reading BR. Maybe next year, we will be laughing and not even remember any of the pain we went through. Cheers!
I have never commented before but I want to wish you and your family a very merry Christmas NML! I am only on day one of NC (talk about bad timing) and yet, I can not help but feel more loved and supported than ever. The people in my life are truly reasons to be grateful and so is Baggage Reclaim. Here is to an amazing 2013 filled with all of the landmarks of love!
Natalie you are always on time!!!! Thanks for the reminder not to text etc. So glad I didn’t, “it’s just one day”, right! I love my baggage reclaim family – it keeps me strong. Layover in Atlanta headed to Nashville. Merry Christmas everyone!
SS
thank u so much natalie,ive been with you and this big family since may and this is the first year i can say im single and truely happy.god bless you for your time and advice and merry christmas everyone x
Indeed. Merry. Merry. To all. ๐
Have a most Blessed and Merry Christmas!
Merry, merry Christmas Natalie and all the BR ladies and gents. Sending warmth, strength, and hugs to all.
You and your little girls are adorable.
Cheers.
PS. Your hubby is one lucky dude!
Had our Christmas last night … frozen pizza, because my children were too hungry to wait for the Ham, and the unwrapping of gifts by the duraflame log in the fireplace! And the kids still called me “the best”! If they only knew. Lol! Just perfect for us. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
Thank you, Natalie, for paying forward your insights and experiences, for your patience and time. We are all so grateful for you. Merry Christmas!!!
Merry Christmas Natalie and family! This site has helped me so much this past year. Thank you for all you do! Too late, already sent the text but, tomorrows another day and I DO feel fine.
May everyone have a drama-free, assclown-free, calm & peaceful holiday season. Take it easy & take care.
Merry Christmas to you, and your beautiful family ๐
Merry Christmas Natalie, I wish you and your family every happiness for the Christmas and New Year. Thank you for all you have given me and so many others by sharing your life journey and putting your programs out there for us. You are a life saver. May god bless you as much as you have blessed me and 1000’s of others.
Take special care and get some much deserved rest. Juls
Merry Christmas to everyone and I think I would look rather funny in a fur coat.
539
I have been following you for six months since my six year non relationship ended. Thank you for all of your wisdom and wonderful words! You’ve gotten me through the worst of it! Enjoy the rest but please return soon… Happy Holidays and many heartfelt thanks!!!!! Irene
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!
Merry Christmas, Natalie, to you and yours! And thank you!
And sending my best wishes to all of BR, too! You have ALL been so wise and kind and helpful to me, in your weakness and your strength! Peace and joy to all! Love and thanks! Xoxo
Thank you for all the inspiration and hope you’ve given me this year. You have truly been a blessing in my life and I’m so glad I found you. Happy Holidays!
Merry Christmas Nathalie, thank you for all your words of wisdom. You don’t know how much you have helped me in the last year since I split with my husband.
Merry Christmas Natalie, to you and your beautiful family!! My first time posting but have been a very loyal reader since ’08. All the best to you and yours in the New Year!!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS NATALIE TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR ADVICE….. I’M A WORK IN PROGRESS…..
natalie, thank you for everything. have a wonderful x-mas with your gorgeous family.
Happy Holidays to you Nat and your family ๐
I love your words/ thoughts! I’m 19 and am going through such a hard break up! Thank you for your words. Your post have been helping me get through a hard time. You have taught me so much! Thank- you and merry Christmas/ happy holidAys to you as well! ๐
Merry Christmas Natalie and all of you wonderful people that are part of this lovely and supportive community. BR rocks. I am feeling healthier than ever thanks to all of you and your comforting advice.
Wishing you a very happy holiday season, thank you for being a constant inspiration. Joy and peace ๐ x
Happy holidays to everyone! This is the second holiday season I’m spending with my wonderful boyfriend, whom I would never have met if it were not for BR. Well, I guess I would have met him but I never would have gone for him because I would have thought he was a loser for being too available and too genuine. Ha.
Anyway Natalie, have a great Christmas and keep doing what you’re doing – changing people’s lives! You definitely changed mine and I couldn’t be happier.
This site has been so helpful in getting emotional health and so very encouraging. Thanks Natalie for all you do for women! BR is certainly empowering! Merry Christmas! And your girls are so adorably stylish!
Jennifer,
Accidentally replied to your message in my previous post. I did read your post and it is super encouraging. Gives me hope ๐ Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas to you all, I feel healthy for the first time in a long time and hand on heart couldn’t have done it without BR – my second family xxxxx Here’s hoping 2013 will be a better one ๐
MERRY CHRISTMAS/YULETIDE GREETINGS TO YOU ALL xx
I was going to send that text in the evening thinking okay it’s December and Christmas and…ohahahaha- and I come onto your blog and read this.I DIDN’T send it,Natalie.I DIDN”T and I’m so proud of me.Thank YOU! I loved that line-fur coat and no knickers-hahahaha! Totally adore you for telling it like it is and WITHOUT being preachy or talking down to us.
You go ahead and get that much needed R&R, Natalie and fun times with your three darlings:)
I had a great time today-me and my gal pal went out and stuffed ourselves silly,went mall hopping to see what Xmas deco was on,laughed so much and took plenty of photographs.Back then,I probably would have waited to be called by HIM or sat and mourned or wasted away wishing that something would happen.Ha! No more tears…
Thank you too for coming into my life this way and being a crucial part of it-love your honesty as always,Natalie.Couldn’t have it any other way.
Much Love and big squeezy hugs right back to you and your little Angels there.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
And please have an extra piece of that Christmas cake for me:)We don’t get them here like you do out there.
Sheela
INDIA
Merry Christmas everyone!! I didn’t expect to hear from the ex AC this morning. We’ve been NC for 2 1/2 months, he was being a real jerk and even though he doesn’t know that I know… he was talking/seeing someone else (overlapper)before we ended it.
He text me just before…”merry Christmas :(”
On one hand, I feel that if I reply.. same to you, it shows I’m not bitter. If I don’t reply… it’s just cause, hey, he treated me like sh!t before I walked hasn’t been in touch since… why the heck would I care to reply?
it’s just fecking Christmas, right? lol.. hey, I’m having a wonderful day so far with my family, and have been doing just fine while NC. I’m staying strong!!
What do y’all suggest, quick no-bitter reply? or nada… absolutely nothing?
I’d say nothing, Demke. You don’t have anything to prove to him. You’re done. Relationship over. Moving on to 2013, right? ๐
My ex did the same thing. Then two more texts came in like aren’t u going to wish me merry christmas? I didn’t answer. Feeling bad has made me break NC numerous times. Stay strong It’s just Christmas and they are just stopping by for an ego boost and to feel good about themselves ๐ Good Tidings and Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas Natalie! Thanks for all your great advice this year. You are awesome!! :0)
Happy Holidays to all!
This site has been so supportive over the past year. I am going on 4 months NC and have been a little emotional the last couple of days…however…it IS just one day. I went online just now thinking how Natalie would probably post one last time for Xmas to give us that extra support we may all need right now…and she did!! You are a true blessing Natalie. Everyone on BR has helped keep me motivated and on track to a healthier and happier life.
God Bless.
Thanks Natalie this site changed my life! even though I have met a couple of mr.unavailables in a row at least im onto them and no more getting my head wrecked well not for too long anyway lol. Happy christmas everyone and hope you all have a wonderful 2013:D
Ehh.. I did not respond to the merry Assclown, lol… My Christmas and everything else is quite merry without him!!!
Thank you so much for your wisdom every day, Natalie. Merry Christmas to everyone, Happy Holidays in general and here’s to a prosperous New Year!
Although I have admittedly broken NC once or twice this holiday season (I guess it was more of the Suck it and See measure Natalie once talked about – trying it because it all got too overwhelming and I was thinking so much about it I might as well be doing it then getting back on the horse) I am grateful for those setbacks because they really gave me the closure I needed. So even if you’re reading this and you feel you’ve “failed” somehow – just get back on the horse, and push yourself forward again. Sometimes it takes a few tries. Other times, you find you are strong enough to simply go cold turkey.
For those going strong–keep at it, it is worth it.
BR has really helped me through my toughest times and has put everything into perspective.
This 2013, I really hope I continue to stick to my values and boundaries and fully embrace what I deserve.
I know that all BR readers and I deserve:
a) A healthy, loving relationship with ourselves, first and foremost, regardless of our relationship status
b) When we are ready and emotionally available ourselves,a healthy relationship with an emotionally available person who is willing to put both feet into the relationship and isn’t afraid of commitment. Someone who shares our values and isn’t lacking in the integrity department.
c) Freedom from the stress of Assclowns and EUM’s and Narcissists who, as Grizelda mention on an earlier post, may claim to have crisp apples but can only offer cabbages.
And for those who find themselves in that situation where your EUM is with someone else and you’re single during the holiday season – remember that you are better off single than devaluing yourself and your standards. Also remember that you are worth and deserve SO MUCH better.
Love and peace to everyone and thank you all for the insight you give me every day! xoxo
Ladies; if your EUM is with someone else during the holidays, thank your stars that he is not with you. That is so not a Xmas present. You want to start and end a year with someone you love; yourself, and or also someone healthy and loveable. Out with the old and in with the new!!!
Dancingqueen, it is NOT easy:( I am very unhappy actually knowing that my current AC went to Dubai with someone else, it’s make sick with anger, so I was good for f&%$ but not good enough for celebrating his Birthday and Christmas/New Year. I feel so sorry for myself:(
nooooooooooo Little Star……you are just temporarily insane; you don’t know this but it is so much better than he is out of your life. Anyone who acts like crap is going to turn around and treat someone else like that; how do you know that his new victim is not crying her eyes out in Dubai right now? You don’t know, right?
Look. last year at this time I had a boyfriend. On the outside it looked great; on the inside I was already not sure, not really enthusiastic and just feeling kind of….bleh. You cannot judge what a couple is from the outside and definitely not the first few months.
You are THROUGH with him! Done! Toast! Nada! Ni! Zilch! You need to think to the future without him; he is a lesson learned, and honestly you are done with him you just don’t know it yet. The anger phase shows that you are healing (((HUGS)))))!!!!!
Thank you Dancingqueen:) BUT I cant help feeling this way, I feel so stupid and used…HE told me that he is going with his nephew, but I do not believe him! I would never ever meet him again, I promise, I rather come back to my ex AC, than stay with current one! Have a great Happy New Year dancingqueen, I hope we will be more lucky in 2013! xxx
Little Star if it makes you feel any better, I was the one who got to go on a New Years Eve vacay with an ac who I am sure I was a part of his harem. I did not have a good time, nothing worse than being away from home with an eu/ac and cant get away from them when they start their crap. You are the lucky one. Here I was with this douchebag, in NYC and he was a total ac. He kept texting ‘someone’, he told his mom that he was with a friend, right in front of my face, and he stared like a pervert at every ‘sexy’ girl that passed. And if that wasnt enough, he flirted with the girl who sat in our row on the flight home, it was horrible. Trust me, you are the lucky one.
Thank you SM, I do feel better from what you said… What kills me the most, that he planned this in advance and did not tell me anything! I could not believe it:( He is coming back on 2 of January, and no way he will reach me now! NC all the way x
Good you go nc because I should have never went on that vacation with him. And, I’m positively sure that neither should the girl who is with your bf now. Trust me, if this guy is telling you that he is with his nephew, he is keeping all the balls in the air and the girl he’s with is not feeling very special.
Merry Christmas! I sooo needed to hear “it’s just one day” right now. Thank you for keeping me sane, always…especially today.
Merry Christmas all, stay strong xo
I made it through three texts yesterday after being no contact for four months. Today I got the phone call with …I am really worried about you cause you didn’t answer my Xmas texts Huh? Please call me so I know you are alright?? Huh???? I am incredulous. Why do I have this small part of me that feels bad after all the post break up mind phukery he has put me through.
“Get in touch to let me know you are alright” after 4 mos no contact doesn’t need to be replied to. My ex AC used the “I’m worried about you” line too, but he’d shown often enough when we were dating that I hardly crossed his mind as long as he knew I was on the chain he could yank. I eventually realized that after his behaviour, he had forfeited the privilege of knowing if I am okay or not.
Way to go Magnolia – I LOVE that last sentence and will always remember that thought. Thank you. God Bless.
True true true Magnolia They did forfeit that right. The mind games they play are rough and this coming from a Poker and Chess player who is excellent at games. The kind played by my ex were a whole new experience for me and I am still going through the process. I do get it though now. Have to fight the learned behavior and my compassionate side because he doesn’t deserve compassion. My new man told me I remind him of the song “damaged” by danity kane. I had to admit he was right but thank God he had the patience of a Saint.
“Why do I have this small part of me that feels bad after all the post break up mind phukery he has put me through.”
Because he is a really good manipulator and you don’t want to really see it like it is, so you are manipulating yourself. He is not worried, he is fishing.
Yes I was manipulating myself because they employ methods of mind control. Took me awhile to get it. He is a master manipulator and he is more than fishing. He must be at a low point in supply because he has officially gone off his rocker. The texts and phone calls haven’t stopped for 4 days. I finally texted back yesterday “I don’t want to talk to you” I got another phone call and text after that asking me to tell him what is going on and begging me to call. I know blocking his number is next. I haven’t spoken to him in months and this reaction over me not answering a merry christmas text??? His toxicity is worse than ever and I know it is a game. I finally have realized that the whole damn relationship was a game he controlled. My view of the whole ordeal has officially changed drastically…
The showering of gifts, vacations, attention…….use to think he was digging deep for me and it kept me having a soft spot for him….now i know it was to gain and keep “CONTROL”
The coming back to me crying and begging after I cut him off because of disappearing, gaslighting and other screwed up behavior…..use to take it as a sign he loved me too much to leave me and missed me desperatly…..now i see it as not wanting to lose “CONTROL” of great supply.
The great sex…so much of it was makeup sex and fueled by the inconsistency and drama of the relationship.
The pitiful poor me act use to make me think he was so messed up and needed me in his life……now i see it as his FEAR of losing “CONTROL”
His stories of treating other women badly made me feel as if I was the exception…Use to take that as a sign he found his true love. Now I know I was just a better challenge since I employed cutting off from day 1 every time he messed with my head. Now I know I was just good supply/challenge and facing that fact has been agonizing when I thought he was my soul mate and truly loved me.
I finally get it and much thanks to BR and all the wise posters on here. I had to finally face I was with a narcissist who cannot love me in a healthy way and No Contact is the only way to free myself from this toxic man.
Thank you Natalie
Rarely post but BR is a lifeline to me. I did send a short festive text…. maybe I shouldn’t have but historically have always danced to his tune ie wait for him to send a note first as I did not want to appear ‘needy’ or ‘demanding’ or ‘not cool’! Sheesh! Well, I sent it and it’s ok that it has been unanswered. I am at this point and it is hard to act in a way that is alien to my nature. Maybe I will toughen up but in the meantime am doing the best I can and am getting through it.
Blessings and gratitude to you Natalie, your family and to all BR’s.
Oh thanks to GOD for Natalie….I was SERIOUSLY tempted to send a Merry Christmas message on facebook to that married assclown o__O
I didn’t though. Thanks Natalie for teaching self-love…
Merry Christmas everyone!!! To holding our heads high with self-esteem in the next year!!!
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year, Natalie! I keep thinking back to how ‘lost’ I was this time last year (going thru a divorce from an EUM/cheater and all the while being ‘in love’ (obsessed) w a married man…and wow have I come a looong way!! 98% of the reason why I got through it was because of you and Baggage Reclaim. I could never thank you enough for the support and words of encouragement you continually provide to me (and all your readers)! You are truly a blessing! xoxo -Audra (NJ) ๐ ๐
Merry Christmas Natalie. I wish you, your girls and you husband an wonderful Christmas and New Year.
I cannot thank you enough for you and this blog. You saved me in every possible way. The greatest thing you have taught me was to look at things and situations with the right perspective. It has helped soooo much.
For everything, I Thank you again.
As for the wonderful ladies on this site, I wish you all seasonโs greetings. Griz, Natasha, Natashya, Sushi, Grace, Miskwa, K, and those I may have missedโฆโฆโฆ.. Thank you all. Happy holidays ladies and thank you for everything. ๐
Hugs Confused, and Happy New Year to you and all, onwards and upwards from here !
Have a wonderful Christmas, Natalie, and all the best for 2013 with your beautiful family!!
I feel so blessed for having found your site, youยดve helped me more than if Iยดd spent years in therapy.
Also wishing a lovely X-mas and even better new year to the BR community, and thank you all for your honesty in sharing your lives and being there for me.
Big hugs!
Thanks Natalie for another amazing year of baggage reclaim. I didn’t know I’d still be reading your blog after 3 years but I’m sure I will for a long time. You are an amazing inspiration and support and my self esteem continues to build more and more through your guidance. Everything happens at the time it’s supposed to. You are amazing. Happy Christmas to you and your beautiful family. Enjoy your absolutely well earned rest xxxx
Natalie
A very happy Christmas to you as well. Adding my thanks for all you do. I hope you get all you deserve this holiday season. A lot!!! Hugs xo
Just got in from the backcountry; Nat, your girls are awesome! In the old way it already is the new year so I want to wish everyone on this site a happy, drama and AC free new year.
merry christmas to you and your beautiful family. thank you always for your inspiring and uplifting words and wisdom!
Merry Christmas, Nat, and thank you for all your great advice. I haven’t been reading BR for a few months, because things had gotten better with my guy, but as they’ve fallen apart over the holidays I came looking for help tonight. I burst out laughing when I read your advice not to send “that” text or voicemail. Too late for me… I did that last night and ended up screaming “F*** you!” and hanging up on him on Christmas Eve (he really does deserve that and more; I promise). My boyfriend is still “separated” after over two years of dating me, and won’t spend holidays with me because he won’t introduce me to his family. I am on another continent right now because the prospect of another holiday without him was to crummy to imagine, so I left on vacation.
Anyway, I sent an apology email for my obscenity this morning and didn’t hear from him all day. We just got off of the phone now. He didn’t email me until 6pm to wish me a Merry Christmas, and his excuse was “We’re just different. I don’t need that stuff.” I think if the person you love DOES need that “stuff” (i.e., love, care, trust,respect), then you go the extra mile to offer it to them. No?
Vixgirl,
I know what it feels like not to be introduced to his family. In 3 years, I never formally met his family or spent any time with them. Yet I kept thinking – it’ll happen soon. It made me wonder – does he even bring me up once in a while? If he did, wouldn’t they want to meet me? Meanwhile, I was constantly asking him to meet mine and he’d always make a lame excuse to avoid it.
Him not introducing you to his family is a red flag.
And yes, if you love someone and you know they need certain “Stuff” – you’d do anything for them. I always thought one day my ex would all of a sudden wake up – and surprise me at the office with flowers in front of everyone, or on my birthday come over to my house extra early and wake me up and smother me with affection. But no – those things never happened. I was living in a dream world.
Get out of your dream world and focus on reality. If it’s not good now, what’s going to change?
Don’t wait for him. Change YOURSELF. Be kind to you and just acknowledge your feelings.
Vixen: he is not going to get divorced and if he does, he will move on to someone else. He makes you lose your temper and scream FU in a phone and then punishes you by not responding to your apology in a timely manner.
This relationship is hollow, full of power struggles and it will only get worse. Let it go, go NC or you will be really messed up worse than you are now…I promise you.
merry xmas to all! i didnt send a text ,becoz i see it now and at peace . in anutshell my ex mm used me as a prop in a unhappy marraige till someone that he did want came along .i have now blocked him on fb as i dont want to self harm( like i couldnt except it ,like i need constant proof hes gone ).i just want to forget he exsists ,this way i can.i never have to hear or see him again . it took for me to nearly lose a family member before xmas to learn who truly loves me and who doesnt. he never ever did . iwish id never gave him satisfaction on sending that text he git shitty withme and it was as ive know always always about him .totally utterly narsistic as long as hes okay . i see him do it friends he uses people for his own ends . he hasnt changed for new girl this character will show itself . me ill have long forgotten him by then . i have felt relief.im tempted now and then to peek but its diff now like ive finalky ,finally excepted it . i have better people to be with my dad .
Merry Christmas. NC 6 months now. Never fell off and besides that i don’t need any repurcussions. Life is so much better not looking back. I will say that I have been getting weird text messages not directly from ex AC number but text messages from some number that I would normally not get a text from. Messages that are weird saying hey My name is ____. Get your prize here from Target. Ok we were last at Target together 6 months ago his trip to see me. Its like whoever this is wants me to get so annoyed just to get a response. I have gotten two text messages like this couple days a part and they included a name only in the second text but both were relating to Target. He’s a hermit who sits on a computer to extreme online gaming ; watches porn; told me he was never good at communication so nothing surprises me. I would never respond anyway way( In disquise or Not). Thanks Natalie.
Dear Awakened, good for you being six months NC. I, too received weird texts hoping for a response! I ignored them. there were plenty, one to his friend about going fishing(!!yes he was fishing), then one meant for a work colleague about an important deadline, then to his sister, his brother and finally one meant for his ex-wife. ALL sent to my phone for a RESPONSE. This happened over a time frame of a month. Didn’t get anything back! Zilch, nothing, last time he yanks my chain…I am free!
Thankful to you Natalie – I needed to hear your words today. When I can see the situation spiritually, I can have peace that me and this person were not meant for each other. We women have this challenge to use our heads to really get to know someone well before our hearts get involved.
Thank you so much Natalie! And Happy Holidays Everyone, you are wonderful!
Lotus-yes, that is key, at Christmas and every other day of the year. Using our heads, boundaries firmly in place, getting to know them first before the sex and imagining too far ahead… One day at a time. This guy I just started dating… Looks good on paper and all, good job (a teacher), dresses nice, attracted to him, I didn’t have sex on 3rd date, and he says, “I’m thinking you’re like a June Cleaver, traditional, never okay to be June!”. I said, I’ll take it as a compliment, rather be called June on a 3rd date thank Snooki” lol. And I was immediately turned off by him. My mother said, “would a man give you something precious and valuable by a 3rd date, like a diamond?” umm.. No! “well, why should you give something valuable and precious?”. Good point. End of. No, I’m no June Cleaver. I have in past relationships had sex too soon, and thought it would be the glue that kept it together. So not true. I hold out with that when dating now… If a guy can’t wait either while getting to know ‘me’, then it’s ‘NEXT’ and I’ve had no disappointments since doing this… I lose nothing and feel bad about nothing.
What a year it’s been!!! Lost an Assclown and gained a lot of self-respect and esteem. Ladies, it’s what Natalies been teaching us all along. If committed and put into practice, one day at a time… You will be un-messable.
Demke,
Good for you! You rock. What an awesome comment from your mother, about the diamond… how true, about needing boundaries, etc. blah blah blah. I can’t believe I have put up with the same “shite” as you lovely brits across the pond would say, for the past year . 5 ish or so, from an AC because I also blame myself… he continually has life crises that make me feel badly if I initiate NC. Am I just looking for an excuse not to do it? Likely. I am uncomfortable in my comfortable, but non- healthy comfort zone? Most definitely. I am on the fence constantly, between the wonderful posts I read here, the friends who still remain in my life and have my back and want me to dump him yesterday, and my own heart and soul which still feels that I am to blame, that somehow because of my “jealousy”, questioning and over-reactions I have created unnecessary drama and caused him as he once said to me, ” To make being truthful difficult” or something to that effect- actually, the words were ” you don’t encourage truthfulness”. I responded- TRUTHFULNESS SHOULD NOT NEED TO BE ENCOURAGED. He continues to contact me and it is the most difficult thing for me to ignore. Several weeks ago, I had my mind made up. I was absolutely going NC. I did not return his call on a Sunday eve. and went to bed. 11:30 pm there was knocking, followed by more knocking, and the next thing I know he is standing in my bedroom questioning why didn’t you call me back?? I was worried sick about you. Don’t you know I care???? He made me feel responsible for his angst, when in reality there have been times in the past where I have called him and he hasn’t returned my calls….. he did not break in to my place, I had inadvertently left the doors unlocked. Two of my friends were horrified. What did I do? OF course, sympathized with him, took the blame, and cuddled until he felt better. Oh. I am wondering if I will ever be able to break out of this unhealthy cycle. I feel sorry for the man ( boy), I know he has all these difficulties at work and in his life, yet those diffculties don’t seem to stop him from continuing other social events, such as going dancing and not including me, when he wants. We had a huge argument on Christmas eve and it was ridiculous. Iknow I need to end the drama and just be done, but it is so hard to just cut him off. Anyone out there, please respond. I need some help with this, with the blaming of myself, etc.
I hope all have had/ are having a very merry holiday.
Blessings
Pandora.
Pandora, you can break out of the cycle. It’s clear that you want to. You obviously don’t have trust in the relationship and without that, there isn’t anything. What, do you think he’s going to spontaneously combust into a guy who values truthfulness enough to not insist that his truthfulness is dependent on your behaviour?
You want someone who shows with their behaviour that they love hanging out with you and want to include you in every aspect of their life.
Just know that it will be very painful for the first while after you break it off, but that you will live through it. It’s trying to avoid pain that’s keeping you stuck.
@Pandora: he leaves you to go dancing but then he walks in, uninvited to your apt; total lack of boundaries on your and his end.
You know what you need to do. A new year awaits or it can be the same as the old one; what is your choice? It is up to you.
“TRUTHFULNESS SHOULD NOT NEED TO BE ENCOURAGED” exactly. You need to be truthful to yourself as well, right?
Good “luck” or should I say, good choice;)?
Dancing Queen, Magnolia:
You are both absolutely spot on.
Yes. Thank you for sharing your insights! They are true and completely resonated with me. Here’s to a new year, with renewed hope in myself,my values and my ability to forge a healthy relationship one day with a healthy individual.
No more toxic drama.
Blessings and Hugs,
Pandora
Just remember – he may have mentioned “June Cleaver”, but clearly, his mind was on “The Beaver”. Regardless of how fabulous you are. When you have hot coacoa later, laugh at the simpleton AC’s so easily revealed to you with your super BR powers.
Lotus that is pretty funny;)
Demke, wow, your MUM is spot on:)what a great comment. We have to value ourselves, and do not allow ACs to persuade us into something, we don’t want!
Demke; what a dork! It is not only the expectation of sex ( like you owe him or something. ick), but also his childish, peevish, immature declaration “Never okay to be June hardy har har”..wtf and who t f does he think he is, stating that, for the rest of us? It is okay to be June by me and I know men who don’t get involved when sex is expected and offered even, on the 3rd date.Some people don’t get involved that easily and I get creeped out about the idea of sleeping with someone that I hardly know.
Seriously a turn off. It reminds me of this younger guy who I stupidly went on a date with years ago. He literally went from one smooch to shoving his hand up my shirt at my car on saying goodbye, saying “nice car” and “I think we both know we have chemistry” and suggesting that he come over that night. On the first date! Like I was so shallow that some stupid car compliment would get me in bed. And he was a medical resident so you would have thought that he would have had some couth.When I detached and declined and skiddadled out of there, he sent me a text “Well I think we have different needs; it probably is just due to you being older than me.” I still wish that I had replied with “No, actually I like sex but your jokes did not make me laugh, I don’t like being dry humped at my car and that really has nothing to do with an age difference.” Ick, glad you dumped that jerk, but really “It is never okay” lmfao!
I gave the gift of BR to a few in need peeps this year!
Happy New Year Natalie and all you wonderful people!
Beth
I just received two calls ,a voicemail, and a text this morning. I’m just at a week of no contact. I felt guilty when I heard him say I could check on him from time to time and read on the text “are you ok?”. Now after reading your post I realize it’s just what they do. It’s like it’s part of their job description to do certain things. Glad I didn’t check. I hope you didn’t either. Really looking forward to a powerful 2013. Thanks everyone I’m starting to get it slowly but surely.
Ayr Tough day for me. Thought it would be over when I didn’t answer three texts. Called and left a message saying he was worried about me and needs to know if I am ok. Practically demanded I call back. Shaky voice, pitiful tone. I know he knows why I didn’t respond. He can’t be that delusional can he? It was hard I have to say because they are so good at playing the pitiful game and he knows intrinsically it against my nature to deliberately cause someone pain unlike him. I’m convinced my ex has strong strong narc tendencies and he probably truly is in pain because he has lost control. I just don’t want to fix him anymore and I want the freedom I have to enjoy my life and very nice guy I am with. He continually sets me back and it has been going on for almost 4 years. The longest I have maintained no contact is 6 months but I am stronger now thanks to BR and other aha moments. I can’t anymore and I don’t want his friendship or anything from him!!! I am resolved! He can call every hospital in NY if need be. I am not answering him and have instructed a few friends he knows the same. He knows damn well why I am not answering and for him to pretend otherwise is just delusional and game playing. Stay Strong! Their games are powerful and they are relentless in their pursuit of control!
Over 2 months since I finally blocked that piece of garbage AC from my life. My beautiful dog died unexpectedly just before Christmas. Can’t tell you the regrets I have. So wrapped,up in him I couldn’t see what was truly important in my life. One of the hardest lessons I’ve ever learned. Rest in peace sweet baby!
Finally So sorry about your beautiful baby. May he RIP and may you get peace in your life for 2013
I hope you have the most blessed holidays! I am truly grateful for your posts. They have greatly increased my understanding of unavailable relationships, as well as contributed to my personal growth. Thanks for sharing you feelings, thoughts, stories, and for being authentic. I think God allows us to go through struggles so we can help others, and you do that daily. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! <3
Thank you for the kick butt advice all through out the year…best wishes to you and your family.
I didn’t “send that text” but HE did…argh! Trying be strong in aftermath.
Beth
What you’ve described sounds so familiar already they must have gone to the same school for AC’s. Yes we can do it! Time to heal ourselves.
Believe me I know all about the pity calls, a couple from the ER, but I’m finally done. As you said don’t even consider a friendship because they can’t or won’t be true friends. So it may feel bad now but the pay off later will sooooo sweet. See you at the finish line!
Ayr Yes we can! I love it!! I feel happy to see the finish line in sight. Yes they went to the same school. It appears so many of them go to that school. lol Pay off is near and I already feel so much better that I didn’t fall for the “poor pitiful me” act for the 10th time. He played that broken record one time too many ๐
Have a fantastic New Year everyone ๐
And Nat, thanks for the p/s which made me laugh.
Merry Christmas, Natalie – hope you had a great Christmas Day with your family. Thanks for giving me the tools to get to a place where I am genuinely grateful for what I have with my own family – I feel very lucky this Xmas. Mwah! Mwah!
Dear Natalie, Happy Holidays! Read your blog entry again today – thanks for keeping me strong! No contact – thanks to you, I keep stopping myself before I do something or say/text/call when I will regret it later. Every time I stop myself and think ‘no contact’. It’s simple. I can breathe for a few hours and sleep. Then wake up ahead.
Happy holidays to everyone on BR!
Natalie, I hope you and yours are enjoying a peaceful Christmas. Thank you for helping me. Thank you for never giving up. With gratitude and love from Fearless x
Happy Holidays Fearless…good to hear from you and I hope you are doing well.
XXOO
Runner,
I am okay – hope same with you. Wishing you the best of everything x
Happy Holidays to you, too,Fearless,
Your previous advice still echos in my brain these days. Glad to hear you are doing well. Love, Learner xo
Merry xmas to you Nat & yr beautiful children! Sorry I can’t say that with a smile. I dug a hole under the bed in Cc’s genie bottle all the way to China & have been kidnapped by life wrecking terrorists! Unfortunately, there is no-one to pay my ransom so now I’m existing on crumbs of Tim Tam biscuits that Cc drops down the hole to me. Cc, I’m starving! Please drop me some more crumbs & maybe some left over Xmas pudding too! Thankyou! Xx
Still sending you loads of love and positive thoughts Teach. Hope you are OK?
I’m glad you commented, Teachable, even if things are still at a low point for you. On other post, you mentioned something about possibly not having a place to live? I can’t remember, exactly, but I said some prayers for you. Even if things aren’t well with you, I hope you’re at least safe.
I hope everyone had a beautiful Christmas. Mine was wonderful with my kids. We had together time that I haven’t had in awhile.
But then comes the time when they must go and see their dad and their Mum is left with quiet house. My littlest one is gone until January and I miss her.
I’m wondering if there is any hope at this point for me if I haven’t gotten over the ex husband yet and it’s just over 3 years since we split up. He is engaged to be married. Meanwhile, I am having vivid dreams in my sleep that we are getting back together. UGH! Sigh.
I am very self reliant and independent, I take care of myself and take myself to wonderful places, I date and have lots of friends and I have a great job to keep me busy but I’m having trouble with getting past the pain of losing him. Anyone out there who knows other ways to help with the moving on process?
Jule. I have found NC is the biggest asset on letting go. Obviously that is a tough one for your situation. Grieving the loss is also neccesary. Finding peace with the end was a long process for me. Far too long but everyone is different in how they process the loss. I found Nat’s book & this blog as priceless in my recovery. I have a list of favorite articles on my computer & when I start feeling blah or start asking why this or that I refer to one of them & they give me clarity or wisdom. Below is one of my favorites of all time. I hope it post right & its OK to share with you. If not they can delete it off of my post but it helps me somedays. The holidays were better this year than last for me but it just stirs things up for me… Come here often& take one day at a time.. U are not alone ๐
Thank you Kit Kat! I will read it for sure. Thanks so much.
jule, are you seeing a therapist? i hate to put time frames on healing, but if you’ve been in pain for 3 years, i suggest you seek help. you don’t need to be in this pain.
Hey Jule,
It sounds like you are still a bit in denial somewhere; what about a ritual to let him go? Something like writing down all your thoughts and feelings and then taking the paper and going to a beach or something, lighting it on fire and letting the ashes disperse it. It helped me, more than just the unsent letter did. Also getting rid of all the pics etc. Your kids can keep them in their rooms but you don’t want reminders in your house.
It just seems like the dreams are a way to hold on; he is in love and he has moved on. I know that that hurts, but you need to look that in the face and really face it. No denial. Hugs:(
DancingQueen… I, like you, had a burning ceremony where I took all the cards he had given me over the relationshit & read each one out loud & threw it into the fire & watched it burn.. It was like a signal to my brain that what was written in those cards was all bullcrap/lies.
Kit-Kat, awesome. There is definitely something nice about seeing it go up in the air and fly away.
I felt the same way about all the crap that my heinous ex left at my house, as he was always buying me stuff to show how impressive HE was. Every gift, except for one I really liked, was packed in the Goodwill bag and driven to Goodwill for a deserving poor person. This was even better than E-Bay considering that he was a rich snob and liked to cut down the poor; new sneakers, meet their new owner!
hi, hope everyone had a good christmas. was blessed to be with my family. left town so the ohysical separation from the ex was good. but i knew i was as fragile as a balloon. it only took one misunderstanding with my mom for it to pop. cried for 45 minutes straight. went through alot of self pity and rejection in my head that i have been avoiding. still no contact 19 days. he didn’t text on christmas. he’s still on a dating site- made the mistake of looking at his profile and reading into everything. i know who he is but like NML says i don’t need to get a PhD in him and i dont need to look at his actions as having anything to do with me anymore. i KNOW but i still miss him and want the sick validation. trying to take it one day at a time. count my blessings. he would have cheated, divorced me, been a bad father and partner. good riddance. i KNOW it but i haven’t let go completely. i pray for the release and the next chapter of my life to begin. i KNOW i am sabotaging myself, my work, my other relationships. i have to focus on the good in my life. i’m trying.
my best wishes to you all.
Getting there,
Yes, it’s awful how fragile we can feel while trying to recover from relationships with EUMs. I can relate to your reaction to your mum’s misunderstanding – I had a similar episode with my daughter on Christmas Day. We are allowed to feel fragile for a while. You are only at 19 days NC, which is early days. Please be gentle with yourself and allow yourself some compassion.
Yesterday I reached the 6 month NC mark, and I am still working on letting go completely. I no longer look at any social media where there may be evidence of him. I have deleted all contacts and emails to do with him (except for 2 work emails, which I may delete today anyway!) AND, to mark the half-year NC anniversary, I am giving the hoodie he gave me last Christmas to charity although its so comfy. I don’t need the reminder of him! I suggest you do something similar to get even more distance from your EUM. Strength and hugs to you xo
Learner you are right to get rid of the hoodie. However, I kept this cute shirt that he gave me. Still two years later it is one of the cutest things I own. I wear it on 2nd dates when I like the guy and am feeling flirty and want to look pretty; it sounds dumb but it is like this piece of armor; it makes me look so cute and it makes me feel resiliant that some jerk gave it to me, and I am using it, to meet someone nice:)
Happy holidays, everyone! Natalie, I love the picture and I love your blog. It gives me the hope and confidence that I’ll find someone who respects me and loves me for me. Even if I don’t find that special someone, ever, there are still things to be happy for, like family, friends, colleagues, this blog, and more importantly… myself.
dancingqueen,
I like your “gift-from-ex-as-armour” idea! Why not wear it if it helps you to feel resilient? With the hoodie, my ex bought us matching ones, and told me to think of him hugging me when I wore it. Not so empowering or healthy. But not my concern anymore – it’s in a big bag waiting to be given away tomorrow ๐ Cheers!
Thanks learner. I’m going to start with emails this weekend. My sister suggested the same thing- give his gifts to charity. Thought I could handle seeing the gifts and his emails and his old texts- they just reinforce the illusion I had. Will start with some emails! Thanks for the encouragement. My best to you.
getting there,
It’s great to hear you are planning to start gaining more distance by getting rid of gifts and emails. You are right – seeing them can reinforce the illusion, and dredge up old feelings. Getting rid of his stuff was hard at first, but now (six months later), it’s almost fun! Time to start the next chapter of our lives, and as I read on facebook today (I think it was facebook), we can’t start the next chapter of our lives when we keep re-reading the last one. NEXT!!!
Give Thanks And Praises. Dem babies are sweet like honey. Peace and light.
Merry Christmas and Thank you. Thank you for discussing families of origin…for those like me who did not experience boundaries your work is very important in teaching and constantly reinforcing what they are…the purpose and how to use them and the benefits..which may not be seen at the point of enforcement but are felt within our spirit. Please continue to write about boundaries. Thank you.
Happy Holiday Everyone! This is my first time commenting but I have been reading Natalie’s posts and the comments for nearly 2 months now after a breakup. This site is great and I visit it just about everyday. It’s the only thing that keeps me going. Thank you for your advise and wisdom. It has been a big help to me!
Kit-Kat … thanks for sharing that website. I liked the part about “muzzle your child”. My last two ACs used the children as excuses. I walked around on eggshells with my boys and they paid the price. Thank goodness when it was so in my face, I finally recognized it and could correct it. My poor kids. Ugh. Very shaming for me, but now I recognize where it comes from and I’ll NEVER put the kids through it again.
Couldn’t have done it without you! It’s been a really long and hard road but I’m finally on my way to a good place. There is so much truth in the “No Contact” rule that I “get it”. And I really appreciate all the letters from others because I realize that I’m not the only one it that boat! That there are a lot of great women out there who want and deserve so much better! This site has been a life line of respect, learning, healing and helping each other. Thank you.
i have gone a week with out self harming and i feel soooooooo much better . the urge to look still there but i dont . i feel the urge to smile and ive spent qualuty tine with my mum and dad and got loads done . usually id been away with the faries going over it abd feeling bitterness and anger . no im going to channel that into living my life how i want ! happy new yr to you all and i hope you all find peace and happiness.x
Hugs and thanks to you Natalie and everyone on BR. I had the best Christmas ever.I spent it with my family and they are still the same people they always were, parents who taught me many wrong things, but I`m different. I didn`t get overwhelmed, I didn`t overgive, I didn`t feel twelve, I wasn`t a doormat pleaser and I didn`t let other people`s drama affect me.I made space for me, a person with boundaries and it let me appreciate the good things about them and disengage from the bad.I didn`t make their problems my problems.I feel they appreciate me more. I cannot get over how amazing this feels, a few months ago I was a wreck, shadow of a person. Natalie, you are a genius and deserve a Nobel Peace Prize for changing my world! Best wishes to everyone who comments on here, you have been my lifeline.x
Sushi,
I can so relate. It’s a great feeling to be able to experience love for one’s family without at the same time getting drawn back into unhealthy behaviour or taking on problems that aren’t ours anymore.
I can honestly say now that I could introduce my family to a new partner and speak of them with respect and love. No doubt any partner of mine would come to make their own relationships and judgements about them, and would support me in keeping a relationship with them while maintaining boundaries. I know now that any new boyfriend of mine will not hear, like all my previous boyfriends have, sad/angry/whining/blaming rants about everything they’ve done wrong and all my poor inheritances.
I feel I have become a person who can and has stepped away from patterns that don’t have to stay in my world, and those that linger, well, they linger and I work on them. Telling my folks all about themselves is done, though at the same time, when they cross boundaries, I let them know immediately and ride through any “parental disapproval” retaliation.
I imagine that dealing with this major aspect of life happiness has got to make me easier to be around. Not that I did it for anyone else but me. Still, becoming happier and easier to get close to has to be a step forward in building better relationships.
Thanks for sharing a similar step on the BR journey!
Hi Magnolia,
absolutely. You know how we can`t right the wrongs of the past trying to extract the love that we missed in childhoods from EUMs? What you just described is the way forward, like a new lesson in relationships to take with us into our future, re-learning of ourselves and other people. This New Year will be so good, my best wishes to you.
Merry Xmas/Happy Holidays everyone; aside from one small blip, (with my bro trying to wind me up and me giving him what he wanted for about 5 minutes before I figured it out, lol) the family visit to half my family was a success. Even got through a phone call with my Dad with grace. This website had much to do with that new-found equanimity.
Looking forward to a new year:)!
Lilly, Lillia, Victorious, and of course Teach ;),
(((HUGS ALL OF YOU LOVELY WOMEN FIERCELY)))
You guys are just lucky that I’m not there in person with each and every one of you, else I would TACKLE you guys with love, lol! Thanks so much for your kind words, well wishes, compassion, and hugs. And right back atcha all. I hope you all spent your recent days getting loved up by the family and friends who deserve you! Whether that happened for you or not, just know that you DESERVE THAT and that each of you has inspired me on this website.
Teach, honey, here’s an extra hug for you, fellow toughie. ((((Hugs Teach))) Please keep us posted. Keep warm, my dear.
Revolution,
In the midst of all this grief many of your comments made me spontaneously laugh out loud which was a great reminder that life goes on and Iโm going to be ok. Priceless! Much love and huge hugs to you too Rev, xxx.
Lilly, your comment brought tears to my eyes. What a compliment. I’m so glad (and humbled) that I had a small part in making your grief lighter. And you’re right, honey. It does go on. That’s the beauty of life. ๐
Thanks Revvie. Hugs bk!! Can you please drop me down some perfume lovie? Gettin a bit stinkie down here! lol Merry Xmas too, to all the WONDERFUL ladies, chickie babes, builder wimmins, academic rockers, dancin mumma’s, single lasses, & gorgeous gals of ALL persuasions on BR who have shown me such great kindness in my time at BR. You all ROCK. I’m still not at all myself & stuck in this sh*tty hole, the days are bleak, very, very bleak, & apart from proffessional support I’ve become a total recluse (while there’s still a roof over my head to hide under!) If the best I can do right now, is stick close to my Dr, get extra medical help, register for (choke, splutter) welfare, & don’t do any nuts (which I never have but boy is it tempting) that will have to do. This is my WORST xmas ever. However, seeing others grow & get stronger here on BR is giving me hope. Luv to all. x
Teach! You’re here!! Yay! Of course, honey, I’ll drop some Chanel No. 5 or Poison (lol) or whatever else kind of perfume you like, love. Just say the word, m’dear. Honey, I know you’re going through a “dark night of the soul” kind of thing right now. There’s nothing I can say, but only that I’m SO GLAD you commented and are keeping us informed. I was thinking about you, and I know I’m not alone. And good on you for asking for help.
Dancingqueen, lmao!! Yep. “Dork” pretty much sums it up with that one. Oh… And come to find out via a girlfriend of mine… She realized that me, and her other girlfriend… Were talking about the same guy to her! This other girl has been dating him for 2 months, I was dating him for a month. He did not fit the the player profile, in his 40’s, school teacher, devoted father of 3. Unbelievable. All the while telling me he “doesn’t believe in dating more than one at a time, and wanted to be exclusive w me” when he was w someone else. So, my girl told the other girl, lmao!
I have BR to thank… I used my head, while still having fun, and paid attention on how he treated me, what he was like, etc… Never once did I worry if he liked me. I noticed some red flags… And hightailed it outta there, no disappointments. I felt empowered. Because I didn’t do anything I didn’t want to, and I’ve held up my standards completely, with others I’ve recently dated as well. Feels awesome. If only I felt this secure with myself years ago!
And just like that little jerk who kinda insulted you in your car cause u wouldn’t give it up, being called “June Cleaver” was my insult. Can’t believe these men. They don’t get what they want so they have to make little digs.
BR strong!