I asked the boyf recently if he had ever been one of those guys that many of you are all too familiar with that just wouldn’t stop creeping his way around an ex even though the relationship had ended. He looked at me blankly for a moment and admitted that once he had called a girl a few times after she had ended it with him because she felt things weren’t working. I asked why he’d been calling and he said that he thought that maybe with a bit of time she would have had a think through and reconsidered. I was like ‘Please tell me you weren’t one of those guys I write about being an assclown and try to weasel your way back in without anything to offer?! How long did this go on for?’ I demanded.
‘Oh, only a week or two!’ he said looking worried. ‘Is that wrong?!’
I felt so relieved you would not believe it!
‘Why did you stop calling her?’
‘Jesus Nat! – I do have my pride you know!’
It’s not that he hadn’t liked her – he had – but he recognised that something wasn’t right if she wanted out and wasn’t interested in getting back together, and that he’d rather be with someone who wanted him.
This made me realise how little pride Mr Unavailables and assclowns have because in spite of the reasons why they’ve been told to ‘step’, not only do they keep pestering you when you cut contact with them, but they pursue with nothing new to offer.
As seen in my last post about when Mr Unavailables and assclowns use ridiculous statements to justify their behaviour, many of them use the same lines over and over and over again, and we buy into them.
My mum used to say ‘Pride comes before a fall’, but there’s such a thing as having no pride and this is where we have to step in ourselves and draw a line. There has to be a pride line.
He may have no pride or very little, but you need to, otherwise you will engage in behaviour that will demean and even humiliate you at times, because you’re in a dynamic with someone where there are no boundaries and no sense of reality, either about themselves, relationships, or you.
Their lack of empathy and their disconnection from themselves means that when they come a calling yet again, they don’t think, ‘God, if I had any sense of pride about me, I’d leave her alone because it’d be embarrassing if she tells me to go and take a run and jump’.
They’re so focused on what’s potentially in it for them – an ego stroke/sex/shoulder to whine on (or all three) and they’re so reactive and in the moment, that they not only fail to consider the wider implications or the consequences, but they don’t consider your feelings or how this makes them look – like a desperate, chance taking guy.
There’s another reason though why they have no pride – because they think you don’t either.
This is why it’s important to recognise the importance of not only enforcing your boundaries, but ending it, and even cutting contact if you need to, because these are the first signs and the most meaningful ones, that these guys receive that let them know that actually, one of you has pride, and that’s you.
Often when we pursue them, whether it’s because they’ve started blowing lukewarm or cold on us, or because we’re panicking about the fact that we’re ending it, we chase the feeling with them and react to it, and potentially end up, at best, hurting ourselves and at it’s worst, eradicating our sense of self, and embarrassing or even humiliating ourselves at times because we no longer have a line to draw that says ‘Woah, hold up a fricking second now! Have you just lost your mind?!’
This is why so many women who are trying to get over being with Mr Unavailables and assclowns struggle is because they rationalise what they’re doing so that they can keep doing it, or recognise what they’re doing and feel so uncomfortable with it that they feel shamed and immobile.
I’ve had women email me about how they gave in and called/texted/emailed/sent a message in a bottle even though they hadn’t heard jack from him since things had ended, and that’s the ‘nice’ stuff.
There’s tales of turning up at the bar where they hang, at work, crying on their doorstep, begging them to come back, taking them back again and again no matter how badly he crosses the boundaries, being relegated to The Other Woman once or twice removed, and all sorts.
We can’t share an absence of pride with these guys – we have to step outside of the comfort zone created with these guys, grow our proverbial backbone and have some pride.
Much like how we choose men that reflect the things that we believe about ourselves, love, and relationships, if we don’t have pride, they will feel okay to be shameless.
The unfortunate thing though is that as many of us can attest to, as these guys just don’t care and are so disconnected, they don’t recognise their lack of pride, but we do and get left with the pain and shame.
You have to drop them and their baggage and surround yourself with people who allow you to love yourself and act with dignity and a reasonable sense of pride – this is not these guys.
At some point, you have to say ‘Enough’ and draw a line – when will you be drawing yours?
Your thoughts?
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My assclown ex broke up with me in the worst possible way, right before a major surgery too etc. he tried to say hi at the office party (yes, terrible, we work together) and annoyed the crap out of me. I caught him privately in his office after that, and called him out on the cheating and disrespect he had shown me. i told him i didn’t know how he lived with himself, slapped him and threw my glass of (red) wine in his face
That is true. It’s amazing how I was able to break the cycle from unavailables with just self reflection, healing and sites like these because when that same unavailable contacts you and you see the truth; you see that they have nothing to offer – therefore you have no interest in them; and even feel sorta bad they are able to be so low. Not even that they have nothing to offer; like you said they are so distorted and disillusioned by reality.
See, I’ve always viewed this situation from the glass half full perspective…their full of themselves, and it’s not pride they lack, but shame.
Only a person with absolutely no sense of shame would have the audacity to come sniffing around with nothing to offer after exhibiting such outrageously selfish behavior these assclowns engage in.
To paraphrase Euripides’ Medea, a lack of shame is the greatest illness.
I meant “they’re” in line 2!. I wish we could edit 🙁
This is the issue I have, I work with my Ex.
This guy was very hot and cold, we dated for around 16 months. It was him who designs a 5 year plan for us, talked about moving out, and had a savings account together, right down to what dog we would buy. He would go through these off stages where if we had an issue, just like most normal relationships do, rather then deal with it. He would clam up; go cold from days to weeks. Leaving me frantic and anxious. When he would come out of his cave he would be back to buying stuff for when we move out and everything would be fine again. So it was either all bad from his perspective or not feeling sure and usually over nothing or all great and im very sure of you/us. Very up and down. It got worse towards the end and I even said, perhaps you need to leave the relationship? He begged me to hold on, that he was still in love and was just going through something. As a last ditch effort to help us, I suggested a break so that he could work some stuff out, with in two days he went completely cold, would not even look at me at work. Then I saw my pictures come down off his desk and I was deleted from his Google calendar, that’s kinda how I found out it, was over. I was devastated. I called him and asked him to tell me and that this was causing me some anxiety and mental unrest, rather then put me out of my misery straight away, he chose to fix his computer for 5 hours then come by to say ITS OVER! No real explanation just rattled off some stuff and I was too heartbroken to hear it. Then he said, I want us to continue being best friends? I tried for awhile but realised that I was getting confused, mixed messages and he was still running hot and cold! Finally after he came to my house and thought it was fine to speak to me like dirt. I thought this is my limit. I was exhausted and realised all my time and energy was going into maintaining a friendship with someone I was in love with who felt so little about me and how all this had affected me. In return I got confusion, upset and treated rudely. I was his best friend one minute then he would not even acknowledge me for days. So I stopped contact about 6 weeks ago, I didn’t even bother to tell him why. He went to a mutual friend to find out, my friend told him she needs space and he agreed. However in two weeks ive received 3 emails, one saying I know u need space and I agree and you’re often in my thoughts, next one was cold and rude, the next one was back to Mr. nice guy saying he could cope with not talking at work. I’ve ignored them all. He is really acting out in many ways, why? Shouldn’t he be finally happy that im no longer in his life. I know it must suck for him that I now how some power back for cutting all ties and he can no longer keep me on ice. I won’t reply and hopefully he will burn out. I think its unacceptable to go from being extremely close, I’m talking contact from 1st thing in the morning to we both went to bed everyday, every weekend together, lunch together everyday, being a huge part of his family events and working towards moving out to its over lets be friends and expect me to be o.k with it.
I was a woman who had no pride and for the last 2yrs was the fallback girl. NML you’re right I felt humiliated, embarrassed, demeaned and I thought I was going crazy at times. Thankfully I found this site and I came to my senses. 46 days with NC !!!!
Pride is important. It shows that we are way way better than the assclowns ever gave us credit for – that we care about and love ourselves and know we are worthy of respect and love. It is the ultimate rebuttal to the disgraceful, reprehensible, abhorrrent ways we have been treated by assclowns. In my case the assclown is so extreme that he probably doesn’t notice or understand that he and his pathetic offer of friendship (‘we have a great cerebral relationship but I dont feel anything for you emotionally or romantically, but the friendship is GREAT!) have been rejected by a woman who has too much proud to waste one more keystroke of text or email on him. Yes, I’ve wanted to, and I have a burning desire to tell him in fifty different languages how much contempt I hold him in. But it would be a waste and demean me in my own eyes. Pride! Is good.
The person I surrounded myself for love and acceptance was my best friend, who now is the TUB…she is living with him. I have run the gamut from anguish, anger, apathy, anguish, anger, apathy, She is also my COWORKER and sits next to me. Apparently they were getting close while he and I were still together. I have broken the no contact rules and yes, felt humiliated and ashamed of myself for doing so. The only other people I know tell me to “get over it”, “move on” “forget it”. It’s too new and too searing for me to reach that point yet. The ONE person I turned to for the last 5 years for support and love while I lived with Assclown and his addictions, was her. Now she and he are “we.”
I do think these guys are full of themselves, but, at the same time, I can’t help but see that as some kind of facade that masks the fact that they really do lack pride and self-respect. After all, in order to treat people as poorly as they do, they have to be really scared, really insecure and emotionally stunted individuals. There’s no way around this. I mean, this would have fit in perfectly with NML’s last post, but the guy I was “with” (6 month long-distance, non-sexual relationship, but we talked everyday, sometimes even twice a day and things were both said and done that went beyond the call of normal friendship-ial duty), when I wanted to visit and take our relationship to the next level, not only did he feel comfortable telling me that such a thing was “impossible, impractical and just another im-word”, but also that he had never felt a strong attraction to my “unreal calves” and that he’d prefer that we remain friends. When I said that I couldn’t continue in the way we were if things weren’t going to move forward, his attempt to persuade me that I was making a mistake included his telling me that, “You’d still enjoy talking to me, even if I were a eunuch. Why does everything have to go sexual/romantic?” All I have to say is that that pretty much summed everything up. No hot-blooded, “normal” guy would ever compare himself to a eunuch. It’s highly absurd and totally emasculating. Only a person devoid of both shame and pride could ever say such a thing.
When I had no pride, I constantly abased myself and settled for crumbs and basically let myself get treated like total crap and still couldn’t let go. I always thought HE was the source of my only happiness. Boundaries ? Didn’t have any, let alone really have any desire to enforce any, because that meant he might think I was demanding or pushy.
Now that I know what self-esteem looks and feels like, and I put it into action, things are different. It’s not that I have a boyfriend yet — I don’t — it’s that when a guy comes along basically offering me nothing and expecting me to jump because he’s snapped his fingers — I walk away without a second thought. I have NO problems saying “no” and meaning it — and am under no illusions that this guy is a prize just because he tells me he is, or tells me his friends say he is.
The end result is, I don’t hurt anymore because I don’t do the things that are self-destructive. I do the things that support me.
My line in the sand is a firm one now. Either someone who is available, and compatible with me in the things I believe in my gut are important – honesty, committment, reliability, responsibility, integrity, kindness and loyalty — and then I will be interested — and not before.
Funny – the guys I USED to like that I thought were so hot ? They’d never make it past a third date with me now. And they’d NEVER be able to break my heart. After two examples of bad behavior from them, I’d be gone.
It’s not being alone that’s painful — it’s being lonley. And being with an assclown is lonely.
.-= Loving Annie´s last blog ..Renninger, Owens, Griswald and Richards =-.
Wow! When you said (Trinity) that you were in love with someone that felt so little about you and how it had all affected you, I about fell off the couch! I have said that to my EUM so many times,…it felt strange to read how someone felt the same way….it makes you feel badly about yourself…and then you keep looking for answers from the jerk….No contact is definitely the way to go!
So timely this post I currently feel that humiliated that I cry everytime I think of what he has done.
Story goes I cut off contact with my ex eum of two years in March after catching him sleeping, texting creeping with another woman. Went on Holiday in June and met a really nice man who had just left his wife as she was cheating on her. However we had 2 really good months off seeing each other. When my ex heard I was happyily with another man he informed a friend he loved me (when he was very drunk) she I believe gave him my phone number and the texting and witheld calling started not to get back with me just for me to know he was still there in the background. All the while he had this other woman (bar whore) whom he meets and shags on a Friday and Saturday. So I split with the nice guy possibly due to my baggage that I carried into the relationship from being with my ex eum (insecurity, jelousy, paranoia). And when feeling very very low after the split with the good guy I ultimatley started texting my ex eum. Very very bad idea I know.
So in my head (not his) I was back with him as from September this year. He then took ill with his appendix and went into hospital late september. I visited him everyday for three weeks along with his mother who sat beside me (he lives with her and he is 41 years old)!!!! it was his birthday on 7th Novembver and I informed him his one and only favourite band was doing a concert in late November (last Tuesday). He told me to buy tickets and we would go. I now realise he kept me sweet until the concert however still done his disappearing trick on a Friday and Saturday night (he was sleeping with the bar whore). How fricking stupid and humiliated do I feel now as Friday night I asked if he was coming to mine he said yes in a text. at 1.30am sat morn he still hadnt come so for the first time on a Friday night I rang him and she answered said hello and put the phone down on me. Feel totally humiliated but on the morning changed my number and thought that is it draw the line. Now I know I should have eneded it weeks before when all this Friday night carry on started.
This absolute crazyness just has to stop he has ridiculed me and I really do not know how to recover from it. The only consolation is that this woman is not getting anything great either as he is so emotionally disconnected from himself that he believes the world revolves around him. For the last three weeks even when I was with him I was crying I even cried at the concert as I was desperatley unhappy. I knew he was cheating and continued as I rationalised that because I handt caught him actually in the act it wasnt happening oh how very stupid.
At least I never continued it over Christmas and my birthday which is a week before xmas as for the last two years he has toatlly ruined these celebrations for me. No presents for me and expects me to buy him presents. What a loser. Anyway he has not even been round as he knows he has been caught red handed. But I am sure when he finds I am happily getting on with my life or find someone new he will come sniffing.
Wish I had never gone back for this last time and if that is my only advice ladies it is to never never go back as the never change. As my friend says you can’t polish a turd!
I think EMU have a cheek to text you. I ended it as got sick of tired of being used and thrown breadcrumbs. I told him not to text or see me again ok for 3 weeks then he popped up and I caved in and then text back. Then as he knew I would reply he started once a week texting I thought he was trying to make an effort but they were just pointless text’s asking about a job interview I was going for and then just saying I just hope your ok then something just came to me why am I reply to texts that mean nothing just trying to keep a foot hold in my life he was always controlling! what gives him the right to he sure dont tell me what on earth he is up to which involves chatting other girls up online whilst texting me enough is enough I do value myself he brought nothing to my life only stress upset and heartbreak lost 2 stone in weight though the stress! why on earth am I entertaining him at all. He text again and I just pressed delete and boy what a great feeling it is give’s you a buzz I am feeling back to my old self as more day’s past everybody has noticed the differance even out at the weekend got more attention from guy’s as more happy and myself that EMU has finally gone from my mind just so mad at myself for letting him effect me so much no more onward and upwards!
I have maintained no contact for over 5 months. It is getting easier, as time passes I look at him more objectively. I still want to contact him, but I won’t. I told him it was over, and if I were to contact him it would be too much of a blow to my pride. I will not put up with disrespect, I don’t care how much I love him.
although i read your ebook i can’t let him go. at the moment we trying to be friends but still fighting. i feel lost..
I have always thought there is a difference between being proud and having pride. I know men who are very proud of their appearance, their reputation etc. but will use a woman, to whatever extent they can because they have no pride.
Mal….I felt like you did for a very long time and no matter how hard I tried, noticed I said I not we, I came to realize I just couldn’t be friends with him. Its a process, not something that happens over night. Try no contact for a day then give it another day, it does get easier but it is a long road to hoe. Not something for the faint of heart.
NC lets you get a new perspective, lets you clear the air and see your relationship in a new light. If you’re friends now you’ll still be friends, a little time apart shouldn’t make a difference. I finally asked myself what is it I really wanted. I realized I wanted the man I fell in love with but he didn’t exsist anymore. He had become someone I didn’t recognize and someone I didn’t even like. You can love someone but if you don’t like them, don’t like who they are inside its a sign. It was very painful to admit because that meant letting go, not something I wanted to do but it became necessary for my emotional well being.
There are lots and lots of great articles on this site, try to read at least one a day. That’s what I did and it really helped in the beginning and anytime I’m feeling down.
I too am struggling with letting go-I guess I have no pride-or maybe I’m just sado masochistic. I hurt so much and keep going back for more with the same results.
I am in NC for almost a 2 months now, we break up after he tried to be “just friends” all the ladies who are confused and feel canot let anyone go, belive me once you have NC for a month you will see the clear picture of him.
It took me awhile to understand the concept that – they have to bring something to the table! Meaning it has to be give and take – not in the sense that I take their bullshit, I give back love, understanding until I lose my mind. They should want to offer something like honesty, communication, support, and the capacity for emotional growth.
Man, when you lack self esteem, the most basic aspects of a healthy relationship have to be programmed into one’s self.
Yikes!
Oh Natalie, you are spot on again!!! My EUM dont have pride at all, after his ASclowny behaviour, I cut with him all contact, and he came back again… I dont probably have a pride too, as I keep taking him back, when I learn???
Phyllis, I so agree with you. I used to confuse “pride” with “arrogance” and I think I still do and would like to know the difference. These a**clowns are too proud to make contact or too arrogant to make contact. I realize it doesn’t matter which one it is, but can’t help to wonder which one it is, really.
Mine told me once that I attacked his Integrity – after I didn’t play along with his sh*t. We had an “argument” and I left his place very upset,went home and told myself: WTF just happened to you?could not sleep that night and found out the next day that he watched a movie, went to eat and tried to call me at 11PM, he was fine!!! what the hell was wrong with me?? I was asleep at 11pm while he was “fine” – he slept that night before just fine, because he doesn’t have a problem, right??/ – I didn’t sleep. I am glad that I slept thru his call that night, because I know he was not sober when he called me and sometimes I wish that I would have taking his call at this moment and it would have shorten the BS.
Yes, some are very proud of their appearance and their reputation, but I also belive (know) it is a facade!!!!
I know that from my ex-husband, he is all about the “facade” but can’t back up ANYTHING beyond that Facade, he can’t, because there is not anything else. I know that and I am trying very hard in my “dating world” to apply what I know and it is so hard.
And – as long as they find people – and they will – that buy their BS-they are just fine!!!!
Sorry for the rant, but I don’t feel that they ever think about pride, they think what they can get from you, they will try to get from you what they can, but I don’t think for a minute they are thinking about pride at all or think that you don’t have any pride – in my book that is giving them way too much credit for thinking!!
But, WE should have the pride – in my case it was total embarrassement that would keep me from ever contacting him, but I don’t think these a**holes think about pride. If they would, then pride would set in and you would never hear from these idiots.
So, it is up to us women to make a good choice.
I have learned what to look for and what to stay away from and I have still some people tell me – including my brothers – that if I would not be so proud I would have a man by now. Go figure.
So, I am at peace with myself and live my life, I am busy with fulltime work, two great Teenagers, one in College, one in High School, I am living in a foreign country – so that is all I can do and the next good “advice” I am getting from one of my friends that are excactly doing what I am trying NOT to do – be my guest – I don’t care, can I puke?
NML. I know you get a lot of requests and I love your posts.
How do you handle (I know I don’t have to handle, really) people’s comments – doesn’t matter if it is the neighbour, friends, co-workers or anybody – how can I avoid explaining what I am doing without losing friends? I don’t have a problem losing friends, because real friends you are not losing ever – but I am getting “tired” to explain the BS so I pull back from people, because I don’t want to explain myself over and over why I cut contact and so on. I know that people look at me “wierd” for not talking to certain “people” and in order to not feel like the “outcast”
I just pull back completly.
I am sorry, I should be at a better place by now – and the ‘funny” thing is that I learned about my a**hole exhusband and the *hole “Date” at the same time.
Live and learn…
I just discovered this site while I was searching for info about how I can stop myself from going back to a guy that was my boyfriend in the very beginning of the “relationship” but has been hot and cold, mostly cold, for 10 years. Yes, 10 years. I know I have a lot of work to do emotionally.
Regarding pride, though not the point of the article, I think I convince myself that I have pride because I never contact him. I guess this makes me feel like I have some control over the situation.
Two years ago, I told him I was “letting him off the hook,” that I couldn’t stand his unavailability anymore, and that there would be no way I could be friends. He texted me 6 mos later and we’ve slowly gone back to hooking up once a month.
Does he get a feeling of pride from making a girl do something he knows she doesn’t want to do? i.e., since I told him flat out, he is aware that I don’t want a weird non-relationship thing.
This article is helpful, makes me think rationally…
I do believe that there is a total feeling of pride on the part of these creepy guys who feel a sense of power from it all. I think that not commiting your whole self to someone while letting them believe that you are and playing an emotional game, is a terrible thing to do to anyone. I didn’t know the degree of selfishness a person could posess until I met up with my unavailable. It’s extremely hurtful behavoir and zaps you of your beliefe in the values that you once held dear. I hope that you find your way to a better relationship.
.-= Melodie´s last blog ..By: angie =-.
Thank you for your thoughts Melodie dear. I am learning valuable things on this site and I hope everyone else is, too. Ultimately, I know I am responsible for my behavior, for setting boundaries that dissolve 6 mos after setting them, etc. My real issue is that I don’t believe any man will commit to me completely. To be 100% honest w/you and w/myself, I believe men inherently are cheaters. Even if they don’t physically cheat, I think they want to cheat or think about it because they get bored in relationships. This is my belief and I need to work on changing it because there are good men out there and the situation isn’t hopeless.
This site is a revalation to me. I realise for that for a long time now I have had no boundries, no self-worth, dignity or pride. I have allowed a man into my life who has no respect for anybody or anything and has a life without any direction. The relationship (if that is what you can call it) has been filled with drama. Everytime when he has ended things (which he did frequently), I have done everything I can to lure him back which usually involves sex as that is all he can appreciate. Where is the pride and dignity in that?
I have suspected for a long time that there is something else going on in his life but I have never known what it is. He is a single guy, 43 years old and never married. He claims that he had his heart broken a few years ago and he never wants to get close to a woman again. Sounds familiar?
He did all the disappearing, blowing hot and cold and all the stuff that NML so clearly describes but still I hung on. I made the mistake of believeing that if I was nice to him, he would see that I was different to all the other women he had been with before. This meant saying goodbye to pride, dignity and boundaries. How wrong I was!
Then the revalation came this week. Out of the blue I received a text from him to say that he actually has a 22 month old daughter from a casual relationship he had. He never wanted the child, thought the woman was on the pill etc etc. (probably lies). He changed his story from telling me the mother would not let him have contact with his daughter to saying that he receives regular updates and he visits too. I have asked him many times in the past if he wished he had had children and he has always said that it has just never happened.
When I asked if he supported this child he indignantly said that he was in enough debt as it is so why should he support a child that he never wanted? He also went on to say that he didn’t want to see me again becauses I asked him too many questions about the baby.
In reading the comments this morning, I believe I can do it. I am going to have no contact and I am going to regain some pride and self worth. 2010 is really going to be a different year for me. I realise that I have been in the gutter with this one and my climb out starts today. Wish me luck!
All the luck in the world littlePammie. You know you are better than him, believe it cause it’s true. Stay strong 🙂
To look at me you would never know that I have had little pride over the past 5 years. He is married and loves his two young children and his wife who he repects but is not in love with–lets the kids know he may leave them and uses them as a paun–which really hurts him. She tells him she wants him to leave all the time but never follows though because she doesn’t want to be a single mom.He has talked about leaving several times and tried a very loose separation at one point but went back when I ended things because he was secretive with the rest of the world about his separation. He is such a devoted father and I understand at some level that he would miss his kids. I go NC for no more than 3 months and then I can’t take it anymore. We have been in love for a long time now and my life is empty without him. I can say he treats me with love,respect,and dosen’t play hot and cold games. It’s just a bad situation and he blankly has told me that he is not going to leave for the time being. Even with all of this, I hold on to hope. I am working on loving myself more. It is hard though when you settle for this and to look at me who went through a divorce of my own, a vibrant woman, with no other man in my life but someone who puts me in second place.
” ….he indignantly said that he was in enough debt as it is so why should he support a child that he never wanted?”
Pammie, even when NC is obviously the only right choice it can be surpisingly hard. My resolve is rock solid but still, my progress with the issues around me being so blind has been measured in terms of months – not days, nor weeks. But there is no mistaking the feeling of making progress, instead of the old feeling of confusion, wanting and waiting for the EUM to come around.
When NC gets hard just come here, read, write and remember what you wrote above about a man who fathered a child, lied to you about it, and has no feeling of responsibility to help care for his child. This tells the story of the character of this man – he is a loser !!
Ditto on De’s words–stay smart and stay strong. It’s a climb, and it is worth it. The heck with 2010 being a different year, start right now with 2009.
Thanks guys for the words of support. They really mean a lot to me. I will be logging in regularly! NC day two and going well! I had an urge to text today but managed to resist!
Referring to my other post with three dates guy who lingered for another month. I am proud that i in fact did not indulge his behavior, I did not just take the crumbs he was giving.
Yes, I was upset at NYE that he basically ignored me, and I am embarrassed that my friend scolded him on my behalf, but at least I did not talk to him at all, and that I did not reach out to him to try to keep it going by apologizing for my friend.
That would have shown no pride, he had not given me any care or consideration, so why should I give him that?