Podcast Ep. 269: Shifting From Shady to Loving Relationships

Tags: Am I too sensitive?, assclowns, break the cycle, emotional generosity, empathy, feeling unworthy, having standards in relationships, how to be emotionally available, how to build your self-esteem, loving relationships, self-love, settling for crumbs, settling for less, shady relationships

I’m excited to finally be able to share the recording of the ‘live show’ from the International Women’s Podcast Festival on June 18th. In it, I share lessons and observations from my journey about love, loving yourself, and not settling for shadiness from yourself or others. This episode is the final one of the summer as it’s time for my annual summer break. I’ll be back in September, but in the meantime, I’ll share a few replays of favourite episodes. Have a fab summer!

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5 key topics in this episode

Shady relationships don’t bring out the best in us. They’re drama. Between living a lie by making lots of excuses, denying, rationalising and minimising, calling ourselves too sensitive, needy, difficult, demanding, rude, etc., and experiencing gaslighting, ultimately, we settle for far less than what we need, desire and deserve.
Our relationships begin before we’ve even met the person because of the relationship we have with ourselves. However, this narrative that we have to love or heal ourselves ‘100%’ before we can be in a loving relationship feeds this idea that we are broken. To be clear, that’s not true.
When we consider how we react when things don’t go our way, we can see that we’re not always emotionally generous with ourselves. Instead, we’re really hard on us and quick to put the boot in. e.g. You should have tried harder. Why do you always screw things up? Yet with someone else in a similar situation, we’ll be far kinder. When we practice emotional generosity, we’re willing to offer ourselves compassion, empathy, patience and loyalty.
All any frustrating situation is saying to you is, Okay, what’s the deal with you here? What’s your boundary? And how are we going to move this forward? No frustrating situation is trying to communicate your worthiness!
If you’re not being shady towards yourself, you’re not going to tolerate someone else being shady towards you.

Links mentioned + recommended resources

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