It’s time for another episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions.

In episode 62, I cover:

Snap judgements about who’s ‘nice’: Why do we jump to the conclusion that someone is ‘nice’ and either decide that it’s safe to date them or write them off? I talk about why these snap judgements get us into trouble, why sometimes calling people ‘nice’ is a cover for what we don’t want to say, and why we have to stop making certain inferences so that we lose our blind spots.

More on snap judgements:

What Learning About The Special Effects in Apollo 13 & Titanic Taught Me About Future Faking, Fantasy Relationships & Why We Get Carried Away

Episode 54 about snap judgements while dating

Episode 21 about the early stages of dating is guesswork

Great on paper, not so great in reality: Why superficial reasons don’t carry much weight with deep decisions

The Madness of Making Assumptions in Dating & Relationships

The Trouble With Being Blinded By Appearance in Dating & Relationships

When a loved one’s opinion differs to yours: Do we have to go toe to toe with a loved one who doesn’t share our view? I share ten tips for responding to differences with loved ones from a place of love, care, trust and respect.

Topics covered include:

  • Not making about you and instead recognising their viewpoint
  • The importance of really asking yourself the question: Why might they hold that view?
  • Why it’s vital to discern where your feelings are coming from, i.e. Is it purely about the view or about what you infer about you or your relationship with them?
  • Is how you engage with your family about your perceived role? Do you think that your role is to be saviour, fixer, the smart one, the scapegoat or the odd one out?
  • Using the Be Factual Approach to address their views–more on the Be Factual Approach
  • Why it’s unrealistic to expect to convert in ‘one hit’

Tis the season to send your ex a card/text, or is it?: I talk about whether this card/text is really for you or for them and one simple reason why it’s clearly not a good idea.

More on sending cards and texts to exes:

Dealing with happy birthdays and big occasions: To send a card or text, or not….?

Proportionate responses: It’s just a text 

Resisting the temptation to make contact with an ex at Christmas

Stop letting December stress you out! It’s just Christmas!

Listener Question: Anna wants to know, Why would an ex want to connect on LinkedIn rather than any other media?

What I Learned This Week: Hanging out with a friend for the first time in a long time got me crying for the first time in a while. I share what this experience reminded me about.

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