woman pushing man over the edge of a cliff

Megan asks “I always thought I was such an intelligent woman with an astounding amount of common sense, until reading Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl.

Is it normal to want revenge on “my” assclown?

I work with him, so we have contact all day long. I want to expose him somehow, some way. After putting “2 and 2” together, I think (know) he’s cheating on me and his wife.

Sometimes I feel like I’m starting to go off the deep end and want to follow him or have one of my friends spy on him. If I could just know for a fact that he is shagging someone else besides me and his wife, I feel that it might finally get me to the “absolutely pissed off” stage I need to be at to push him out of my life. He’s quite the charmer and I am starving for attention so it’s always back and forth with him. Story is waaaaayyyyy too long to go into detail but right now I’m feeling extremely pathetic and want revenge. Any advice would be very much appreciated.”NML says: Well I think with these men, many of us have had moments or periods of fury where we want to make them pay but I wouldn’t recommend it. You’re going through the anger stage where you have seen him for what he is and no doubt seeing him at work only suffices to ignite it.

The things you’re thinking about doing, if you did them, would not only fail to make you feel any better but, were he to find out about anything you were doing, he would be able to justify his own behaviour and write you off as a psycho. Is this how you want to be regarded?

The things that you’re thinking about, whilst they may seem tempting and you may think that they will prove a point, they are only going to prove the wrong points.

He is already cheating…on his wife…and this in itself is one massive assclown black mark against him and should be enough in itself to dump him. If he has the capacity to cheat on his wife, he has the capacity to cheat on you, and actually, regardless of how you may see it, it’s only the wife he has any responsibility to.

If you suspect he is shagging around on you and his wife, then again, your next action isn’t to look for a way to exact revenge – you should be looking to get the hell out of this relationship. You have enough there to be angry on without you having to catch him in the act or hide on street corners in a wig and a mac keeping tabs on him. The fact that you’re even seriously thinking about doing these things is a sign that things have gone too far and that you need to step waaaay back and cut off contact and deal with your feelings and anger.

You may not think you’re at the anger stage but you are – you’re just playing it out in a different way and thinking about doing irrational things.

If you are starving for attention this in itself is a huge sign that you need to work on this attention seeking and learning to like and love yourself rather than being with a man that starves you of attention and shags you, shags his wife, and then shags someone else. He’s pathetic – don’t sink to his level.

Recommended Reading: 30 Days of Drama Reduction and  Coping With Break Up Drama in the Workplace.

My new book How to Lose an Assclown in 90 Days is due out soon but if you want to get ahead on understanding waste of space men, there is also my ebook, Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl. Find out more and download.

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