mobile phoneDee has kindly shared her thoughts on The No Contact Rule and she is a great example of how you can turn the tables on him and your negative experience and gain something really positive – YOU.

“My No Contact actually began by HIM cutting off contact with me…. completely! The relationship ended over a heated argument/situation. I panicked, called incessantly, text messaged etc, and he stopped replying or never replied at all.

I then came to my senses and stopped the madness!

Now I am thankful that he cut off all contact because he did me a favour – I’m grateful for it!

I stopped the madness and just cut off all contact. It’s been nearly 3 weeks and I feel very proud of myself. No phone calls, or texts. I feel empowered to move on. I do have urges, but I just think of how bad he talked to me and treated me.

He reduced me from a vibrant, beautiful, intelligent, woman, to becoming a woman with low self-esteem. I had to remember who I was and how much I enjoyed loving life, WITH HIM NOT IN IT!!!

It’s hard, and yes I do wonder if he even notices that I quit contacting him. But he is so self absorbed, I doubt it. And I know things will get better with each passing day that I don’t contact him.

I’ve moved on and know I’m all the better for it. It’s nice to know there are others out there struggling with the same issues. Ladies, have faith! Don’t let any man reduce you to feeling like you are nothing.

It’s hard when you just want someone to love. However we can do soooo much better! God is good and he will take care of us and all you can do is pray for the EUM (Mr Unavailable).

Somewhere in their lives they did not receive the love and nurturing they needed to function as loving adults. Just know that you can’t fix this no matter how hard you try! It’s not our fault. It’s not YOU; it’s THEM. Move on and God bless!”

NML says: Dee, you are living proof that you can intervene on the madness and change the programme.

What you have shown is that even if he is the one to cut off the contact, you can take control of the situation, own it, and regain your power – you don’t need these spineless men!

Your initial panicked behaviour will only have served to massage his ego and he will have felt like he had the upper hand. By the time his ego finally recognises that it’s not getting a stroking from you and that it won’t be anytime soon, you will be happily living your life.

3 weeks in is when smokers normally lose the urge for the cigarette after giving up smoking, and you are coming into the home straight now. Focus on how you feel and the positives – when you recognise that your life is better and that you feel better as a person when he’s not in your life, it is a sign that you are right to ditch him and to stay away from him.

Often when these men cut us off, it’s their own twisted way of teaching us a lesson. It’s like we’ll think twice about arguing or challenging them, or effectively throwing our proverbial toys out of the pram. It’s about control and they don’t like feeling like we are not falling in line with their plan or making things too uncomfortable for them.

He dictates the pace and he has a certain level (The Status Quo) that he is comfortable with. Act like you two are the most amazing, committed couple on earth and he’ll find a reason to create trouble to bring things to more comfortable level. Take things down a step too far by having the balls to call him on his behaviour and he’ll ditch you to rebalance things.

Stick to your no contact and remember that the key to moving forward is to stop caring whether he’s thinking of you and to stop worrying about whether he’ll get in touch. But you know what, the more you get on with your life and feel good about you, the less you care!

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