As I pull together my forthcoming book, How To Lose an Assclown in 90 Days , one of the things that I think it is important for women who engage in poor relationships with assclowns, is that you can instantly recognise things about yourself based on the character of the man you profess to love or pine for.
I have repeatedly stressed how we choose men that reflect the things that we believe about ourselves so when you are filled with negativity about yourself, love, and relationships, you will choose men that reflect those very things. A very common example is being terrified of abandonment or losing him and then choosing a man who in fact makes your worst fears a reality by pulling disappearing acts and finishing it with you on a habitual basis. It’s not that you said ‘Hmmm, I need man. Oh, I know…I’ll choose someone who likes disappearing’ but because you have your own issues where you don’t think you’re good enough for someone to want to stick around, you choose men with poor qualities that add up to someone who is highly likely to behave in this way, because they have no respect for you or the relationship you think you both have.
When I explained about what How To Lose an Assclown in 90 Days would be covering, I mentioned that I have split assclowns into 5 key categories of behaviour:
Flip Flappers, Controllers, Liars, Manchildren, and Assholes.
So to give you some food for thought, and get you to into reality about your relationships with assclowns, here, in their simplest terms is what being involved with a man that fits into these groups means. In this post, I explain Flip Flappers, and you can check out Part 2 for the remainder.
What does a Flip Flapper say about you?
Flip Flappers are men who don’t know their arses from their elbow and are stuck in the land of limbo. They want you today, they’re not sure they want you tomorrow, but they might want you in a month, but not the following one. They stall on divorcing, they dawdle on separating, and when you have a man like this, you never know where you stand, which is how they like it.
You are indecisive. You place the responsibility for change, progression, or ending things on the guy and relationships with these men are attractive because their behaviour provides the perfect foil for cruising. It appears that you know what you want and what stands between you both is him taking action and sticking with it, but what we fail to realise is that when a man is habitually indecisive, he has still made a decision to not make one and instead feather his nest by being in limbo on your time.
You don’t know what you want but because he openly displays his flip flapping tendencies, you can fool yourself into believing that you do. You may find this filters into other areas of your life where you coast and hide behind what seem like plausible reasons and excuses.
If you did know what you wanted, you wouldn’t continue to be around someone who couldn’t commit to a decision and also couldn’t commit to you. But…this is all because like every woman involved with an assclown or in a relationship lacking commitment, you lack commitment too.
Read about the other assclowns in part 2.