Yep, big word I know. This is the unexpected phone call or casual meeting on the street when you run into one of your previous exes. You can’t freak out, you must remain calm, and handle it with a casual flair that does not betray your jittery emotions.
Hopefully, as a Bad Girl, when you do have that run-in with your ex, you are looking your absolute best. Even better, you are on an arm belonging to a fantastically gorgeous male specimen that makes him look like small fries. Of course, this would be an ideal situation.
When you do see him again, your heart might do a flip flop (if you are in fake closure) or you might have no reaction whatsoever. I recommend you faking like you have no feelings for him even if you do. Guys get a kick out of seeing their exes still sweating them and often try to reconnect just to get that instant affection and flattery back. Greet them with a smile, but not too broad, you don’t want him to think that you saved your best smiles for him now, do you?
Exchange pleasantries cordially but keep it short and simple. If he compliments you thank him graciously but no need to return the favour. If he asks how you are doing, tell him how great you are, that you got that promotion at your job, that you bought a new car, or whatever other great improvements you have made since you guys broke up. Exaggerate if you wish, amping yourself up totally psyches him out. You have definitely grown and matured since then, and he will see that. However, don’t stand on the street chatting forever though; you do have a very important and busy life, remember?
Be the one to end it first. “It was lovely running into you jerk. Have a great day asswipe.” Let him know that you are running late for some plans and you have to go. Now this is the crucial part. If he is trying to reconnect/sleep with you he’s going to either give you his number or want to get yours. Remember, a Recycled Man is not for you. Unless you wish to lead him on just for shits & giggles, don’t bother re-initiating contact.
On the phone, it’s even easier to survive a Recrudesce. Just keep your tone upbeat. It helps if you have some background noise…makes you sound oh so incredibly busy!
Whatever you do, contact has to be minimal. I recommend not anything greater than 3-5 minutes. You have to leave the impression in his mind that you are doing so much better without him, and have him wondering for the rest of his days about the wonderfully exciting Baaad girl that he let get away.
Vixen is Deputy Editor for Baggage Reclaim. Visit her blog Bad Girls Guide
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