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Being naive about ‘authority figures’ is a blind spot we need to clear up

by NATALIE | Jun 8, 2021 | Patterns & Habits

Sometimes we can be wilfully and even dangerously naive about people we perceive to be authority figures. We decide, for instance, that because of someone’s profession, they always do the right thing. It’s this mistaken belief that authorities always have...

Putting people on pedestals doesn’t give us the right to ‘compensation’

by NATALIE | Feb 8, 2021 | Boundaries

While working on the recent podcast episode about thinking that someone might be too good to be true, the issue of putting people on pedestals came up. This is where we elevate people to this glorified status by exaggerating who they are or, yes, by diminishing...

Podcast Ep. 135: In The Beginning… There Were Assumptions

by NATALIE | Apr 12, 2019 | Podcast: The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

People unfold, and yet, we tend to stick to the assumptions we make about who we think that they should be. We decide that because someone works in a particular profession or goes to therapy, or is “charming, good-looking, smart” that this means something about them...
Blind Spots Block The Relationship You Want

Blind Spots Block The Relationship You Want

by NATALIE | Jun 19, 2017 | Healthier Relationships

“Natalie, I am sooooo ready to be in a relationship and settle down. I can’t [whatever they’re currently doing and suffering through] anymore.” I hear variations of this statement sooooo much, sometimes from the same people multiple times over...
It’s Unrealistic For Us To Expect To Be An Expert In Our Interpersonal Relationships

It’s Unrealistic For Us To Expect To Be An Expert In Our Interpersonal Relationships

by NATALIE | Aug 1, 2016 | Healthier Relationships

One of the things that dating and even pre-dating (the bit where a website introduces you to a potential date or when someone introduces themselves to you and asks you out) along with relationship experiences does is that it helps you to fine-tune your gut instincts....
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natlue

Until you know what you’re closed to, so what ...

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Until you know what you’re closed to, so what doesn’t work for you, what’s not in alignment with your values, boundaries, needs, desires and expectations, you can’t know and enjoy what you’re open to. You’re not a free-for-all. Express your boundaries by expressing more of who you really are. #baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #boundariesarebeautiful #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #selfcare #healthyrelationships #codependentnomore

natlue

Trying to live up to everyone’s expectations is ...

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Trying to live up to everyone’s expectations is like trying to cup the ocean in your hands. And yet so many of us do this to ourselves and then wonder why we feel so lost, anxious, low and resentful. Making ourselves jump through hoops for other people’s shoulds takes a toll on our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being as well as the health and of our intimate relationships. When we allow ourselves to create healthy boundaries, to be more honest versions of ourselves, we accept that disappointing others by not always being able to meet their shoulds is a natural and healthy part of life. #baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #selfcaretips #listentoyourself #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist

natlue

It’s easy to look at certain things we be and do...

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It’s easy to look at certain things we be and do and put it down to us not being good or worthy enough. The truth is, though, we only accept too little, put up with too much, expect too much of ourselves or others, or fear being our real selves, because of our emotional baggage. That’s the old stories, feelings and judgements we carry about our experiences, not the truth of who we are. So the next time you see yourself accepting crumbs and sub-par relationships and situations, remember that it’s about what you’ve been through, not an indictment of who you are as a person. #baggagereclaim #peoplepleasing #recoveringpeoplepleaser #healthyboundaries #emotionalbaggage

natlue

This time sixteen years ago, I was waiting outside...

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This time sixteen years ago, I was waiting outside the WH Smith at Victoria Station to go on our first date. Thanks to Southern Rail, Em was late. 😆 A few weeks earlier, we’d caught eyes at a board games night. I wondered who the cute guy in the Freddy Kreuger-style jumper was 🤣 in between playing a gangsta game of Monopoly. In typical fashion, I made a wisecrack right at the end of the night, which led to our mutual friend introducing us. On our way home, my friend got a text from him asking who her “cute friend” was and for my number. Within minutes of our first date, we were bantering, and sixteen years on, we’re still having the craic and making each other belly laugh. My biggest supporter, who hasn’t ever for a second questioned what I do, even when I told him on our second date that I “write a blog thing, but don’t go reading it behind my back!” (and he didn’t), he’s believed in me even when I’ve doubted myself and encouraged me to keep going. And he still remains my favourite person on the planet… even though we can’t agree on the thermostat 🤣🤣🤣 Cheers to us @emmonlemmy
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