Uncovering Hidden Anger is Good for Our Self-Worth and Intimate Relationships

Here are examples of experiences that cause low self-worth, loneliness, and hidden anger:  Forcing yourself to forget about certain feelings and then forgetting you forgot them. Due to being pushed to your limit by later experiences, the buried feelings poke at you,...

The Truth Is, No One Needs You to Be Problemless and Always Happy

On the surface, striving to please others and acting happier than you feel, doesn’t seem problematic. They feel like noble acts that prioritise making others feel good. It feels like you’re always ‘on’ and ready to please. By centering everyone else’s needs,...

Podcast Ep. 257: Losing Ourselves Leads to Losing Our Temper

In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast, I talk about why we surprise ourselves and others by losing our temper and behaving uncharacteristically. I also share tips for not getting tipped over the edge (and learning from it and...

Dating and avoiding getting hurt while seeking physical affection in a casual relationship

When we carry hurt from previous dating and relationship experiences, we become guarded. We think what we’re doing is having boundaries when, in fact, our guardedness is our wall. It’s not unusual, though, to soon find ourselves between a rock and a hard...

‘Prepping’ for hurt and loss cuts us off from intimacy and connection

Several years back, I got into a deep conversation with a man who avoided closeness with his young son because of his belief (and fear) that either of them could die at any time. He loved his son so much and thought being a guarded, emotionally unavailable father...