A frequent lament I hear from clients struggling to reconcile the reality of their relationship with the picture in their mind is ‘Why can’t they go back to being that great person from the beginning?’ or ‘Why can’t things go back to how they were at the start?’ The...
Growing up, I often heard the advice “Relationships are about give and take”. Years on, and after hearing thousands of stories, I’ve realised that we’ve taken this too literally. It’s as if we think that one person exists to give and the...
In an unhealthy relationship, incompatibilities and unmet needs feature alongside behaviours that don’t serve the greater good of the relationship. And all-t0o-often, the partners focus on ‘winning’ or avoiding ‘losing’. Even though it...
If we think of trust as an exchange of faith and giving as an act of generosity that we do based on trust, we quickly see where our sense of reciprocity kicks in. It’s not necessarily that we give to get per se, but we give with the faith that we won’t get...
This year, a chief focus is pushing myself to ask for more help than I’m comfortable with. Thanks to being an over-responsible child who then became an over-responsible adult, I am well versed in ‘being strong’. My default setting is doing things...
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