Getting Along On Common Ground in Your Romantic Relationships? Or Compromising Yourself?

Why do we do all manner of [painful] things to impress and win over romantic partners? We want to get along, and we think it’s the same as compatibility, something we assume we have when we experience common ground. Think of common ground as the connection we...

Being together 24/7 or sharing all the same interests won’t make a happy relationship

Our assumptions about what makes for a happy relationship are a source of unnecessary tension and frustration in our relationships. It’s this idea that ‘soulmates’ (or certainly people who ‘really love each other’) want to spend every spare moment together. We...

Podcast Ep. 231: One-Trait Minds and The Polar Opposites Game

In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I talk about one of my favourite subjects: not getting hung up on one particular thing that you look for in romantic partners (or even in friends). Time and again, that characteristic or quality that hooks...

Podcast Ep. 209: The Compatibility Factor

This week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions is on one of my favourite topics: compatibility, our ability to co-exist harmoniously with someone or something. If we don’t choose our relationships from a place of honouring our core values, so who we...

Podcast Ep. 160: Interest Is A Hypothesis

In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, it’s time to rethink our attitude to interest and recognise that interest is a hypothesis. Thinking that someone is interested in us, or trying to figure out their agenda, or trying to make sense of...