About Intense Messaging During the Early Stages of Romantic Relationships

When getting to know someone new, we are, on some level, attempting to decipher whether they’re a ‘safe’ person. Are they trustworthy? Do we have common ground? The more interactions we have with someone over a relatively short period, even though they might be brief,...

Why There’s No ‘Easy Cook’ Recipe for Real Relationships

Over almost two decades of writing about dating and relationships, I’ve observed time and again in people’s questions and anxiety that what many of us would love is step-by-step instructions for how to go from single to long-term relationship. Ideally, we’d also...

Compliance Doesn’t ‘Win’ You a Relationship

We have all rules that we consciously and unconsciously follow. Some are dating rules we’ve observed and internalised from the culture. Plenty are our own version of trying to do life, dating and relationships in a paint-by-numbers fashion. If I do (or don’t do) X,...

Dating Rules Don’t Work. Let’s Stop Blocking Intimacy.

Some people have had sex on the first date, only to never hear from the person again. Others went on to have a relationship and may even still be together. Some waited several weeks or months or abstained until marriage and progressed to a loving relationship. For...

Podcast Ep. 273: Ignoring, Dismissing and Overriding Ourselves Always Leads to Problems

When we sense or know something that means we need to change course but we go ahead anyway, we’re always self-critical in the aftermath. We beat ourselves up for not having listened to ourselves. But a dilemma so many of us struggle with is knowing when we...