Low Expectations and Accepting the Bare Minimum in Relationships Fuels Self-Rejection

When you’ve been hurt and don’t feel safe in trusting others, it’s easy to rationalise that being in a bare-minimum relationship is the safe option. It’s like, How can I go wrong when I’m going out of my way to have low expectations? We figure...

The True Purpose of Having Standards: Guiding You, Not Controlling Your Relationships

Something I see a lot of confusion around is the purpose of standards. We decide that we have certain standards, and when people behave in ways that don’t reflect these, we get mad at them. We try to persuade, guilt, or shame them into meeting our standards....

Love Because You Feel Good About Yourself, Not To Fill Voids

Love because you feel good about yourself, not as a means to feel good about yourself. You conceive your relationships before you even meet people because you will choose for where you’re at emotionally. Being involved with emotionally unavailable or even shady...

If You Want a Loving Relationship, Don’t Settle for Crumbs

If you keep choosing and engaging at the level of a previous unfulfilling or unhealthy relationship, you’re effectively sending a message to yourself that these relationships are ‘right’ for you. The same goes if you keep insisting that the wrong relationship should...

Resisting Change Leads to the Groundhog Day of Relationship Insanity

It’s easy to believe that you’re open to change if you’ve tended to lose yourself in your relationships. All the morphing, blending, and adapting to suit other people’s agendas was really you catering to your beliefs about yourself, love, and relationships. It...