Authentic self? Real self? What On Earth Does It Mean To Be Yourself?

In a world proliferated with inspirational quotes and lots of encouragement to be ourselves, lots of us don’t know what this means. It’s why one of my most frequently asked questions is, What the hell does being yourself mean and look like? Being yourself...

About Ignoring Discomfort and Needs Because We’re Hoping They’re the One

When we’re not used to letting our real selves hang out, voicing our needs, and creating healthy boundaries, it’s not unusual to assume that if we’re really into someone and we have ‘so much in common’, the rest should take of itself. In reality, that’s not how humans...

Be What You Seek

When seeking partners with whom you can enjoy mutual love, care, trust and respect, what makes it so much easier, irrespective of anything else that attracts you, is that you prioritise ensuring that they have the four qualities of a loving partner (commitment to...

Healthier Boundaries Allow You To Express Your Authentic Self

Boundaries are the often invisible and much-needed lines between us and others. They communicate our comfort levels and how we feel about ourselves. People know we value love, care, trust and respect when we have healthy boundaries. Conversely, if we’re afraid...

Why There’s No ‘Easy Cook’ Recipe for Real Relationships

Over almost two decades of writing about dating and relationships, I’ve observed time and again in people’s questions and anxiety that what many of us would love is step-by-step instructions for how to go from single to long-term relationship. Ideally, we’d also...