Low Expectations and Accepting the Bare Minimum in Relationships Fuels Self-Rejection

When you’ve been hurt and don’t feel safe in trusting others, it’s easy to rationalise that being in a bare-minimum relationship is the safe option. It’s like, How can I go wrong when I’m going out of my way to have low expectations? We figure...

The True Purpose of Having Standards: Guiding You, Not Controlling Your Relationships

Something I see a lot of confusion around is the purpose of standards. We decide that we have certain standards, and when people behave in ways that don’t reflect these, we get mad at them. We try to persuade, guilt, or shame them into meeting our standards....

Some Parents Couldn’t Be Who We Needed, and We Need to Forgive Ourselves

There are so many humans struggling due to believing, on some level, that they’re not good enough because of childhood experiences. We misunderstand painful and uncomfortable events, and they become the story of who we are and can be. Regardless of whether we...

Podcast Ep. 247: The One Where Nat Went To Therapy

It’s time for me to go on my end-of-year break, so this is the last episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions for 2021. It’s a reflective episode where I share how I surprised myself by going to therapy this year and how it, along with joys and...

We don’t need to ‘confess’ our bad relationship experiences to a new partner

When we’ve had what we might term “bad past experiences” and we realise that we’re in the beginnings of a much healthier, loving relationship, it’s not uncommon to feel as if we need to confess to our unavailable and shady relationships....