selfishness Archives

These “good qualities” you cling to, why aren’t you benefiting from them?

One of the challenges that life presents for some of us is knowing where and with whom to invest our good qualities. When we’re driven by being a ‘good person’ and avoiding people’s judgement and criticism, it makes us afraid of putting...

Without disappointment, boundaries aren’t possible

by NATALIE | Happiness & Self-Esteem

Sometimes we’re afraid of saying no because we know with every fibre of our being that this is exactly how we feel. And we mistakenly believe that it’s selfish to honour those feelings and disappoint someone. But surely this renders our emotions useless? It...

Knowing the Line Between Putting You First and Being “Selfish”

by NATALIE | Happiness & Self-Esteem

One of the fears people considering improving their self-esteem and boundaries struggle with is about being “selfish”. They’re so not used to taking care of their own needs, expectations, desires, feelings and opinions (rather than expecting others...

We need to talk about “selfish”

by NATALIE | Boundaries

When we suppress and repress our own feelings, opinions, needs, expectations and desires, we become oversensitised to those of others and develop a pesky habit of taking ownership of their feelings and behaviour. It’s as if in silencing us and being on high alert, we...

Dog In a Manger – When they don’t want you but don’t want anyone else to want you either

by NATALIE | Emotional Unavailability

I am always fascinated by the human interplay of the dog in a manger theory. Man and woman get together, have a relationship (doesn’t matter about length or strength), man and woman go their separate ways. Sometimes man and woman get together for old times sake....