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You’re not needy, impatient or pushy for wanting more than an unfulfilling relationship

by NATALIE | May 11, 2021 | Emotional Unavailability, Happiness & Self-Esteem

When a partner can’t meet your needs but also claims that you’re impatient, pushy, needy or difficult, they essentially want you to OK their lack of investment in the relationship. At the very least, they want you to reframe unmet needs and potential...

Podcast Ep. 222: They’re just not that into you?

by NATALIE | Apr 23, 2021 | Podcast: The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

In this week’s episode of  The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I talk about why some of us wrestle with ‘he’s just not that into you’. From the 2004 book of the same name and a hilarious episode of Sex and the City, this advice helped us to stop...

Podcast Ep. 160: Interest Is A Hypothesis

by NATALIE | Nov 15, 2019 | Podcast: The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, it’s time to rethink our attitude to interest and recognise that interest is a hypothesis. Thinking that someone is interested in us, or trying to figure out their agenda, or trying to make sense of...
Podcast Ep. 122: Relationship Crumbs, Whether It’s From The Shady or The ‘Nice’, Are Crumbs

Podcast Ep. 122: Relationship Crumbs, Whether It’s From The Shady or The ‘Nice’, Are Crumbs

by NATALIE | Jan 12, 2019 | Podcast: The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

When we’re romantically involved with someone who’s ambiguous and ambivalent about their interest and/or whether they want a relationship with us, it grinds us down. We accept crumbs. This week’s episode of  The Baggage Reclaim Sessions follows...
Podcast Ep. 73: Is Lack of Curiosity Indicative of Disinterest?, Personal Anniversaries, Being OK With Disapproval

Podcast Ep. 73: Is Lack of Curiosity Indicative of Disinterest?, Personal Anniversaries, Being OK With Disapproval

by NATALIE | Jan 27, 2017 | Podcast: The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

Welcome to another episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions. In episode 73, I cover: Personal anniversaries: January 31st marks 16 years of living in London and 9 years of self-employment. I reflect on the significance of these big changes and the importance of...
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natlue

Until you know what you’re closed to, so what ...

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Until you know what you’re closed to, so what doesn’t work for you, what’s not in alignment with your values, boundaries, needs, desires and expectations, you can’t know and enjoy what you’re open to. You’re not a free-for-all. Express your boundaries by expressing more of who you really are. #baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #boundariesarebeautiful #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #selfcare #healthyrelationships #codependentnomore

natlue

Trying to live up to everyone’s expectations is ...

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Trying to live up to everyone’s expectations is like trying to cup the ocean in your hands. And yet so many of us do this to ourselves and then wonder why we feel so lost, anxious, low and resentful. Making ourselves jump through hoops for other people’s shoulds takes a toll on our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being as well as the health and of our intimate relationships. When we allow ourselves to create healthy boundaries, to be more honest versions of ourselves, we accept that disappointing others by not always being able to meet their shoulds is a natural and healthy part of life. #baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #selfcaretips #listentoyourself #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist

natlue

It’s easy to look at certain things we be and do...

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It’s easy to look at certain things we be and do and put it down to us not being good or worthy enough. The truth is, though, we only accept too little, put up with too much, expect too much of ourselves or others, or fear being our real selves, because of our emotional baggage. That’s the old stories, feelings and judgements we carry about our experiences, not the truth of who we are. So the next time you see yourself accepting crumbs and sub-par relationships and situations, remember that it’s about what you’ve been through, not an indictment of who you are as a person. #baggagereclaim #peoplepleasing #recoveringpeoplepleaser #healthyboundaries #emotionalbaggage

natlue

This time sixteen years ago, I was waiting outside...

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This time sixteen years ago, I was waiting outside the WH Smith at Victoria Station to go on our first date. Thanks to Southern Rail, Em was late. 😆 A few weeks earlier, we’d caught eyes at a board games night. I wondered who the cute guy in the Freddy Kreuger-style jumper was 🤣 in between playing a gangsta game of Monopoly. In typical fashion, I made a wisecrack right at the end of the night, which led to our mutual friend introducing us. On our way home, my friend got a text from him asking who her “cute friend” was and for my number. Within minutes of our first date, we were bantering, and sixteen years on, we’re still having the craic and making each other belly laugh. My biggest supporter, who hasn’t ever for a second questioned what I do, even when I told him on our second date that I “write a blog thing, but don’t go reading it behind my back!” (and he didn’t), he’s believed in me even when I’ve doubted myself and encouraged me to keep going. And he still remains my favourite person on the planet… even though we can’t agree on the thermostat 🤣🤣🤣 Cheers to us @emmonlemmy
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