We Need to Be Investors, Not Bailiffs, In Our Relationships

Relationships are an investment. They involve an element of risk, and you don’t recoup your investment costs — time, energy, effort and emotion (your bandwidth). Investing ourselves into our relationships and priorities is the cost of getting involved, so we...

Podcast Ep. 277: Knowing When To Stop

In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I share a big decision I’ve made about Baggage Reclaim and the podcast. You don’t have to hate something to stop. You can love something and also recognise that you need or want to do...

Believing you’ve put in too much to leave and that to ‘give up’ would be a ‘waste’

Believing you’ve put in too much to leave and that to ‘give up’ would be a ‘waste’ is a trap. You stay in a situation long past its sell-by date, blocking you from accepting, grieving and growing. The thing is, your efforts and experience...

People Pleasing is Like Creating Debt and Then Expecting Others to Pay It Off 

When your decision to remain in an unhealthy or unfulfilling relationship or situation is about ‘investment’ and attempting to recoup a loss, you wind up making the person/people indebted to you. There becomes a sense of entitlement. This is when you have...

Jumping into relationships and belatedly realising commitment is involved

Being on the receiving end of not just someone’s intense interest in and attraction to us, but their seeming desire to jump into a relationship, can be pretty intoxicating. The intensity creates this romance of false intimacy, and we think we’ve jumped into a fairy...