Let’s Stop Tripping Over Our Attraction and Chemistry Blind Spots

The attraction and chemistry we experience at the outset of a relationship are based on snap judgements and the resonance of where we’re each at emotionally, mentally, physically, and even spiritually. This is normal. We don’t know the other person yet (or they us),...

No more crumbs is a big yes to love, care, trust and respect

It’s amazing what we talk ourselves into and accept from others when we don’t believe that we’re worth it. Or, when we know we are but don’t think who and what we want is out there. There’s a fear that we can’t do better and that this is as good as it...

About Fear of Abandonment and Why We Lower Our Standards

Fear of abandonment causes us to lower our standards. We’re afraid that if we don’t be and do all the ‘right’ things, that we’re going to be deserted and unable to survive. To protect us against this fate, we try to work out the...
Advice Wednesday: Should I Let My Ex Know About My BPD Diagnosis?

Advice Wednesday: Should I Let My Ex Know About My BPD Diagnosis?

Stephanie asks: One year after my ex broke up with me, I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. We had issues; I was clingy/jealous, he was avoidant/promised more than he could keep. I offered to seek treatment, spend time apart and try again, but...
This isn’t love: You’re in pattern, they’re in pattern

This isn’t love: You’re in pattern, they’re in pattern

It’s so hard when I witness someone who keeps throwing themselves in the front line of pain by repeatedly returning to a toxic relationship or not leaving it. It’s not just because I’ve done it myself and it felt like a gradual exorcism of the past...