1. You don’t introduce him to your nearest and dearest because you know they’ll hate him.
2. You only like him when he’s naked and having sex with you. As soon as he starts talking, you either try to silence him with sex or push him out the door.
3. You’re afraid to leave your valuables around him in case they mysteriously go for a wander. Forget carrying cash in your wallet and be careful of seeing your prized possessions in the window of the nearest pawn shop.
4. Responsibility is something that he thinks that other people do, hence he dodges working consistently, paying bills, and generally fending for himself.
5. He’s so tied up in his mothers apron strings, you think that he may actually still be attached to the umbilical cord.
6. He either habitually turns up late or doesn’t bother to show up at all. Obviously he doesn’t bother to call you and give you a heads up.
7. Your constantly coming up with reasons to justify your investment into the relationship. Despite the fact that he behaves like a jackass, you manage to find the good in his actions.
8. Your relationship is a one way street. You think you’re loves young dream whilst he thinks you’re the girl he calls up for a bit of fun and a shag when it suits him.
9. He has more baggage than Heathrow baggage reclaim and shows no sign of offloading any of it. Whether it’s excess baggage in the form of a girlfriend, wife, an addiction, or other serious issues, the guys constant problems are a pain in the ass.
10. He just doesn’t know how to respect you. Whether it’s your boundaries, your trust, your emotions, or the time and energy that you invest in the relationship, this guy just keeps crossing the line.
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7.5: You know he’s wrong as he is at the present moment, but you hold on to hope and wait because he would be perfect *if* [insert conditions, which may include some new or different behavior on your part, some amazing revelation on his part, or some change in the external situation].
11. He treats you one way when you’re alone together in private, another way when you’re alone together in public, and another way when there are other people around.
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12. He lets his friends bully and torment you. He sets the example for them.
13. He lies to your friends, or anyone else.
14. Alcoholic. An alcoholic cannot tell the truth, in my experience. They don’t intend to lie, they do so without thinking.
15. Cruel to kids, animals, or others.
16. Hygiene. If he can’t keep himself clean, yuck. Making a home is a lot of work, if he won’t keep his little corner of the earth in shape, where do you think he will get the organization, discipline, or will to keep a family happy?
13.5: Lying by omission and other secretive behavior surrounding issues that undermine trust.
Example from my life: “My ex called me today because a mutual friend of ours was in a car accident.”
Omission: He didn’t tell me that they met for coffee for 3 hours after she called.
When I asked why he didn’t tell me: “You didn’t ask.”
Bottom line: If he has coffee with an ex that he said he never wanted to talk to again, I shouldn’t be learning about it from a friend.