I have decided to take a typical 12 step AA programme and create a drama reduction one.
1. We admit that we are Drama Seekers and addicted to relationship crack. Our relationships and sense of self have become unmanageable.
2. We are in charge of ourselves and our relationships. Drama can be as big or as little as we want it to be. The choice to engage is our choice alone.
3. We have come to believe that there is a greater power than drama or an assclown – that is ourselves. We will restore ourselves to sanity and take charge of our experiences.
5. We are and will continue to admit to ourselves and to another human being that at times we have erred but we are greater than what we consider to be our ‘relationship mistakes’ and we will embrace ourselves and our past and move forward.
6. We are committed to loving ourselves and engaging in relationships and activities that serve to make us happy and bring out the best in us.
7. We have looked objectively at our relationship history and admitted when we’ve been involved with emotionally unavailable, and in some instances, shady folk, but are also accountable for our own contribution into our relationship pasts.
8. We have either made amends where the drama was internal and the person wasn’t at fault, or we have or are taking the appropriate steps to disentangle ourselves from inappropriate relationships, whether that involves No Contact, or making clear our expectations and boundaries.
9. We will make a concerted effort every day to live lives that involve minimal drama, whether that be on our own, or with a partner. We will bow out of relationships and interactions that diminish our self-esteem and devalue us, typically unavailable relationships.
10. We will have Conscious Relationships and we recognise that relationships don’t ‘happen’, that they take the sum of two people, have both parties with both of their feet in, and they do require work (although not negative drama work but two people who operate in the best interests of each other and the relationship). Relationships won’t just ‘happen’ to us; we will actively choose positive relationships.
11. We will have an Epiphany Moment or Relationship as a result of the awakening caused by these steps.
12. We will try to carry this message to other women and empower each other to want more for ourselves and out of our relationships. We will embrace each other and sisterhood and support each other as we realise that it’s better to be single, than feel alone with someone who reduces our self-esteem and isn’t present and accountable for the relationship, and even worse, create or triggers drama seeking.
Just say NO! to assclowns and relationship crack ladies!
If you are a Drama Seeker, you should be reading my ebook Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl. Find out more and buy and download.