AOL asks: Is first date sex wrong?
January 21, 2007 by NML
My thoughts on first date sex are: Unless you want to have just the one date, I would avoid getting the knickers down on the first date. My only exception and even then I would be cautionary is if you knew the person very well. And I know how people love to look for loopholes, so having oral sex or a spot of heavy petting is exactly the same thing! It’s not about it being wrong as it’s different strokes (literally) for different folks, but in most cases, getting naked will set the tone and potentially kill off a possible relationship.
AOL has launched a new video series called ‘The Pulse’ and for the first one it has posed the question of whether first date sex is wrong and naturally the responses are varied, but even more interesting are the comments. Last I heard it takes two to tango and I laughed out loud at this comment, “I think a person should be able to do what they want. However, society do not agree. Women who have sex on the first date are viewed as EASY.”– REDHEADANDSHORT
What about MEN who have sex on the first date?! Are they not easy too or are they just supposed to be patted on the back and lauded for being a stud?
The cold reality is that most guys, even if they are going to think you’re a slut after you sleep with them on the first date, won’t do the decent thing and not sleep with you. I asked a guy why he slept with the girl if he knew he’d lose interest because she put out so easily. “Well I wasn’t going to turn down sex….” But he doesn’t mind making her feel worthless afterwards by knocking her for doing something that he was just as willing to do….
Your thoughts?
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that is so true. unfortunately we live in a society that praises double standards. being labelled “easy” is like a stigma, remember that scene in Ally McBeal where Richard replied to the blond secretary’s question (”Give me one thing you’d tell your mate about me”), “easy”.
I agree. But, that’s just the way it is…I’ve gone through questioning and raging against the double standard, but I doubt it’s going to change anytime soon.
Truth is, for men sex is usually not as important as it is to women. They can have sex with almost anyone as long as they are having a good time and move (unless they’re emotionally attached). While women tend to become emotionally attached before, during, and/or after having sex…just different…
It’s the same reason why guys cheat and can still totally love their significant other…if a woman cheats she’s usually emotionally detached from the relationship already…
Again, this all conjecture based on talking to guy friends, everyone is different…but I definitely wouldn’t sleep with a guy on the first date - I’d keep him guessing and wanting to know more…
I slept with my ex-husband on the first date, and we lasted eight years. I slept with my last boyfriend on the first date, and we lasted two years. If having sex is killing the relationship, you may have to consider the fact that you might not be all that good at sex.
That’s retarded thinking, thankfully women don’t have such issues and are more easy going. I personally have sex if I felt like it and if a guy would think that way I’d run away.