Currently viewing the tag: "Sex advice"

Over the past few days I’ve been talking about sexual values to help you avoid sexual pitfalls, such as having sexual insanity by repeating the same actions but expecting different results, and trying to […]

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Following on from part one yesterday and my previous post on sexual pitfalls, here are more of my thoughts on sexual values….

6. Stop trying to teach old dogs new tricks. Trust me, you […]

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Reading the comments on my post yesterday about sexual pitfalls was a startling reminder of how as women, while we can often devalue ourselves inadvertently through our actions, that some of the men we’re involved with are only too eager to devalue […]

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It’s been a while since I’ve talked about sex (on the blog that is) but yesterday when I wrote about our boundaries and how they’re our personal electric fence, some of the comments and emails reminded me of how as women, we have really got to draw […]

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Last night I was speaking with a reader who has really been given the emotional beatdown by the guy that she’s been involved with. She couldn’t fathom how she’s got to the point where she’s involved with a guy who’s treating her like a casual sex companion who he can disrespect at will and […]

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Hence when they don’t put out or hound you for sex, we tend to feel a tad confused and wonder what is wrong with us. But…and it kills me to say it….not every guy wants to shag your brains out all the time…. If by some sheer chance his behaviour is a result of avoiding sex, this situation isn’t going to resolve itself and if he wants to be in this relationship and make you feel loved, cherished, and valued, he needs to be in it and he needs to be making every effort to positively improve your relationship and if that means going to a sex counsellor, so be it.

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In the past I’ve had a lot of emails from women where they tell me the most awful things about their relationship with a guy and they finish it off by saying how they love him and the sex is amazing and yada, yada, and it’s what I’ve previously referred to as Great Dysfunctional Sex – sex powered by lots of negativity normally created by drama and insecurity…. Bad relationships that are full of drama, emotional unavailability and anything else that happens to be counter productive to a successful relationship are devaluing, degrading, and have a nasty habit of reducing our self-esteem so that we end up feeling like non-entities and even more dependent on the poor relationship because how we perceive ourselves becomes intrinsically tied to how successful or unsuccessful our relationships are.

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When it comes to dating and relationships, ‘attraction’ can be a word that automatically let’s us off the hook from engaging our brain in any rational thinking. ‘I’m so attracted to him; I just can’t fight it’, she says even though she really should fight ‘it’ because he’s treating her like a booty call even […]

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One of the things I learned about dating is that in order to survive, you need to be able to smell the BS coming from a mile away otherwise assclowns a plenty will suck up your time, reduce your self-esteem, and end up making you believe that dating is for suckers. One of the classic […]

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A few days ago I wrote about The Justifying Zone, that slippery slope that women can find themselves on when they stick with a guy so that they can justify their emotional or sexual investment, even if they recognise that that the relationship is doomed. A couple of male commenters […]

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The Justifying Zone is that slippery slope that a lot of women find themselves in, especially after they have sexual contact with a guy. Many of us feel that we need to justify our emotional and sexual investment and this justification is effectively attempting to close the door after the horse has bolted.

The Justifying […]

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