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Feb 25

My inner perfectionist, if it had its way, would ensure that I did everything A++++++++++++++ 🤣 There’s beauty in not trying to do everything ‘perfectly’ and not putting the expectation on yourself that you have to be The Best. But you also don’t need to make out like you’re not ‘good enough’, nor do you need to burn up so much of your bandwidth comparing you to others. The pushing ourselves too hard, putting ourselves down, and the comparison—they suck the joy out of things. What if we don’t have to try so bloody hard?

#baggagereclaim #recoveringperfectionist #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #peoplepleasernomore #peoplepleasers #healthyboundaries #comparisonisthethiefofjoy #comparison #innercritic ...

Feb 22

You always deserve better than being somebody’s emotional airbag (or dumping ground/blow-up doll/entertainment centre/scapegoat, for that matter). When you stop letting someone use you as a buffer against dealing with their feelings and *themselves*, you get to value yourself and be with someone else who will treat you like the special, worthwhile and valuable person that you are. You have needs too!

#baggagereclaim #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #boundaries #peoplepleasing #peoplepleasernomore #codependentnomore #healthyboundaries #emotionallyunavailable #mrunavailable #healthyrelationships #selfworthquotes #valueyourself ...

Feb 18

When you treat you like a priority, your choices communicate that you matter too and that you value mutually fulfilling relationships.

#baggagereclaim #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #selfworthquotes #valueyourself ...

Feb 16

Losing ourselves in a relationship, whether it’s blending and merging, performing to be their ‘perfect partner’, or doing things that cause us shame, is a sign that we are putting our efforts into the wrong things. We don’t have to do this stuff. Loving relationships allow us to be more of who we really are, not less.

#boundaries #healthyboundaries #baggagereclaim #corevalues #healthyrelationships #listentoyourself #valueyourself #authenticity #authenticself #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #recoveringpeoplepleaser ...

Feb 14

Go easy on yourself. Wherever you are right now, today, romantic relationship or not, things going pretty well or not, you are and always have been a worthwhile and valuable person. And if you’re not where you thought you’d be, I see you, I hear you. It’s more than OK to feel what you feel. But don’t set up residence there because these feelings aren’t a permanent statement of the future, and things will get better. You will be somewhere else. So even though you maybe feel out of control of things and frustrated by this feckin lockdown, do your best to love and take care of you anyway.

#baggagereclaim #emotionalbaggage #recoveringpeoplepleaser #lovingkindness #selfworthquotes #takecareofyou ...

Feb 12

Don’t compromise yourself. It’s never worth it.

#boundaries #baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #codependentnomore #selfesteemquotes ...

Feb 9

Set the standard and you won’t feel the need to exaggerate crumbs into a loaf. When you start treating and regarding you with love, care, trust and respect, you won’t accept less from others than you can already be and do for yourself.

#baggagereclaim #boundaries #healthyboundaries #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasernomore #howtosayno ...

Feb 8

Feeling habitually resentful, guilty and frustrated is a sign that we’ve been doing what might be ‘good’ things for the wrong reasons. We’ve been too liberal with yes and busted up our boundaries and bandwidth. When we stop saying yes to the shizzle we don’t want to do, we get to figure out what we actually need and want to say yes to. We also discover that the sky doesn’t fall down and stop feeling like a sucker or as if we’re trapped and beholden in our relationships.

#boundaries #baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #recoveringpeoplepleaser #codependentnomore ...

Feb 3

If we’re totally honest with ourselves about everything we put us under pressure to be and do *right now* or that we feel obliged to say yes to without barely pausing for breath and checking in with our bandwidth and whether we even need or want to, most of it *isn’t* critical. If something isn't critical, we need to weigh saying yes to it against our priorities. We need to check in with ourselves because self-care is actually about considering our well-being in our actions and choices instead of treating us like an afterthought. The sky will not fall down if we say no.

#baggagereclaim #boundaries #healthyboundaries #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #healthyrelationships #tuneintoyouremotions #listentoyourself #respectyourself #selfcare ...

Feb 2

When you endeavour to own and be more of who you really are, you align with the people, things and opportunities that reflect this... and have the boundaries to limit the impact of people who don’t respect and value who you are.

#baggagereclaim #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser #recoveringpeoplepleaser #boundaries #beingyourself #authenticself #authenticity #healthyboundaries #healthyrelationships ...

Feb 1

When someone truly likes, respects or is interested in us, we don’t have to keep second-guessing ourselves and being subjected to inconsistencies, passive-aggression and even assholery.

Actions and words need to match, and when they don’t, you need to pay attention because there’s a problem.

#baggagereclaim #listentoyourself #actionsspeaklouderthanwords #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #passiveaggressivenotes #peoplepleasing #boundaries #healthyrelationships #relationshipadvice ...

Jan 29

When I look back on events in my past where I’ve been in pain over someone’s shady carry-on or their treatment of me, in each of them, I discovered that I had limits and standards. Their actions forced me to create boundaries, inadvertently freeing myself in the process.

#baggagereclaim #datingadvice #relationshipquotes #relationshipadvice #boundaries #healthyrelationships #healthyboundaries #selfworth #selfworthquotes #expressyourself #selfexpression #listentoyourself #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser #narcissisticabuse ...

Jan 26

What if our procrastination isn’t about our “laziness” or us not wanting something “enough” or whatever we tell ourselves, and instead, it’s because we’re exhausted by our own expectations? Maybe... we’re exhausted by all our habits that cause us to ignore or demand too much of ourselves.

#baggagereclaim #procrastination #innercritic #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #listentoyourbody #innerchild #innerchildhealing #anxietyrelief #selfcarequotes ...

Jan 21

There's nothing wrong with giving the benefit of the doubt, but we mustn't confuse this with allowing people to benefit from us not trusting ourselves. That's giving people the benefit of our *self-doubt*.

And if the reason that doubt exists is because the relationship, including the likes of boundary-busting, gaslighting and blowing hot and cold, is unhealthy, we need to halt. No good will come of giving them another extension.

#boundaries #healthyboundaries #baggagereclaim #listeningtoyourself #trustingyourself #selfdoubt #gaslightingawareness #gaslighting #healthyrelationships ...

Jan 14

I’m often asked how we recognise that we’re not meeting our needs or living by our values. This is where we need to pay attention to where we’re editing, shaving and contorting ourselves to please and accommodate others while making us small. To where we mute ourselves and don’t have our back.

If we’re not meeting our emotional needs and living our life in a way that allows us to be more us, it only leads to pain. Rather than see it as an inconvenience or failure that we can’t continue doing these things without suffering, we can see it as an opportunity to reclaim ourselves. It’s only when we are truly willing to start taking care of ourselves and honouring our boundaries by taking care of our needs and values that we are truly free.

#baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #valuesmatter #needs #healthyrelationships #listentoyourbody #listentoyourself ...

Jan 1

Welcome to 2021. Thanks to the shenanigans of 2020, there’s already a lot of pressure on this year. With each new year, there can be a sense of renewal and a desire for us to bring the idealised version of us to fruition. You know, that better than our current self that we aspire to and that may well be the source of self-criticism and disappointment, especially if, like me, you’re a recovering people-pleaser, perfectionist and overthinker. So, of course, we have things that we desire and aspire to, but we can do it from a place of already being enough. What if, in fact, our only resolution this year was to love ourselves more? What might experience as a by-product of that even in the midst of uncertainty? More peace and joy, for sure. Wishing you a happy new year. Please, take care of you.

#baggagereclaim #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #beingyourself #embroideryart #selflovequotes #embroiderersofinstagram ...

Dec 24

We are in community. Much as we might feel that we’re A-OK because our family relationships are ‘great’, we have friends, partners, coworkers, etc., who might be struggling. Given that in adulthood, we choose our family, we might be someone’s chosen person. Even a bit of empathy and compassion about estrangement, especially given 1) the pandemic and 2) this time of year which triggers anxiety, shame and loneliness for a lot of people, could go a long way.

If you find this time of year tough or have wrestled with loneliness or estrangement this year, episodes 207 and 204 of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast dives deep into these. Available on all podcast players and link in bio.

#christmas #lonelinessquotes #loneliness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthquotes #baggagereclaim #selflove #recoveringpeoplepleaser #supportnetwork ...

Dec 22

It’s ages since I’ve shown my face and have had lots of new followers, so hello! Allow me to introduce myself:

I’m Natalie Lue. I’ve used a blog and podcast, as well as a few self-published books, ecourses, etc., over the last 16.5 years to help people break free of the legacy habits of our unprocessed baggage like emotional unavailability, people-pleasing, perfectionism and overthinking.

I’m 43 and live on the edge of south London in Caterham, Surrey with my husband, two daughters and our cockerpoo. Born in England, I was primarily raised in Dublin, Ireland (I still call it home even though I've been back in England for almost 20 years), and have Jamaican Chinese heritage.

My podcast The Baggage Reclaim Sessions has over 200 episodes and 1.8 million + downloads, and I also host a Shortcast (short version of it) on @blinkist

A few fun facts:
1. My career started with a bad date and me sharing my woeful taste in relationships with emotionally unavailable men on my then personal blog. Thanks, exes 🤣
2. I'm still obsessed with 90s music and am an eternal raver. I dance pretty much every day.
3. People share as little as thirty seconds of their story with me and I can read their pattern and how the rest of the story will go.
4. I have a baby photo of me being held by Bob Marley.
5. I've been doing this full-time for almost thirteen years and it's been driven by an army of fans supporting me to self-publish and create over the years. 🤗👏🏾

#baggagereclaim #emotionalbaggage #emotionalintelligence #irishblogger #britishpodcast #recoveringpeoplepleaser ...

Dec 21

The day I realised that the likes of my people-pleasing and perfectionism are driven by anxiety about *something*, a light bulb 💡 went on for me. Now, when these habits show up, I see them as calls to notice what I’m feeling and what I really need so that I can take care of me and show UP instead of hiding in these habits that have kept me company for so long. I learned them to cope and survive, but now I have to let them go to thrive.

If you want to change your relationship with anxiety, check out my short audio course, The Anxiety Sessions—link in bio.

#baggagereclaim #anxietyawareness #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #recoveringperfectionist #recoveringpeoplepleaser #overthinkers #selfcaretip #anxietyquote ...

Dec 16