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Apr 13

It’s a lot easier to get a sense of what you need and what’s out of whack when you’re not going so hard or so fast that you miss signals from your body and life that you’re over your bandwidth and crossing boundaries. Taking care of you every day, not just when shit hits the fan, allows you to live your life more in a way that supports you instead of burning you out as a way of life.

Episodes 219 and 220 of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast are about the baggage behind why we don’t allow ourselves to rest and why it’s ok to have work boundaries. Link in bio.

#baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #boundaries #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #peoplepleasers #recoveringperfectionist #burnoutrecovery #stressreduction #listentoyourbody #selfcare #selfcaredaily ...

Apr 5

I’ve felt pretty pooped for the last few weeks and am doubling down on early nights and taking space to slow down so I can find a new rhythm. The slight easing of lockdown restrictions meant that we could venture to the beach for a change of scenery today. It was exactly what we all needed! And check out Chester trying to take over the photo 🤣👏🏾❤️

The current episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions is about allowing ourselves to rest and why we experience so much resistance and burnout. Link in bio. One of the things I’ve realised is that there will always be more things to do, so it’s best to make sure you make space for rest so that you have a more realistic sense of what you need and want to do.

#baggagereclaim #cockerpoosofinstagram #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser #boundaries #healthyboundaries #selfcare #cockerpoo #cockerpoolove ...

Mar 27

It’s easy to tell ourselves that we’re making someone feel ‘good’, not hurting their feelings or avoiding awkward or painful conflict and criticism when we say yes when we really need, want to or should say no, but our dishonesty and lack of boundaries leads to guilt, shame, resentment, frustration and anxiety, to name just a few.

In the end, even though people won’t be all-singing and dancing about it (and nor do they need to be), they much prefer clear boundaries and communication to you feeling crappy or them feeling bad about themselves.

#baggagereclaim #emotionalbaggage #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #healthyboundaries #boundaries #boundariesarehealthy #healthyrelationships #resentment ...

Mar 10

I’m often asked ‘But how do you know that you need or want to say no?’ The clue is why we said yes (because we’re afraid or trying to control something) or in the way we’re thinking, feeling and behaving during or after we’ve said yes. Here are a few of the signs, including mentally panicking, devoting your bandwidth to coming up with excuses to get out of things, and praying for a catastrophe or to get ill so that you can get out of something.

And I have 400+ scripts to help you reclaim your boundaries and bandwidth. Link in bio!

#baggagereclaim #howtosayno #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #recoveringpeoplepleaser #boundaries #healthyboundaries #healthyrelationships #codependentnomore ...

Mar 8

At 43, I’m really embracing being my kind of woman, not what society tells me I *should* be. I’ve demanded far too much of myself and acted as if I’m for everyone else’s consumption. Nope!

International Women’s Day is a good time to show your younger self some love and acknowledge all the women you’ve been on your journey. Show her some love.

#iwd2021 #innerchild #innerchildhealing #baggagereclaim #recoveringperfectionist #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasernomore #listentoyourbody ...

Feb 25

My inner perfectionist, if it had its way, would ensure that I did everything A++++++++++++++ 🤣 There’s beauty in not trying to do everything ‘perfectly’ and not putting the expectation on yourself that you have to be The Best. But you also don’t need to make out like you’re not ‘good enough’, nor do you need to burn up so much of your bandwidth comparing you to others. The pushing ourselves too hard, putting ourselves down, and the comparison—they suck the joy out of things. What if we don’t have to try so bloody hard?

#baggagereclaim #recoveringperfectionist #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #peoplepleasernomore #peoplepleasers #healthyboundaries #comparisonisthethiefofjoy #comparison #innercritic ...

Feb 22

You always deserve better than being somebody’s emotional airbag (or dumping ground/blow-up doll/entertainment centre/scapegoat, for that matter). When you stop letting someone use you as a buffer against dealing with their feelings and *themselves*, you get to value yourself and be with someone else who will treat you like the special, worthwhile and valuable person that you are. You have needs too!

#baggagereclaim #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #boundaries #peoplepleasing #peoplepleasernomore #codependentnomore #healthyboundaries #emotionallyunavailable #mrunavailable #healthyrelationships #selfworthquotes #valueyourself ...

Feb 18

When you treat you like a priority, your choices communicate that you matter too and that you value mutually fulfilling relationships.

#baggagereclaim #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #selfworthquotes #valueyourself ...

Feb 16

Losing ourselves in a relationship, whether it’s blending and merging, performing to be their ‘perfect partner’, or doing things that cause us shame, is a sign that we are putting our efforts into the wrong things. We don’t have to do this stuff. Loving relationships allow us to be more of who we really are, not less.

#boundaries #healthyboundaries #baggagereclaim #corevalues #healthyrelationships #listentoyourself #valueyourself #authenticity #authenticself #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #recoveringpeoplepleaser ...

Feb 14

Go easy on yourself. Wherever you are right now, today, romantic relationship or not, things going pretty well or not, you are and always have been a worthwhile and valuable person. And if you’re not where you thought you’d be, I see you, I hear you. It’s more than OK to feel what you feel. But don’t set up residence there because these feelings aren’t a permanent statement of the future, and things will get better. You will be somewhere else. So even though you maybe feel out of control of things and frustrated by this feckin lockdown, do your best to love and take care of you anyway.

#baggagereclaim #emotionalbaggage #recoveringpeoplepleaser #lovingkindness #selfworthquotes #takecareofyou ...

Feb 12

Don’t compromise yourself. It’s never worth it.

#boundaries #baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #codependentnomore #selfesteemquotes ...

Feb 9

Set the standard and you won’t feel the need to exaggerate crumbs into a loaf. When you start treating and regarding you with love, care, trust and respect, you won’t accept less from others than you can already be and do for yourself.

#baggagereclaim #boundaries #healthyboundaries #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasernomore #howtosayno ...

Feb 8

Feeling habitually resentful, guilty and frustrated is a sign that we’ve been doing what might be ‘good’ things for the wrong reasons. We’ve been too liberal with yes and busted up our boundaries and bandwidth. When we stop saying yes to the shizzle we don’t want to do, we get to figure out what we actually need and want to say yes to. We also discover that the sky doesn’t fall down and stop feeling like a sucker or as if we’re trapped and beholden in our relationships.

#boundaries #baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #recoveringpeoplepleaser #codependentnomore ...

Feb 3

If we’re totally honest with ourselves about everything we put us under pressure to be and do *right now* or that we feel obliged to say yes to without barely pausing for breath and checking in with our bandwidth and whether we even need or want to, most of it *isn’t* critical. If something isn't critical, we need to weigh saying yes to it against our priorities. We need to check in with ourselves because self-care is actually about considering our well-being in our actions and choices instead of treating us like an afterthought. The sky will not fall down if we say no.

#baggagereclaim #boundaries #healthyboundaries #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #healthyrelationships #tuneintoyouremotions #listentoyourself #respectyourself #selfcare ...

Feb 2

When you endeavour to own and be more of who you really are, you align with the people, things and opportunities that reflect this... and have the boundaries to limit the impact of people who don’t respect and value who you are.

#baggagereclaim #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser #recoveringpeoplepleaser #boundaries #beingyourself #authenticself #authenticity #healthyboundaries #healthyrelationships ...

Feb 1

When someone truly likes, respects or is interested in us, we don’t have to keep second-guessing ourselves and being subjected to inconsistencies, passive-aggression and even assholery.

Actions and words need to match, and when they don’t, you need to pay attention because there’s a problem.

#baggagereclaim #listentoyourself #actionsspeaklouderthanwords #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #passiveaggressivenotes #peoplepleasing #boundaries #healthyrelationships #relationshipadvice ...

Jan 29

When I look back on events in my past where I’ve been in pain over someone’s shady carry-on or their treatment of me, in each of them, I discovered that I had limits and standards. Their actions forced me to create boundaries, inadvertently freeing myself in the process.

#baggagereclaim #datingadvice #relationshipquotes #relationshipadvice #boundaries #healthyrelationships #healthyboundaries #selfworth #selfworthquotes #expressyourself #selfexpression #listentoyourself #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser #narcissisticabuse ...

Jan 26

What if our procrastination isn’t about our “laziness” or us not wanting something “enough” or whatever we tell ourselves, and instead, it’s because we’re exhausted by our own expectations? Maybe... we’re exhausted by all our habits that cause us to ignore or demand too much of ourselves.

#baggagereclaim #procrastination #innercritic #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #listentoyourbody #innerchild #innerchildhealing #anxietyrelief #selfcarequotes ...

Jan 21

There's nothing wrong with giving the benefit of the doubt, but we mustn't confuse this with allowing people to benefit from us not trusting ourselves. That's giving people the benefit of our *self-doubt*.

And if the reason that doubt exists is because the relationship, including the likes of boundary-busting, gaslighting and blowing hot and cold, is unhealthy, we need to halt. No good will come of giving them another extension.

#boundaries #healthyboundaries #baggagereclaim #listeningtoyourself #trustingyourself #selfdoubt #gaslightingawareness #gaslighting #healthyrelationships ...

Jan 14