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natlue

930

Dec 2

A big theme of my forties has been slowing down and honouring my bandwidth. Something I learned from the experience of starting from zero and running a marathon less than four months later as well as how wounded I've felt when things still haven't worked out how I think they should have given ’everything I did’ is that I never learned when enough was enough. I just expect of myself and work me to the end result. And it makes sense because I was raised this way. No one ever said something was ’too much’, only too little. Thankfully, you get life experiences and lessons from good ole Professor Life that show you what you couldn't see before. Recognising where I've demanded too much of myself has allowed me to extend self-compassion to my younger self, to learn to take care of me, and to make way for decent experiences going forward because I'm willing to trust myself and listen to my body. Take care of you. #baggagereclaim #takecareofyourself #recoveringperfectionist #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #listentoyourbody #listentoyourself #selfcompassion #selfforgiveness #innerchild #innerchildhealing #innerchildwork #futureself #expressyourself #emotionalintelligence #healthyboundaries #boundaries #selfcare #selfcarequotes

A big theme of my forties has been slowing down and honouring my bandwidth. Something I learned from the experience of starting from zero and running a marathon less than four months later as well as how wounded I've felt when things still haven't worked out how I think they should have given ’everything I did’ is that I never learned when enough was enough. I just expect of myself and work me to the end result. And it makes sense because I was raised this way. No one ever said something was ’too much’, only too little.

Thankfully, you get life experiences and lessons from good ole Professor Life that show you what you couldn't see before. Recognising where I've demanded too much of myself has allowed me to extend self-compassion to my younger self, to learn to take care of me, and to make way for decent experiences going forward because I'm willing to trust myself and listen to my body. Take care of you.

#baggagereclaim #takecareofyourself #recoveringperfectionist #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #listentoyourbody #listentoyourself #selfcompassion #selfforgiveness #innerchild #innerchildhealing #innerchildwork #futureself #expressyourself #emotionalintelligence #healthyboundaries #boundaries #selfcare #selfcarequotes ...

Nov 25

Every last thing we do as humans is about trying to meet our emotional needs. What we all fall into the trap of doing at one time or another is trying to get people in our present to fill old voids by meeting unmet needs from our past, particularly from childhood. The thing is, though, when we do this, we turn romantic partners, friends, colleagues, bosses and even strangers into parental replacements or stand-ins for other significant people from our past, and this not only is a case of fuzzy boundaries but futile. Recognising that it's impossible to get a past need met in the present because the past doesn't exist any more, much as it pissed me off, it also liberated me from having to continue with habits like people-pleasing, perfectionism and over-responsibility. The best way for us to fill those old voids and meet unmet needs is to take care really bloody care of us now through self-care, self-work, but also through choosing nourishing relationships, opportunities and things that allow us to heal, grow and learn. We are our primary caregiver once we become adults, so we have to parent and nurture those younger, neglected parts of ourselves by gradually learning to meet our needs. #baggagereclaim #recoveringpeoplepleaser #healthyrelationships #healthyrelationshipsmatter #innerchildhealing #innerchild #takecareofyourself #expressyourself #listentoyourbody #selfcarequotes #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #emotionalneeds #boundaries #healthyboundaries #codependentnomore #emotionalhealth #emotionalintelligence

Every last thing we do as humans is about trying to meet our emotional needs. What we all fall into the trap of doing at one time or another is trying to get people in our present to fill old voids by meeting unmet needs from our past, particularly from childhood. The thing is, though, when we do this, we turn romantic partners, friends, colleagues, bosses and even strangers into parental replacements or stand-ins for other significant people from our past, and this not only is a case of fuzzy boundaries but futile.

Recognising that it's impossible to get a past need met in the present because the past doesn't exist any more, much as it pissed me off, it also liberated me from having to continue with habits like people-pleasing, perfectionism and over-responsibility.

The best way for us to fill those old voids and meet unmet needs is to take care really bloody care of us now through self-care, self-work, but also through choosing nourishing relationships, opportunities and things that allow us to heal, grow and learn.

We are our primary caregiver once we become adults, so we have to parent and nurture those younger, neglected parts of ourselves by gradually learning to meet our needs.

#baggagereclaim #recoveringpeoplepleaser #healthyrelationships #healthyrelationshipsmatter #innerchildhealing #innerchild #takecareofyourself #expressyourself #listentoyourbody #selfcarequotes #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #emotionalneeds #boundaries #healthyboundaries #codependentnomore #emotionalhealth #emotionalintelligence ...

Nov 24

We can't pay bills, end suffering or own our responsibilities with ‘good intentions’. There’s a ‘why’ in everything that we do, and knowing why we’re doing something, and so being aware of hidden motivations or competing fears keeps us honest and ensures, not just that we enjoy more successful outcomes but that we don’t hurt others and then cling to our ‘good intentions’ instead of taking responsibility. When someone’s focus is on their intentions instead of our lived experience of their actions, they’re showing a lack of empathy and responsibility in that moment. They’re only human, of course, but don’t dismiss what you’ve experienced. It might not have been what they intended, but their actions do have consequences that shouldn’t only be experienced by you. #baggagereclaim #goodintentions #healthyboundaries #boundaries #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #takeresponsibility #valuesmatter #recoveringpeoplepleaser

We can't pay bills, end suffering or own our responsibilities with ‘good intentions’. There’s a ‘why’ in everything that we do, and knowing why we’re doing something, and so being aware of hidden motivations or competing fears keeps us honest and ensures, not just that we enjoy more successful outcomes but that we don’t hurt others and then cling to our ‘good intentions’ instead of taking responsibility.

When someone’s focus is on their intentions instead of our lived experience of their actions, they’re showing a lack of empathy and responsibility in that moment. They’re only human, of course, but don’t dismiss what you’ve experienced. It might not have been what they intended, but their actions do have consequences that shouldn’t only be experienced by you.

#baggagereclaim #goodintentions #healthyboundaries #boundaries #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #takeresponsibility #valuesmatter #recoveringpeoplepleaser ...

Nov 18

Like a lot of recovering people-pleasers and perfectionists, asking for help isn't my strong suit. It comes from being an over-responsible kid who thought that not appearing ’weak’ or like I had ’too many needs’ was my j.o.b. Over the years, I've really stretched into admitting where I'm struggling and asking for help because it's part of intimacy. If you always have to be The Giver, The Helper, The Strong One, it's like saying that you can only be in your relationships if others fulfil their parts of being takers, victims, weak, etc., or if you appear Teflon-coated and needless. This veneer of appearing ‘fine’ and keeping things to yourself keeps people at a distance. You feel alone and struggle with things for way longer than necessary. And the funny thing is that you don't tend to judge others for struggling or needing help the way you do you! It's OK to ask for help. It’s a way of letting trusted loved ones in, humanising you, and also healing your neglected younger self. #baggagereclaim #recoveringperfectionist #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser #overresponsible #healthyboundaries #boundaries #vulnerability #lonelinessquotes

Like a lot of recovering people-pleasers and perfectionists, asking for help isn't my strong suit. It comes from being an over-responsible kid who thought that not appearing ’weak’ or like I had ’too many needs’ was my j.o.b.

Over the years, I've really stretched into admitting where I'm struggling and asking for help because it's part of intimacy. If you always have to be The Giver, The Helper, The Strong One, it's like saying that you can only be in your relationships if others fulfil their parts of being takers, victims, weak, etc., or if you appear Teflon-coated and needless. This veneer of appearing ‘fine’ and keeping things to yourself keeps people at a distance. You feel alone and struggle with things for way longer than necessary. And the funny thing is that you don't tend to judge others for struggling or needing help the way you do you!

It's OK to ask for help. It’s a way of letting trusted loved ones in, humanising you, and also healing your neglected younger self.

#baggagereclaim #recoveringperfectionist #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser #overresponsible #healthyboundaries #boundaries #vulnerability #lonelinessquotes ...

Nov 17

Curiosity goes a long way with helping you to learn to listen to yourself. Sometimes we have unrealistic expectations of our intuition as if to say we should 100% know what it means immediately. And then we let fear take over if we don’t know, immediately blocking us from getting grounded. But if we register that we picked up *something*, we then become open to receiving further intel. It’s like saying ‘I’m willing to pay attention to myself even though I don’t know always know what my gut feelings mean because I value and trust myself.’ In turn, we get to understand the language of our gut feelings so that we don’t have to assume the worst or dismiss ourselves. All things will become clear. Sometimes our gut knows before our head does. #baggagereclaim #trustyourintuition #trustyourgut #trustyourgutfeeling #emotionalintelligence #recoveringperfectionist #recoveringpeoplepleaser #listentoyourself #boundaries #healthyboundaries #selfworthquotes

Curiosity goes a long way with helping you to learn to listen to yourself. Sometimes we have unrealistic expectations of our intuition as if to say we should 100% know what it means immediately. And then we let fear take over if we don’t know, immediately blocking us from getting grounded.

But if we register that we picked up *something*, we then become open to receiving further intel. It’s like saying ‘I’m willing to pay attention to myself even though I don’t know always know what my gut feelings mean because I value and trust myself.’ In turn, we get to understand the language of our gut feelings so that we don’t have to assume the worst or dismiss ourselves.

All things will become clear. Sometimes our gut knows before our head does.

#baggagereclaim #trustyourintuition #trustyourgut #trustyourgutfeeling #emotionalintelligence #recoveringperfectionist #recoveringpeoplepleaser #listentoyourself #boundaries #healthyboundaries #selfworthquotes ...

Nov 16

One of the things I’ve learned is that consistently feeling my feelings even though it’s very bloody uncomfortable at times is infinitely better than the results of suppressing and repressing them. Felt feelings are ultimately energising because they connect you to yourself and what is. You’re that bit more truthful with you and can attempt to give you what you need. Repressed ones pile up and ultimately drain you. They require you to lie to yourself and to do things that aren’t in your best interests. All those unexpressed feelings end up getting turned inwards on you, affecting your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual health. Felt feelings feel so much better than repressed ones. You’ve gotta feel to heal. #baggagereclaim #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthquotes #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #emotionalhealing #emotionalbaggage #emotionalintelligence #listentoyourbody #expressyourself

One of the things I’ve learned is that consistently feeling my feelings even though it’s very bloody uncomfortable at times is infinitely better than the results of suppressing and repressing them.

Felt feelings are ultimately energising because they connect you to yourself and what is. You’re that bit more truthful with you and can attempt to give you what you need. Repressed ones pile up and ultimately drain you. They require you to lie to yourself and to do things that aren’t in your best interests. All those unexpressed feelings end up getting turned inwards on you, affecting your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual health.

Felt feelings feel so much better than repressed ones. You’ve gotta feel to heal.

#baggagereclaim #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthquotes #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #emotionalhealing #emotionalbaggage #emotionalintelligence #listentoyourbody #expressyourself ...

Nov 11

If we’re not intentional about factoring us into our actions and choices, we will suffer the effects of living our life as if we exist solely for the consumption of others. #selflove #selfcare #baggagereclaim #selfworthquotes #expressyourself #boundaries #healthyboundaries #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #selfcarequotes #expressyourself #trustyourself #listentoyourgut #listentoyourbody #takecareofyourself #takecareofyou

If we’re not intentional about factoring us into our actions and choices, we will suffer the effects of living our life as if we exist solely for the consumption of others.

#selflove #selfcare #baggagereclaim #selfworthquotes #expressyourself #boundaries #healthyboundaries #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #selfcarequotes #expressyourself #trustyourself #listentoyourgut #listentoyourbody #takecareofyourself #takecareofyou ...

Nov 7

Narcissists *always* overplay their hand. They think they're outwitting everyone and that they can bully any ’detractors’ into submission. But they always fall. Yes, it often means that you go through a phase of wondering if you're the crazy one or the effects of them trying to destroy you, but rest assured: they always fall eventually because they overplay their hand. #baggagereclaim #karmaquotes #surrender #bideyourtime #byebyetrump #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissistic #takecareofyourself #emotionalabuseawareness #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingisabuse #toxicrelationships

Narcissists *always* overplay their hand. They think they're outwitting everyone and that they can bully any ’detractors’ into submission. But they always fall. Yes, it often means that you go through a phase of wondering if you're the crazy one or the effects of them trying to destroy you, but rest assured: they always fall eventually because they overplay their hand.

#baggagereclaim #karmaquotes #surrender #bideyourtime #byebyetrump #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissistic #takecareofyourself #emotionalabuseawareness #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingisabuse #toxicrelationships ...

Nov 2

I, like so many of us, have been conditioned, socialised, or as we’d say back home in Ireland, had it bred into me (!!) that being ‘good’ and striving to be ‘perfect’ is the route to not only getting what you want but also being *worthy* of it. Funny how, then, the more I people-pleased and engaged in perfectionism was the worse I felt. It’s bloody lonely, infuriating, soul-destroying and shaming. By tying your worth and what you think will happen to how much you can basically influence and control other people’s feelings and behaviour, you’re set up for perpetual disappointment, leaving you veering between feeling that nothing is ever enough and struggling to enjoy any success due to anxiety about what’s next. The thing is, we don’t live in a meritocracy environment, and many of the things that we’ve been taught to believe are ‘good’ are about compliance, silencing, suppressing and ignoring ourselves (often to advance someone else’s self-interest), and trying to control the uncontrollable. So those things you’ve given you a hard time about and blamed it on being not ‘good enough’ are not the fault of your worth. And when you can accept that you’re not perfect or capable of Jedi mind tricking the universe with your goodness, you can finally forgive yourself for not being perfect and be more you instead. #baggagereclaim #recoveringperfectionist #perfectionism #perfectionist #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #expressyourself #healthyboundaries #selfworthquotes #selfexpression #selfforgiveness #forgivenessquotes #boundaries #selflove

I, like so many of us, have been conditioned, socialised, or as we’d say back home in Ireland, had it bred into me (!!) that being ‘good’ and striving to be ‘perfect’ is the route to not only getting what you want but also being *worthy* of it. Funny how, then, the more I people-pleased and engaged in perfectionism was the worse I felt.

It’s bloody lonely, infuriating, soul-destroying and shaming. By tying your worth and what you think will happen to how much you can basically influence and control other people’s feelings and behaviour, you’re set up for perpetual disappointment, leaving you veering between feeling that nothing is ever enough and struggling to enjoy any success due to anxiety about what’s next.

The thing is, we don’t live in a meritocracy environment, and many of the things that we’ve been taught to believe are ‘good’ are about compliance, silencing, suppressing and ignoring ourselves (often to advance someone else’s self-interest), and trying to control the uncontrollable.

So those things you’ve given you a hard time about and blamed it on being not ‘good enough’ are not the fault of your worth. And when you can accept that you’re not perfect or capable of Jedi mind tricking the universe with your goodness, you can finally forgive yourself for not being perfect and be more you instead.

#baggagereclaim #recoveringperfectionist #perfectionism #perfectionist #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #expressyourself #healthyboundaries #selfworthquotes #selfexpression #selfforgiveness #forgivenessquotes #boundaries #selflove ...

Nov 2

In my promise to be a bit more shouty about things I’m up to, here’s a little something I’ve been working on over the last few months 🎺 Blinkist, the app that creates short versions of bestselling non-fiction reads has launched Shortcasts, short versions of, yep, podcasts. They put the key ideas and actionable insights from an episode into under 15-minutes. Shortcasts launched a couple of weeks ago, and my podcast, The Baggage Reclaim Sessions was part of the launch line-up alongside folks like Malcolm Gladwell, Dr Laurie Santos of The Happiness Lab, Farnoosh Torabi, The Doctor’s Kitchen and Nico Rosberg. Episodes so far by me include ones on friendship, bandwidth, over-responsibility, emotional unavailability and roles. If you're on @blinkist already, check them out. And if you're not, you can do a free 7-day trial via the link in my bio. #baggagereclaim #emotionalintelligence #recoveringpeoplepleaser #stress

In my promise to be a bit more shouty about things I’m up to, here’s a little something I’ve been working on over the last few months 🎺 Blinkist, the app that creates short versions of bestselling non-fiction reads has launched Shortcasts, short versions of, yep, podcasts. They put the key ideas and actionable insights from an episode into under 15-minutes.

Shortcasts launched a couple of weeks ago, and my podcast, The Baggage Reclaim Sessions was part of the launch line-up alongside folks like Malcolm Gladwell, Dr Laurie Santos of The Happiness Lab, Farnoosh Torabi, The Doctor’s Kitchen and Nico Rosberg.

Episodes so far by me include ones on friendship, bandwidth, over-responsibility, emotional unavailability and roles. If you're on @blinkist already, check them out. And if you're not, you can do a free 7-day trial via the link in my bio.

#baggagereclaim #emotionalintelligence #recoveringpeoplepleaser #stress ...

Oct 27

One of the things that the pandemic has brought into sharp focus is our relationship with our boundaries. I’ve heard from so many people who were shocked by their discomfort with saying no *even when* it came to the matter of their health and comfort levels. They were sometimes prepared to make themselves and possibly others ill just so they didn't have to say no, and this realisation shook them up. Pandemic or not, it's always more than OK to say no. It's not a dirty word! When you say yes and no authentically, you get to say yes to the experiences, things, people and feelings that reflect the life you want to lead while filtering out what isn't a fit. You are the steward of your boundaries and bandwidth. Others know what is and isn't permissible when you communicate it. Here are some scripts that have all been used over the last several months as we navigate the pandemic. #baggagereclaim #howtosayno #boundaries #healthyboundaries #selfcaretips #relationshipadvice #recoveringperfectionist #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasers #pandemiclife

One of the things that the pandemic has brought into sharp focus is our relationship with our boundaries. I’ve heard from so many people who were shocked by their discomfort with saying no *even when* it came to the matter of their health and comfort levels. They were sometimes prepared to make themselves and possibly others ill just so they didn't have to say no, and this realisation shook them up.

Pandemic or not, it's always more than OK to say no. It's not a dirty word! When you say yes and no authentically, you get to say yes to the experiences, things, people and feelings that reflect the life you want to lead while filtering out what isn't a fit. You are the steward of your boundaries and bandwidth. Others know what is and isn't permissible when you communicate it.

Here are some scripts that have all been used over the last several months as we navigate the pandemic.

#baggagereclaim #howtosayno #boundaries #healthyboundaries #selfcaretips #relationshipadvice #recoveringperfectionist #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasers #pandemiclife ...

Oct 22

I’ve promised myself that I will do better at being shouty about things I've done or am doing. Last week, my podcast, The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, reached the two hundred episodes milestone 🎉🎉🎉 It was my husband, Em, who suggested I start one, and after a year of faffing about due to, well, perfectionism and overthinking, I finally launched. This experience has taught me so much about commitment and releasing perfectionism. I didn't have a number of episodes in mind, and I definitely didn't think I'd make two hundred! Even though I wasn't sure what I was doing or where it would lead, I did it anyway. And then responded and tweaked and adapted as I went. I enjoyed making every episode, but it took making eighty or so to zone in on how I wanted to do things. I had to be willing to make those episodes first, though, and listen. Five years on, including a year’s break in between after losing my father and feeling a bit lost between that and turning forty, almost 1.8 million downloads, and having accompanied people’s bath and bed times, gym sessions, walks, runs, hikes, mountain climbing (literally and figuratively), chill sessions and so much more, I found it fitting to celebrate with the person who kickstarted it. Em joined me for episode 200 (my first with a guest) and we answered listener questions, including how we met, our thoughts on how we knew the other was The One, and how we deal with conflict. It was so much fun to make and Em’s been enjoying the fan mail 😂 You can listen to this episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions on all podcast players. Also, link in bio. #baggagereclaim #britishpodcast #irishpodcast #recoveringperfectionist

I’ve promised myself that I will do better at being shouty about things I've done or am doing. Last week, my podcast, The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, reached the two hundred episodes milestone 🎉🎉🎉 It was my husband, Em, who suggested I start one, and after a year of faffing about due to, well, perfectionism and overthinking, I finally launched.

This experience has taught me so much about commitment and releasing perfectionism. I didn't have a number of episodes in mind, and I definitely didn't think I'd make two hundred! Even though I wasn't sure what I was doing or where it would lead, I did it anyway. And then responded and tweaked and adapted as I went. I enjoyed making every episode, but it took making eighty or so to zone in on how I wanted to do things. I had to be willing to make those episodes first, though, and listen.

Five years on, including a year’s break in between after losing my father and feeling a bit lost between that and turning forty, almost 1.8 million downloads, and having accompanied people’s bath and bed times, gym sessions, walks, runs, hikes, mountain climbing (literally and figuratively), chill sessions and so much more, I found it fitting to celebrate with the person who kickstarted it.

Em joined me for episode 200 (my first with a guest) and we answered listener questions, including how we met, our thoughts on how we knew the other was The One, and how we deal with conflict. It was so much fun to make and Em’s been enjoying the fan mail 😂

You can listen to this episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions on all podcast players. Also, link in bio.

#baggagereclaim #britishpodcast #irishpodcast #recoveringperfectionist ...

Oct 21

When we lose ourselves, and so we forget who we are and what matters to us, it's time to halt. Something has caused us to become disconnected. Sure, it might be that we’ve become lost in an unhealthy relationship. It could be, though, that in our quest to be what we think is our version of ’good’, ’loving’ or even ’perfect’, we got so caught up in playing this role that we stopped knowing how to be us. It could be that in our pursuit of a goal, we’ve lost connection to other things that matter because we’re blinded by who we think we’ll be when we get what we want. It's not that we have to jump ship, forget our goals or blame the other person, but what we need to do is notice the way that we’re going about things. If we tend to lose ourselves, often what isn't good for us is the approach. We don't have to put our self-esteem on the chopping block or give ourselves up to make others or even ourselves happy. #baggagereclaim #datingadvice #relationshipquotes #relationshipadvice #boundaries #healthyrelationships #healthyboundaries #datingtips #selfworth #selfworthquotes #expressyourself #selfexpression #listentoyourself #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser

When we lose ourselves, and so we forget who we are and what matters to us, it's time to halt. Something has caused us to become disconnected. Sure, it might be that we’ve become lost in an unhealthy relationship. It could be, though, that in our quest to be what we think is our version of ’good’, ’loving’ or even ’perfect’, we got so caught up in playing this role that we stopped knowing how to be us. It could be that in our pursuit of a goal, we’ve lost connection to other things that matter because we’re blinded by who we think we’ll be when we get what we want.

It's not that we have to jump ship, forget our goals or blame the other person, but what we need to do is notice the way that we’re going about things. If we tend to lose ourselves, often what isn't good for us is the approach. We don't have to put our self-esteem on the chopping block or give ourselves up to make others or even ourselves happy.

#baggagereclaim #datingadvice #relationshipquotes #relationshipadvice #boundaries #healthyrelationships #healthyboundaries #datingtips #selfworth #selfworthquotes #expressyourself #selfexpression #listentoyourself #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser ...

Oct 19

One of my old favourites: When someone likes you and genuinely wants to be with you, they don't burn up their energies trying to resist you, plus they won't leave it ambiguous and run the risk of losing you. They'll step up with consistent actions that match their words. You will feel and know their interest. #baggagereclaim #datingadvice #relationshipquotes #relationshipadvice #boundaries #healthyrelationships #healthyboundaries #datingtips #selfworth #selfworthquotes

One of my old favourites: When someone likes you and genuinely wants to be with you, they don't burn up their energies trying to resist you, plus they won't leave it ambiguous and run the risk of losing you. They'll step up with consistent actions that match their words. You will feel and know their interest.

#baggagereclaim #datingadvice #relationshipquotes #relationshipadvice #boundaries #healthyrelationships #healthyboundaries #datingtips #selfworth #selfworthquotes ...

Oct 13

Louder, just in case you didn't hear it down the back! If you say yes because you basically emotionally blackmailed you into it, you were afraid to say, or you didn’t consider you as a human being and acted like you have no needs or that it's ok for you to suffer instead of saying no, your yes is inauthentic and problematic. I talk about why no isn't a dirty word on the current episode (199) of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions. Link in bio and available on all podcast players. #baggagereclaim #howtosayno #sayno #healthyboundaries #boundaries #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #peoplepleasernomore #peoplepleasers #overresponsible #innerchild #innerchildhealing #beingyourself #selfexpression #codependentnomore #listentoyourself #listeningtoyourbody #intuitionquotes #trustyourself #trustyourgut

Louder, just in case you didn't hear it down the back! If you say yes because you basically emotionally blackmailed you into it, you were afraid to say, or you didn’t consider you as a human being and acted like you have no needs or that it's ok for you to suffer instead of saying no, your yes is inauthentic and problematic. I talk about why no isn't a dirty word on the current episode (199) of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions. Link in bio and available on all podcast players.

#baggagereclaim #howtosayno #sayno #healthyboundaries #boundaries #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #peoplepleasernomore #peoplepleasers #overresponsible #innerchild #innerchildhealing #beingyourself #selfexpression #codependentnomore #listentoyourself #listeningtoyourbody #intuitionquotes #trustyourself #trustyourgut ...

Oct 8

One of the things that I’ve noticed is that Professor Life is always trying to get our attention. You know like when we keep finding ourselves in repeat situations or the problem we’ve hoped will go away without us having to assert ourselves snowballs and becomes acutely uncomfortable. It might be our health that proves to be the alarm bell that finally makes us slow down and listen after we ignored earlier warning signs. Whatever it is, we’re not built for ignoring and neglecting ourselves. We don’t have to wait until we’re in deep pain and chaos or our back’s against the wall to pay attention, finally say no, or practise self-care. If we consistently listen to ourselves and learn from those times when we don’t, we will get into a loving, caring, trusting and respectful relationship with ourselves. #baggagereclaim #takecareofyou #beingyourself #selfexpression #codependentnomore #listentoyourself #listeningtoyourbody #intuitionquotes #trustyourself #trustyourgut

One of the things that I’ve noticed is that Professor Life is always trying to get our attention. You know like when we keep finding ourselves in repeat situations or the problem we’ve hoped will go away without us having to assert ourselves snowballs and becomes acutely uncomfortable. It might be our health that proves to be the alarm bell that finally makes us slow down and listen after we ignored earlier warning signs.

Whatever it is, we’re not built for ignoring and neglecting ourselves. We don’t have to wait until we’re in deep pain and chaos or our back’s against the wall to pay attention, finally say no, or practise self-care. If we consistently listen to ourselves and learn from those times when we don’t, we will get into a loving, caring, trusting and respectful relationship with ourselves.

#baggagereclaim #takecareofyou #beingyourself #selfexpression #codependentnomore #listentoyourself #listeningtoyourbody #intuitionquotes #trustyourself #trustyourgut ...

Oct 7

When you think about some of the things you're still hard on you about and that shape what you allow you to be, do and have or what you avoid, it's like you've been serving a lifetime sentence. There are folks out there who've committed actual crimes who've served far shorter sentences. My two-year-old self served a twenty-six-year sentence for my parents breakup. Hardcore, and most definitely not warranted. There's a younger version of you for every age, every moment of your life. Those younger versions that you blame for old hurts and losses need your forgiveness. Would you hold it over someone else for the same thing? Would you blame or shame a loved one or a small child for the same thing? Exactly. So now you get to be kinder to you. #baggagereclaim #innerchild #innerchildhealing #forgivenessquotes #forgiveness #selfforgiveness #selfcompassion #youngerself

When you think about some of the things you're still hard on you about and that shape what you allow you to be, do and have or what you avoid, it's like you've been serving a lifetime sentence. There are folks out there who've committed actual crimes who've served far shorter sentences. My two-year-old self served a twenty-six-year sentence for my parents breakup. Hardcore, and most definitely not warranted.

There's a younger version of you for every age, every moment of your life. Those younger versions that you blame for old hurts and losses need your forgiveness. Would you hold it over someone else for the same thing? Would you blame or shame a loved one or a small child for the same thing? Exactly. So now you get to be kinder to you.

#baggagereclaim #innerchild #innerchildhealing #forgivenessquotes #forgiveness #selfforgiveness #selfcompassion #youngerself ...

Oct 6

Some people will be and do things to advance their self-interest while claiming that it’s good for you or that you should be cool with it. You are the steward of your bandwidth, boundaries and values, so you have to decide what feels good and right for you. ❤️ #baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #boundaries #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #peoplepleasernomore #peoplepleasers #overresponsible #innerchild #innerchildhealing #beingyourself #selfexpression #codependentnomore #listentoyourself #listeningtoyourbody #intuitionquotes #trustyourself #trustyourgut

Some people will be and do things to advance their self-interest while claiming that it’s good for you or that you should be cool with it.
You are the steward of your bandwidth, boundaries and values, so you have to decide what feels good and right for you. ❤️

#baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #boundaries #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #peoplepleasernomore #peoplepleasers #overresponsible #innerchild #innerchildhealing #beingyourself #selfexpression #codependentnomore #listentoyourself #listeningtoyourbody #intuitionquotes #trustyourself #trustyourgut ...

Oct 5

As a recovering people-pleaser, I'm all too aware of how we can end up doing what * seems* like good things, but for the wrong reasons. I mistook suppressing and repressing my needs, desires, expectations, feelings and opinions for being ’pleasing’. I thought I was helping and being good, loving people. And yeah, sure, I wasn't being *direct* or *myself* but I figured I'd get rewarded and appreciated for all of my good deeds. Nope! Becoming aware of what was driving me--fear, trying to control how I'm perceived or the other person’s feelings and behaviour, avoiding something--helped me to be more of who I really am and enjoy more boundaried and fulfilling relationships. You can be a loving, kind, generous person *and also* be yourself and boundaried at the same time. #baggagereclaim #emotionalintelligence #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #peoplepleasernomore #boundaries #healthyboundaries #overresponsible #innerchild #innerchildhealing #beingyourself #selfexpression #codependentnomore #listentoyourself #listeningtoyourbody #intuitionquotes #trustyourself #trustyourgut #karpmandramatriangle

As a recovering people-pleaser, I'm all too aware of how we can end up doing what * seems* like good things, but for the wrong reasons. I mistook suppressing and repressing my needs, desires, expectations, feelings and opinions for being ’pleasing’. I thought I was helping and being good, loving people. And yeah, sure, I wasn't being *direct* or *myself* but I figured I'd get rewarded and appreciated for all of my good deeds. Nope!

Becoming aware of what was driving me--fear, trying to control how I'm perceived or the other person’s feelings and behaviour, avoiding something--helped me to be more of who I really am and enjoy more boundaried and fulfilling relationships.

You can be a loving, kind, generous person *and also* be yourself and boundaried at the same time.

#baggagereclaim #emotionalintelligence #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #peoplepleasernomore #boundaries #healthyboundaries #overresponsible #innerchild #innerchildhealing #beingyourself #selfexpression #codependentnomore #listentoyourself #listeningtoyourbody #intuitionquotes #trustyourself #trustyourgut #karpmandramatriangle ...

Oct 4

Sometimes, we agree with something on the outside or comply despite feeling very differently on the inside. Inwardly, we might be saying no or voicing our resentment or frustration. In other situations, we feel a spark of joy, resonance, *something*, and then we might quickly shut it down because it scares us or doesn't fit with other people’s expectations. Maybe, we've learned to criticise or silence aspects of ourselves because we were shamed about them as a child and made to think they were wrong. We rediscover our true selves when we allow those repressed parts of us to have a voice. Next time you’re feeling scared, anxious, guilty, resentful or frustrated and feel as if you have to do what others expect, check in with that repressed part of you. Even if you can't make immediate changes, listening in will give you clues about to live more happily and authentically by being more you. #baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #selfexpression #listeningtoyourself #trustyourgut #trustyourintuition #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #beyourself #selfworth #innervoice #authenticself

Sometimes, we agree with something on the outside or comply despite feeling very differently on the inside. Inwardly, we might be saying no or voicing our resentment or frustration. In other situations, we feel a spark of joy, resonance, *something*, and then we might quickly shut it down because it scares us or doesn't fit with other people’s expectations. Maybe, we've learned to criticise or silence aspects of ourselves because we were shamed about them as a child and made to think they were wrong.

We rediscover our true selves when we allow those repressed parts of us to have a voice. Next time you’re feeling scared, anxious, guilty, resentful or frustrated and feel as if you have to do what others expect, check in with that repressed part of you. Even if you can't make immediate changes, listening in will give you clues about to live more happily and authentically by being more you.

#baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #selfexpression #listeningtoyourself #trustyourgut #trustyourintuition #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #beyourself #selfworth #innervoice #authenticself ...

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