About Ignoring Discomfort and Needs Because We’re Hoping They’re the One

When we’re not used to letting our real selves hang out, voicing our needs, and creating healthy boundaries, it’s not unusual to assume that if we’re really into someone and we have ‘so much in common’, the rest should take of itself. In reality, that’s not how humans...

Even if You’re the Strong One, You Need Help and Support Too

Asking for or just straight up needing help and support doesn’t make us weak; it makes us human. Always being the giver or everything having to be transactional where we see people as a means to an end or feel as if we have to earn support first or pay it...

The True Purpose of Having Standards: Guiding You, Not Controlling Your Relationships

Something I see a lot of confusion around is the purpose of standards. We decide that we have certain standards, and when people behave in ways that don’t reflect these, we get mad at them. We try to persuade, guilt, or shame them into meeting our standards....

Love Because You Feel Good About Yourself, Not To Fill Voids

Love because you feel good about yourself, not as a means to feel good about yourself. You conceive your relationships before you even meet people because you will choose for where you’re at emotionally. Being involved with emotionally unavailable or even shady...

Why the 50:50 Mentality Falls Short in Romantic Relationships

Describing a relationship as 50:50 divides it in half, which is very subjective. How can anyone say what doing ‘their share’ is? A 50:50 mentality in relationships causes us to keep score. Instead of answering the question, Are we both being loving partners?, in 50:50...

The Blame Trap Only Ends Up Helping Shady People

When we’re in unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships, we often blame others, and then ourselves, for the other person’s behaviour. For instance, we claim that our romantic partner ex(es) ‘obviously’ didn’t love them right or give the right support or sex them...