Love because you feel good about yourself, not as a means to feel good about yourself.

You conceive your relationships before you even meet people because you will choose for where you’re at emotionally. Being involved with emotionally unavailable or even shady partners invites you to become more emotionally available and raise your standards. These experiences becoming signposts to recognise where you’re filling voids. You recognise where you’ve engaged with been trying to right the wrongs of the past with people and in situations that remind you of your parents/caregivers or other signficant people from your past.

Don’t choose for your past — choose for who you are and where you’re striving to go (your values).

When you treat and regard yourself as the worthwhile and valuable person you already are, you will give instead of sacrificing yourself to ‘get’. You will recognise love, care, trust and respect because you know it within. You will be able to co-create and recognise a relationship with the landmarks because you have that kind of balanced, consistent, progressing, committed, intimate relationship with you.

Prioritise self-care so that it’s part of your day-to-day rather than an in-case-of-emergency by taking the time to figure out how to meet your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual needs with loving habits. When you do, you will want a relationship for healthy reasons rather than needing it to feel alive and whole. The quality of your relationship and partner will change as your relationship changes with you. Remember that you can take care of others and yourself, too.

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