Don’t do it on work email! Some companies have very strict email policies but you may also get the content put through a filter which could be very embarrassing if it gets flagged up.

Only send these emails to a trusted lover. Trust me when I say that if you are sending these types of emails to a guy that could fit into the ‘prick’ category, he may not be the only person that’s reading them. You don’t want to find that your well intentioned email has become an email forward winging its way around the world.

Build up the ‘dirt’ over a few emails, especially if you’ve not emailed each other like this before. It might be better to start with ‘I’ve been thinking about you bending me over the kitchen table and taking me from behind’ rather than ‘I want you to tie me up and strangle me’. You can start out by stating what you want and then using subsequent emails to expand into the finer details. By doing this, it gives him the opportunity to ask questions like ‘What will you be wearing?’ etc.

Be descriptive. It’s a bit pointless going to the trouble of sending a ‘dirty’ email if you’re going to be tame. The great thing about writing an email is that you don’t have to get all tongue tied and you can be as explicit as you like without having to see facial expressions. Tell him:

- what you’ll be wearing. Don’t say ‘I’ll be wearing underwear’ say ‘I’ll be wearing silk knickers with a suspender belt over them, high heels and peep show bra’

- when this will be happening
- where
- what you want him to do
- what you want to do to him
- any specific instructions (no talking, for instance)
Drip feed these details to build up the anticipation!

Check that you’re sending it to the correct person. I don’t know what it is, but when you need to send something dirty or secretive, you can somehow find yourself accidentally sending it to an ex lover or even a parent! If you’re multi-tasking whilst writing your email, double-check that you’re sending it to the right person!

You can continue offline by having Post-It notes leading to the bedroom, or text messages on the way to your get together.

Also check out general tips for talking dirty in Talking Dirty to Your Man (The Starter Edition)

Natalie Lue is the founder and writer of Baggage Reclaim and author of the books Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship and more. Learn more about her here and you can also follow her on Facebook and Twitter – @baggagereclaim .

Natalie (NML) – who has written posts on Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue.


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3 Responses to Tips for Sending Dirty Emails To Your Lover

  1. jon bridge says:

    WHY DO POPLE HAVE SEX WITH YOURSELF?

  2. Lisa says:

    What about sending erotic photos/videos to a trusted lover in a long distance relationship…he loves it, and so do I, but, is it legal? Is it safe?

  3. Brad K. says:

    Lisa,

    There was a Country song out a while back, something about kids finding pictures of Mama, before she was Mama.

    About what is legal – you can find a lawyer to give you an interpretation under your local and federal laws. But you can find a lawyer to take about any position you can imagine, and many that I cannot imagine.

    A picture sent electronically, might get to parents, friends, the workplace, children. They can turn up years later, and very far from where they were supposed to be. Sending a beloved, sincere husband or wife erotic pictures is very different, than sending something to someone that hasn’t pledged their life and lived up to that pledge. Stuff happens.

    Look at the kids today, getting into trouble with “child pornography” for sending nekkid pictures of themselves to classmates. Some places are recognizing this as minor and brushing it off – other places are treating it like sex crimes, including lifelong entry in a sex offender registry.

    There are model releases and various records that are supposed to be kept on anything with an “adult” theme, records that have to be kept apparently until the last particle of grit falls from the last computer media on earth. Or until we trash the censors in Washington.

    One area that struggles to maintain a presence is the long-lived body acceptance movements, the naturists or nudists, depending on the organization. A casual offended-by-sex crusader typically doesn’t understand that naked and sex act are unrelated. Thus naturist families have tough choices to make about family photos, vacation shots, etc.

    Theoretically, in many places, if you have the records that anyone in the pictures consents (and you track the pictures, should anyone withdraw their consent), you don’t involve minors or other violations of local and federal laws, you shouldn’t have an issue. Most of the time there won’t be an immediate problem. But stuff does happen, and digital pictures tend to get surprising distributions. One for instance – in ten years, today’s sweet lover might become the hated about-to-be-ex-husband – with a handful of compromising images that won’t help you in court.

    My own feeling is that getting too much electronic communication involved in the love life is a mistake. We see how EUMs rely on textmail, how little phone calls really mean, compared to investing the time and effort of face-to-face, actual physical visits offer.

    Brad K.’s last blog post..br: Dignity and choosing a partner

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