It’s time for another episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions.

In episode 65, I cover:

More ideas than time (and that’s OK):

I explain why we get frustrated with ourselves about not being able to follow through on all of our ideas and share tips for managing ideas and reining in our inner critic.

Key points include:
  • There’s no need to act as if ideas have to be spent immediately because they’re burning a hole in your pocket.
  • Delegate execution or elements of it if you tend to prefer coming up with ideas or if it’s going to cost you far more in time, energy, money etc., to make it happen than someone whose area is the expertise.
  • The mind doesn’t differentiate between what you have to do, what you’d like to do but there isn’t a set time on it yet, or ideas that popped up but that you weren’t intending to do anything about, so if you have a lot of ideas, this can be very stressful.
  • Focus on no more than 6-8 projects at a time, for instance with work or home (and of course that depends on size and scope of projects as that might need to be smaller) so that you understand your priorities and learn to choose the best of your ideas.

Tips for dodging drama with a family member:

It’s that time of year when we are more likely to find ourselves around family that we don’t get on with that well. This creates anxiety, frustration and resentment because we’re anticipating round 10. I share tips for ensuring that you don’t play the role that this family member expects from you. These include working out what each of your roles are and how the dynamic plays out. It’s also about identifying what you might be trying to make them see or what they might be looking for from you. I also explain why you mustn’t play your role if you want to break this pattern.

If this type of drama is a big source of stress for you, check out my Embrace Healthy Boundaries course.

Why we lose trust in ourselves in the early stages of dating:

I explain why trust is a gamble but that it’s too much to expect that based on a limited amount of information, that we should be able to have strong judgement about people we come across on dating websites and apps.

Listener Question:

Should I believe my live-in girlfriend or my soon-to-be ex-wife? This week’s listener is in two tricky spots. His partner of more than a year says that his soon-to-be ex-wife keeps giving her the finger when his back is turned. He suspects that she’s lying to sour the relationship with his wife.

What I Learned This Week:

I’ve just finished my new book, Love, Care, Trust and Respect and it took a lot of self-discipline including no Facebook, writing outside of the house etc and it’s taught me about how when we really want something and we’re aware of distractions, we have to the necessaries so that we don’t block ourselves.

My new book, Love, Care, Trust & Respect, is out on Monday 12th December (ebook–other formats including print to follow). It’s about reclaiming relationships from the jaws of pain, fear and guilt so that you can finally be open to the relationship you truly desire and deserve. So many people are just like I was: struggling to create, forge and sustain healthy relationships because they didn’t have a healthy template or understand what love, care, trust and respect is like in practice. I’ve taken everything I’ve been teaching for over a decade and distilled it into this pocket guide for loving relationships.

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