Jane asks: What if he wasn’t a Mr Unavailable? What if he wasn’t really into me? I know I shouldn’t think about his reasons for dumping me and focus only on me but the uncertainty really haunts me.
We were together for almost a year and since the beginning he was kind of weird, because he would pursue me for a couple of days act as we were a couple and then disappear or act like a friend. Even though he disappeared we spent most of our times together. I never pursued him or anything, it was all his work. He took me to met his family (as a friend) so I know he wasn’t dating any one else, and I spent a lot of time in his house with his mom and nieces. He always wanted to take things slow, even the sex part of our relationship. He was extremely sweet those days he felt like being a couple, so he wasn’t all so bad.
He dumped me two weeks ago, three weeks after we decided to try being a couple saying that our relationship wasn’t working and that we didn’t have anything in common (which is not true). And I’m not sure if he really liked me – What if he wasn’t all that into me and he was confused of what he wanted from me?
After he broke up with we have seen each other because we work together. For God knows what reason he is acting mad towards me so it’s more confusing after him saying he wanted us to be friends after the break up. Is this normal?
Thank you so much for this site I wish I would have found it sooner it’s been a lot of help. These guys should wear a HUGE warning sing so no women gets close.
NML says… Indeed it’s a shame they don’t come preloaded with neon flashing signs! Here is the reason why he is not an emotionally available guy who is just not that into you:
A decent, emotionally available guy who is not into you will not behave as he has for the past year. Period.
Emotionally available men are connected emotionally so that when they recognise that they cannot be what a woman expects, uncomfortable as it may be, they speak up.
The disappearing, the calling you a friend, pursuing you, acting like a couple but not actually beinga couple, introducing you to family (a common thing that Mr Unavailable’s do – women attach far too much significance to meeting the parents), and the rest just reek of Mr Unavailable.
But at the end of the day, he has now said you have nothing in common although he has certainly taken his sweet time to decide this. You, unfortunately, can’t decide that you do have something in common and that he’s lying. The things that you may think are your common ground and important, may not be his common ground and important, and the best thing that you could do, in light of how he has always behaved and his recent treatment is accept that it is over rather than make the mistake of making this a long and drawn out saga where he’ll continue his poor behaviour.
You are focused on the wrong things – You keep saying how sweet and nice he was, but this man kept doing disappearing acts which is completely inappropriate behaviour and disrespectful, friend or girlfriend, so you need to look at him in a real light and also ask yourself why you are interested in a barely there man.
Either way, emotional unavailability or not being interested, neither of these things spell anything good and they are signals that it is time to bail out.
Let him be mad – it’s a tactical thing pulled by this type of man so that he can start getting you to think you’ve done something wrong because he recognises that he’s done something bad. Yet another sign that he’s an assclown…You may work together but leave it at that.
Completely understand the behaviour of Mr Unavailable’s and how to lose your interest in them with my new ebook, Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl. Find out more and download.
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“It will happen one day, but meanwhile stay away from EMUs!” I think an Emu is a bird. I will stay away from EMUs and EUMs!!
Well, it’s been about 2 months since I posted my story and I’m still hanging on to the creep. Why are these guys so hard for us to let go of?
So its been a year since I asked for advice to NML, at first everything was fine I was really strong and following the advice, until the ass-clown came back asking for forgiveness, so stupid blond me got back with him. After that we were together for almost a year, and got to tell you nothing changed he kept being hot/cold and everything, except for a small thing this whole time he cheated on me. So I have been free for four months now, he keeps coming back, and got to tell you it feels really good to tell him no. So I have been doing great I occasionally cry for no reason, like right now reading my own post brings back the memories, but I know everything is going to be fine I am not going to die if he is not with me.
But to the rest of the girls that are dealing with this right now try to tell no to him, believe me you will feel great because you are finally the one in control and it probably will be hard the first weeks but after that you are going to feel amazing, just keep thinking of the bad things he has done and don’t fell sorry for him. Do not make the same mistake I did and RUN!!
Guys are just mostly unpredictable and still hard to leave anyway no matter how rude they were especially when you really have a feelings.
.-= Relationship break up advice´s last blog ..Relationship Break Up Advice Blog: There are 50 ways to leave your lover – Including online…Part two =-.
Love reading this blog, it’s just very informative enough that you can really relate into it.
Relationship break up advice
.-= Relationship break up advice´s last blog ..Relationship Break Up Advice Blog: There are 50 ways to leave your lover – Including online…Part two =-.
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