It’s time for me to go on my end-of-year break, so this is the last episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions for 2021. It’s a reflective episode where I share how I surprised myself by going to therapy this year and how it, along with joys and challenges, took me to a deeper place in my relationship with myself.
5 key topics in this episode
- As a child, I learned to be on guard and didn’t learn when not to be, so part of my evolution is unlearning what are actually anxiety-management habits. I’m unlearning hypervigilence.
- It’s easy to feel messed up when you talk about your childhood and you realise how even your therapist looks alarmed! But you’re not messed up, and it’s OK to talk about this stuff with the right people.
- Part of evolving our relationship with ourselves is noticing our protective devices. There can be a part of us that’s pessimistic or certainly keen to point out every possible negative. We might believe that this is our inner voice when it isn’t; it’s fear.
- No matter how evolved we are, there are going to be joys and challenges that push our buttons. The mistake so many of us make is assuming that the only things that push our buttons are problems and challenges or thinking that we won’t be bothered if we’ve grown enough. We’re human. Stuff will always bother us to some degree, but less if we take better and better care of ourselves.
- It’s easy to claim that you love yourself or that you ‘do’ self-care when the going is good. It’s what you do for you during those times when it would be all-too-easy to be hard on you, to neglect you, that’s really where you show your relationship with yourself. Be kinder to yourself than you’re comfortable with.
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Are you ready to stop silencing and hiding yourself in an attempt to “please” or protect yourself from others? My new book, The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People Pleasing, Reclaim Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want (HarperCollins/Harper Horizon), is out now.