Why do we pretend to like something when we don’t?: Sometimes we feel compelled to lie about our tastes in something because we’re trying to appear more attractive to someone or are afraid of rejection. Have you ever pretended to like something? I’ll be sharing a selection in an upcoming episode.
The 7 types of tricky family member: When a family member is a source of stress that brings out obligation, guilt, resentment and people pleasing, it has a knock-on effect on your self-esteem and your other interpersonal relationships. I explain the 7 types of tricky so that you can understand what’s behind their actions.
I’m turning 39 soon: And it’s prompted lots of thoughts around turning 40 including how to celebrate but also things I’m ‘supposed’ to be and do. I also talk about birthdays in episode 25.
Listener Question: How do I recover from messing up by moving too fast? Serious regrets abound because this week’s listener thinks he was ghosted after two dates because he fast-forwarded.
What I learned this week: I dragged myself right out of my comfort zone by allowing myself to be ‘seen’ at a workshop where I had to ‘talk about myself’ to a group of journalists for a total of 20 minutes. And the sky didn’t fall down! My cousin’s B&B that I mention is The Runaway and the friend whose workshops helped me bust through my [faux] limits is Janet Murray at Soulful PR.
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Re: I like what you like — gosh, Natalie – I’m so glad it’s not just me that’s done this! *Cringe*
It does seem to be women who are especially prone to this, and I think it’s something that can easily be triggered by interactions with crappy men if your self-esteem isn’t quite as healthy as it should be. It’s also a by-product of not having a strong sense of who you are.
It rather reminds me of the famous passage from Gillian Flynn’s ‘Gone Girl’, where she talks about ‘cool girl syndrome’. As she rightly points out, you don’t see men suddenly feigning an interest in Jane Austen to try and impress a woman, do you?
NATALIE
on 11/07/2016 at 10:00 pm
I love Gone Girl. I recommend it to people all the time. I now love you for referencing it. I’ve never watched the film as I knew it wasn’t anything like the book. Amy’s “cool girl syndrome” is a very real thing, except for she took it to scary territory. And what she says is true. I explain this to women all the time–the ones who are hung up on having the same interests as a guy. The guy doesn’t give a shit about that!
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Re: I like what you like — gosh, Natalie – I’m so glad it’s not just me that’s done this! *Cringe*
It does seem to be women who are especially prone to this, and I think it’s something that can easily be triggered by interactions with crappy men if your self-esteem isn’t quite as healthy as it should be. It’s also a by-product of not having a strong sense of who you are.
It rather reminds me of the famous passage from Gillian Flynn’s ‘Gone Girl’, where she talks about ‘cool girl syndrome’. As she rightly points out, you don’t see men suddenly feigning an interest in Jane Austen to try and impress a woman, do you?
I love Gone Girl. I recommend it to people all the time. I now love you for referencing it. I’ve never watched the film as I knew it wasn’t anything like the book. Amy’s “cool girl syndrome” is a very real thing, except for she took it to scary territory. And what she says is true. I explain this to women all the time–the ones who are hung up on having the same interests as a guy. The guy doesn’t give a shit about that!