The True Purpose of Having Standards: Guiding You, Not Controlling Your Relationships

Something I see a lot of confusion around is the purpose of standards. We decide that we have certain standards, and when people behave in ways that don’t reflect these, we get mad at them. We try to persuade, guilt, or shame them into meeting our standards....

Loving, Lasting Relationships Need the Compatibility of Shared Core Values

Compatibility is about the ability to co-exist harmoniously. We experience it with people with whom we share core values (character and direction). These values speak for who we are and what we prioritise in terms of how we want to live our lives (relationships,...

Will It Be A Debit or Credit from Your Trust Account?

Trust is rooted in your relationship with yourself, so interacting with a basic level of trust is critical in allowing yourself to be open to vulnerability, intimacy, and growth. It takes self-trust to recognise trust in others. If you don’t trust someone, they either...

Green Light What Truly Matters

People often ask me why I emphasise the values of love, care, trust and respect rather than, say, compassion, empathy, loyalty or even attraction. When you prioritise love, care, trust and respect in your and other people’s actions, mentality and attitudes, other core...

Fulfilling Relationships Need the Shared Intent of Core Values

Your values represent the preferences, priorities, and principles that speak for your character and the direction of your life. They’re your decisions for how you want to live. The more mindful you are of what you prioritise and why, the less likely you are to start...