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Greetings from Amsterdam where I’m having some lovely family time.
This week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions tackles the issue of knowing when we’re lying to ourselves. We’re all guilty on BS-ing ourselves from time to time but when what we’re concealing from us becomes harmful to our well-being, we need to recognise what we’re doing and why so that we can get grounded in who we really are and move forward in truth.
Topics covered
- Why associating the truth with negative consequences causes us to stall in the fantasy
- The five key habits of lying to ourselves: denying, rationalising, minimising, justifying and excusing
- The Justifying Zone, that place we put ourselves in when we stick with something we shouldn’t because we want to justify the original decision we made
- Why distancing ourselves from our behaviour leads to us not acknowledging, for instance, that people who aren’t jealous or obsessing don’t spend their time checking up on their ex or their ex’s new partner on various social media
- How we can use our feelings to recognise where we’re lying to ourselves
- How being triggered can become a push to recognise old untruths that are still hurting us
- The importance of recognising the baggage behind our responses, including our temptation to lie to ourselves, so that we can move forward
- Why noticing our thoughts in certain situations, such as when we’re self-critical when we’re around a new group of people, can help us to get grounded and overcome old hang-ups
- Why hiding stuff from people because we’re afraid of hurting them only leads to more hurt
Links mentioned
- The Bullsh-t Diet?–Is it time to stop denying, minimising and rationalising?
- The Justifying Zone and also The Justifying Zone on the podcast
- What’s The Baggage Behind It? and being triggered- Episode 2
- Blind Spots Block The Relationship You Want
- Are You Future Faking Yourself For a Short-Term Fix?
- Why Telling Little Lies Can End Up Mattering In A Big Way
Next stop
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Listener questions can be emailed to podcast AT baggagereclaim DOT com and if there’s a topic you’d love me to talk about, let me know!
Nat xxx


Definitely a good few things to chew on in this episode- I accidentally just launched it from Soundcloud while exploring your site.
I like the approach expressed with facing traumatic experiences from the past, relating them to the current experience you’re having at any given moment. There are too many self help people, counselors, and even full-out therapists out there with a poor grasp on this dynamic: “forgiveness” vs doormat and permissiveness, as well as beginning to establish a more healthy scheme of relating, rather than all-or-nothing, black and white thinking.
I’m feeling a tug of “I’m missing something important humming here” l, or something hinted at but maybe not explored, with a concept towards the end of this podcast episode, so I think I will be listening to it again to see if I can glean more.
So glad I happened upon this podcast!
it’s been an anguishing week for me, finding out (via Facebook) that the man I dated for 15 months just got married last week–and we only broke up 3 months ago. If I had listened to your podcast, and really took it to heart before the relationship began, I may have saved myself from the excruciating heartbreak of today. I will take another careful listen and keep the guidance in mind going forward.
Thank you Natalie for taking the time to put this podcast together!