Greetings from Amsterdam where I’m having some lovely family time.
This week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions tackles the issue of knowing when we’re lying to ourselves. We’re all guilty on BS-ing ourselves from time to time but when what we’re concealing from us becomes harmful to our well-being, we need to recognise what we’re doing and why so that we can get grounded in who we really are and move forward in truth.
Topics covered
Why associating the truth with negative consequences causes us to stall in the fantasy
The five key habits of lying to ourselves: denying, rationalising, minimising, justifying and excusing
The Justifying Zone, that place we put ourselves in when we stick with something we shouldn’t because we want to justify the original decision we made
Why distancing ourselves from our behaviour leads to us not acknowledging, for instance, that people who aren’t jealous or obsessing don’t spend their time checking up on their ex or their ex’s new partner on various social media
How we can use our feelings to recognise where we’re lying to ourselves
How being triggered can become a push to recognise old untruths that are still hurting us
The importance of recognising the baggage behind our responses, including our temptation to lie to ourselves, so that we can move forward
Why noticing our thoughts in certain situations, such as when we’re self-critical when we’re around a new group of people, can help us to get grounded and overcome old hang-ups
Why hiding stuff from people because we’re afraid of hurting them only leads to more hurt
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Listener questions can be emailed to podcast AT baggagereclaim DOT com and if there’s a topic you’d love me to talk about, let me know!
Definitely a good few things to chew on in this episode- I accidentally just launched it from Soundcloud while exploring your site.
I like the approach expressed with facing traumatic experiences from the past, relating them to the current experience you’re having at any given moment. There are too many self help people, counselors, and even full-out therapists out there with a poor grasp on this dynamic: “forgiveness” vs doormat and permissiveness, as well as beginning to establish a more healthy scheme of relating, rather than all-or-nothing, black and white thinking.
I’m feeling a tug of “I’m missing something important humming here” l, or something hinted at but maybe not explored, with a concept towards the end of this podcast episode, so I think I will be listening to it again to see if I can glean more.
Ubikwity
on 23/09/2017 at 5:46 pm
So glad I happened upon this podcast!
it’s been an anguishing week for me, finding out (via Facebook) that the man I dated for 15 months just got married last week–and we only broke up 3 months ago. If I had listened to your podcast, and really took it to heart before the relationship began, I may have saved myself from the excruciating heartbreak of today. I will take another careful listen and keep the guidance in mind going forward.
Thank you Natalie for taking the time to put this podcast together!
I’ve been running Baggage Reclaim since September 2005, and I’ve spent many thousands of hours writing this labour of love. The site has been ad-free the entire time, and it costs hundreds of pounds a month to run it on my own. If what I share here has helped you and you’re in a position to do so, I would love if you could make a donation. Your support is so very much appreciated! Thank you.
Copyright Natalie Lue 2005-2025, All rights reserved. Written and express permission along with credit is needed to reproduce and distribute excerpts or entire pieces of my work.
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Definitely a good few things to chew on in this episode- I accidentally just launched it from Soundcloud while exploring your site.
I like the approach expressed with facing traumatic experiences from the past, relating them to the current experience you’re having at any given moment. There are too many self help people, counselors, and even full-out therapists out there with a poor grasp on this dynamic: “forgiveness” vs doormat and permissiveness, as well as beginning to establish a more healthy scheme of relating, rather than all-or-nothing, black and white thinking.
I’m feeling a tug of “I’m missing something important humming here” l, or something hinted at but maybe not explored, with a concept towards the end of this podcast episode, so I think I will be listening to it again to see if I can glean more.
So glad I happened upon this podcast!
it’s been an anguishing week for me, finding out (via Facebook) that the man I dated for 15 months just got married last week–and we only broke up 3 months ago. If I had listened to your podcast, and really took it to heart before the relationship began, I may have saved myself from the excruciating heartbreak of today. I will take another careful listen and keep the guidance in mind going forward.
Thank you Natalie for taking the time to put this podcast together!