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You have a sense of the type of relationship you want and how you want to feel about you but that person who you can be treated with love, care, trust, and respect by, eludes you. It’s either that dating is becoming quite the drag or you’re tired of fighting for what appears to come so easy to others. Truth be told, feeling afraid to be you is draining.
There isn’t a crystal ball that lets you know in advance how things are going to pan out and sadly, I haven’t managed to invent an assclown radar or a magic eraser for the past, but you know what? You don’t need any of these.
I will teach you how to live and love with your self-esteem in tow.
I’m Natalie Lue (pronounced l-oo and it’s Chinese in origin) and I’m an emotional baggage declutterer, shady relationship buster, and self-esteem booster all rolled into one. I’ve taken my experiences as well as the observations and insights I’ve gained in over eleven years of blogging and honed a particular specialty for helping people understand and move beyond emotional unavailability, which presents itself by way of involvement with unavailable people, fear of intimacy and commitment, self-esteem issues, and unresolved issues from childhood. But I’m not just about unavailable and shady relationships – hundreds of thousands of readers around the world treat Baggage Reclaim (BR) like their friend who guides them on how to navigate life. A hell of a lot of what I share here applies to all types of relationships, not just romantic ones. Many BR readers use the advice to manage work, family, and friendship situations.
Baggage Reclaim will improve your emotional and relationship literacy.
I can help you to reframe and process the past and negative beliefs so that they stop negatively informing your self-image and directing you to the type of people that you’ve likely engaged with along the way – people who end up detracting from you not adding to your life. I’ve helped many readers and students of my courses transform the way they feel about themselves and to let go of toxic people and situations.
Through my flagship program Build Your Self-Esteem as well as my books, Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl and The No Contact Rule, I help people to offload their emotional baggage and reclaim themselves.
And just in case you want to know a bit more about me…
Although I was born in England (Wolverhampton to be precise), I’m mostly raised in Dublin, Ireland, now living in South East London in Caterham, Surrey. I’ve been blogging for over a decade and I started Baggage Reclaim in September 2005, not long after experiencing a life-changing epiphany. My health was in tatters due to a debilitating immune system disease (sarcoidosis) and I’d found myself in yet another barely there relationship where after five months, he decided to admit that he wasn’t ready for a relationship. Doh! Before that I’d been involved with a coworker who had a girlfriend as well as a string of other toxic relationships, and it suddenly occurred to me when I was given a very poor prognosis for my health that it was time to start taking care of me and living my life. I also realised that no matter how many issues these guys had, I was the common denominator. I recognised that I wasn’t responsible for their behaviour but I was responsible for the fact that I was with them due to my daddy issues (my father is the first Mr Unavailable in my life) as well as my mommy issues. Ever since then, I’ve been sharing not just my journey to liking and loving me, but also my insights and observations into unavailable relationships and the things we do and think when we lack self-awareness and self-knowledge.
I love what I do. It may sound strange but I was born to do this. I can’t imagine doing something else and I know that I have to share my gift for getting in the minds of my readers as well as being able to translate many of the tricky situations that leave people feeling confused, doubting themselves, trying to change something that didn’t cause the issue, or even wondering if they’re crazy. Readers tell me that it’s as if I’m living in their head or outside their homes – I promise I’m not! I resonate with a lot of people precisely because I’m not a doctor anything and a hell of a lot of readers discover Baggage Reclaim due to being recommended by therapists – thank you!
I’m living proof that you don’t have to define you by virtue of your background, your experiences, or even your ‘mistakes’.
Mama to two girls and married to Em (previously known as ‘the boyf’), I’ve been running BR full time since February 2008 and before that, I worked in various media sales and marketing roles which combined with my blogging and running a business online, it means I’m sought after for business consultancy too.
Did I mention that I self-published all of my books?
I’m really into design – I have a degree in product design plus I’m founder of Bambino Goodies, one of the biggest lifestyle sites for kids in the UK, and love shopping for vintage and retro pieces (including collecting toys and books from my childhood) plus we’re currently renovating our new home. I’ve been wheat free for a few years, love kinesiology and acupuncture (been doing both since I started BR), I’m partial to karaoke, crafting, routines to 80s and 90s classics on nights out as well as MJ dancing at inappropriate times, and am fond of mojitos.
I have a screenplay in development for my first book, Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, I signed a deal with Audible for them to produce and market audio versions of my books (should be available late spring 2015) and I’m planning to go on the road with Baggage Reclaim to celebrate its 10th anniversary.