When I was around 21, I went out with a guy who was about eight years older and was probably my first proper experience of a Mr Unavailable with dashes of assclownary. My friends and family couldn't stand him as he was very arrogant, used to make far too many...
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‘Why am I with an emotionally unavailable person?’ Identify who you’re competing with
While some people openly admit to being competitive, I've often found that many people who are, don't see themselves in that way. Because they're perfectionists, people pleasers and often prone to comparison, self-criticism and highlighting how they're not 'good...
Blind Spots Block The Relationship You Want
"Natalie, I am sooooo ready to be in a relationship and settle down. I can't [whatever they're currently doing and suffering through] anymore." I hear variations of this statement sooooo much, sometimes from the same people multiple times over several months or even...
Do you have a Replacement Mentality?
Many people struggle with the notion of being replaceable. We like to feel that we can't be substituted with ease. That we mattered enough that someone else won't be able to seemingly take over where we left off. We recognise that, OK, our ex is going to move on if...
The Blame Trap Only Ends Up Helping Shady People
When we’re in unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships, we often blame others, and then ourselves, for the other person’s behaviour. For instance, we claim that our romantic partner ex(es) ‘obviously’ didn't love them right or give the right support or sex them enough...
Podcast Ep. 130: Dating Anxiety & Why Efforts Don’t Equal Outcomes
A challenge that often presents itself while dating is the struggle to stay hopeful and grounded while pursuing our need or desire for a relationship. After, for instance, taking time out from dating due to a breakup or to work on ourselves, we often endeavour to stay...
Change Has To Be About Becoming More of Who You Are
When we've spent our whole life (or much of it), doubting our worth and how 'enough' we are, the prospect of change, even when it's something that we recognise as being beneficial and even critical, can seem like yet another thing that highlights what's wrong with us....
Podcast Ep. 47: Why Did We Break Up? #4 – Love’s Young Dream
It’s time for a Why Did We Break Up? episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions. In the latest edition of this spinoff series, Molly is gradually rebuilding her life after the breakdown of her marriage where she'd struggled with depression and even feeling suicidal....
No One Wants To Get Left Behind or Passed Over
Our romantic relationships and life in general imitate what occurs in the workplace. People are at various levels and have all started at different times and with different experiences and perspective. Each worker has their own idea of what they bring to the table and...