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Working with Your Ex When You Don’t Want To Be Friends: How To Cope

Working with Your Ex When You Don’t Want To Be Friends: How To Cope

by NATALIE | May 23, 2022 | Letting Go

Picture this: After dating your emotionally unavailable coworker, they’ve ended the relationship. I can’t give you what you want; it’s me, not you; I’m not ready for a relationship; I still have feelings for my ex; you knew my situation; I...

11 Signs You’re Withholding Self-Forgiveness and Being Super Hard on Yourself

by NATALIE | Apr 11, 2022 | Letting Go

It’s easy to misconstrue stressful habits we’ve normalised, such as our anxiety, guardedness and a tendency to overthink and critique as being signs of conscientiousness. We might think we have strong morals or high standards. The truth is, though, that...

Some Parents Couldn’t Be Who We Needed, and We Need to Forgive Ourselves

by NATALIE | Mar 28, 2022 | Letting Go

There are so many humans struggling due to believing, on some level, that they’re not good enough because of childhood experiences. We misunderstand painful and uncomfortable events, and they become the story of who we are and can be. Regardless of whether we...

Do we really want closure, or are we trying to win at proving we’re a Good Person?

by NATALIE | Nov 8, 2021 | Letting Go

When we’re a people-pleaser, perfectionist or overthinker who’s likely been prone to overgiving and over-responsibility, there can be a tendency to want to control endings, including how the other party perceives us. We go through a break-up or have a...

When our friend dates our ex, is it OK, and can we be upset about it?

by NATALIE | Sep 8, 2021 | Letting Go

Humans love to feel in control of the uncontrollable, which, incidentally, is pseudo-control. Comforting, sure, but nonetheless an illusion. Take breakups. We can feel, for all intents and purposes, ‘over’ our ex based on how we see life working out. Who...

Refusing self-forgiveness is just another role you play that blocks happiness

by NATALIE | Jul 20, 2021 | Letting Go

Refusing to forgive yourself is a refusal to take responsibility. Just as punishing a child without a clear understanding of responsibility, the lesson and moving forward is ineffective and cruel, so is deliberately, whether you admit it or not, choosing to make you...
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natlue

Until you know what you’re closed to, so what ...

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Until you know what you’re closed to, so what doesn’t work for you, what’s not in alignment with your values, boundaries, needs, desires and expectations, you can’t know and enjoy what you’re open to. You’re not a free-for-all. Express your boundaries by expressing more of who you really are. #baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #boundariesarebeautiful #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #selfcare #healthyrelationships #codependentnomore

natlue

Trying to live up to everyone’s expectations is ...

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Trying to live up to everyone’s expectations is like trying to cup the ocean in your hands. And yet so many of us do this to ourselves and then wonder why we feel so lost, anxious, low and resentful. Making ourselves jump through hoops for other people’s shoulds takes a toll on our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being as well as the health and of our intimate relationships. When we allow ourselves to create healthy boundaries, to be more honest versions of ourselves, we accept that disappointing others by not always being able to meet their shoulds is a natural and healthy part of life. #baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #selfcaretips #listentoyourself #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist

natlue

It’s easy to look at certain things we be and do...

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It’s easy to look at certain things we be and do and put it down to us not being good or worthy enough. The truth is, though, we only accept too little, put up with too much, expect too much of ourselves or others, or fear being our real selves, because of our emotional baggage. That’s the old stories, feelings and judgements we carry about our experiences, not the truth of who we are. So the next time you see yourself accepting crumbs and sub-par relationships and situations, remember that it’s about what you’ve been through, not an indictment of who you are as a person. #baggagereclaim #peoplepleasing #recoveringpeoplepleaser #healthyboundaries #emotionalbaggage

natlue

This time sixteen years ago, I was waiting outside...

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This time sixteen years ago, I was waiting outside the WH Smith at Victoria Station to go on our first date. Thanks to Southern Rail, Em was late. 😆 A few weeks earlier, we’d caught eyes at a board games night. I wondered who the cute guy in the Freddy Kreuger-style jumper was 🤣 in between playing a gangsta game of Monopoly. In typical fashion, I made a wisecrack right at the end of the night, which led to our mutual friend introducing us. On our way home, my friend got a text from him asking who her “cute friend” was and for my number. Within minutes of our first date, we were bantering, and sixteen years on, we’re still having the craic and making each other belly laugh. My biggest supporter, who hasn’t ever for a second questioned what I do, even when I told him on our second date that I “write a blog thing, but don’t go reading it behind my back!” (and he didn’t), he’s believed in me even when I’ve doubted myself and encouraged me to keep going. And he still remains my favourite person on the planet… even though we can’t agree on the thermostat 🤣🤣🤣 Cheers to us @emmonlemmy
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