It’s a bad deal if you have to compromise yourself
Before I was aware of my people-pleasing ways, I would always find a reason to justify compromising myself. It was a “great opportunity” or it seemed “urgent”. Maybe this person could be the “love of my life”. It’s best not to...Feeling frustrated and resentful about a loved one not taking our advice
It’s hard to watch a loved one do something that decimates their self-worth. As an outsider, you can see what’s going on, and you want to jump in there and fix it for them. They’re so in it that they don’t have the objectivity to see what’s going on. And maybe,...Using sex to create relationship expectations and entitlement
A lot of people experience deep anxiety in the early stages of dating (what I call stages 0 and 1). Without a doubt, two particular anxiety triggers are sexual intimacy and what’s going to happen next. Sometimes it’s that we want to have sex but are also...Feeling bad about feeling good
When we’re people-pleasers, we imagine that being ‘good’ means that we’ll feel good. Of course, this is super confusing when we feel like crap despite trying to be everyone else’s version of ‘good’. We wrestle with overwhelm,...
Checking your sense of entitlement stops you from busting boundaries
You’re not entitled to a date or relationship with that certain someone. Even though you might be The Nicest Person on Earth TM or you bent over backwards to accommodate them by busting your boundaries, they’re still allowed to say no. They don’t have to reciprocate...
