Recently, many of the emails and comments I've received have an element of the author being bewildered by the outrageousness of their romantic partners. Like a lot of things in life, we measure other people's behaviour on our own. Often, it can make little sense to us...
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Having too much faith and seeing too much potential in relationships Part One
For some reason, many of us think that when we're in a relationship with someone that they need us to see potential in them and to have faith. Now it's not that I'm killing off hope and optimism but sometimes when we're betting on potential, we're taking a blank piece...
Advice: Do men like it when women make the first move? And how much interest should I show?
Canada asks: Why is it that some men really like it when a girl shows interest in him, and others although flattered by it, seem to hold it against her? Let me explain: I had a friend who asked a guy out by getting his number and sending him a text message inviting...
“Why Not?”: When a guy asks why you won’t talk to or dance with him
"Would you like to dance?", he asks."No thank you", she replies."Why not?" Guys pose this question when they don't get the answer they want when trying to get the attentions of a woman. As a general guide, women don't want to have to explain why they don't want to...
From Emotional Shutdown to Self-Compassion: My Self-Care Evolution
Over the last two decades, I’ve learned to pay attention to signs from my body and my life that I need attention and/or that I need to ask for or seek additional help and support from safe sources. This attitude is a dramatic shift for me because for the 28 years...
When Comfort Becomes a Trap: Rethinking How We Soothe Our Emotional Discomfort
Feeling worse when you experience the onset of certain emotions or feeling as if you’re trying to anaesthetize feelings you’re attempting to repress, or feeling at a loss as to what to do when you need comfort and support, means that, like many of us, you haven’t...
Your Breakup or Relationship Status Doesn’t Reflect Your Worth or Identity
I’ve worked with many clients who feel they’ve failed or are a failure because of a breakup or not being in a relationship yet. This mentality tells me a few things: They see themselves as being 100% responsible for the success of a relationship, so they will go to...
Healing Heartbreak: The Power of Acknowledging Your Role with Compassion
Part of processing the breakup of a painful relationship is talking about what the person did and didn’t do. It’s reminding ourselves of how much they hurt or disappointed us, lest we forget and get sucked into going back. We’re grieving the loss of our relationship....
Why We Feel Shaken and Like We Did a Bad Thing After Asserting Ourselves
It’s not uncommon, especially when you're new to creating healthier boundaries through being more honest about who you are, including expressing limits, saying no, or articulating what you need, want and expect, to feel shaken by your assertiveness. You might...