Baggage Reclaim with Natalie Lue
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We don’t want to do the hard thing, but we do want the freedom it offers

by NATALIE | Apr 15, 2020 | Boundaried Breakups

No one really wants to go No Contact. They don’t. It’s why when we’re post-breakup and struggling to get over them or hurting from continued disrespect, mind games, mixed messages or just the realisation that it’s not possible to be friends at this...
Blindsided with a breakup: What to do when you can’t get answers

Blindsided with a breakup: What to do when you can’t get answers

by NATALIE | Mar 6, 2020 | Boundaried Breakups

Have you been blindsided with a breakup? It’s difficult enough when you sense or know that the end is nigh for your relationship. Maybe the writing’s on the wall because of the way they are behaving. Perhaps it’s because you’ve both tried to...
How To Tell Someone You’re Not Interested Without Ghosting

How To Tell Someone You’re Not Interested Without Ghosting

by NATALIE | Jul 24, 2018 | Boundaried Breakups

When I dated back in the day, one of my struggles, aside from not being interested in emotionally available men (cough), was ending relationships. Looking back, I wish I’d had a couple of handy break-up scripts. As someone who balked at conflict and criticism...
People Pleasing & Breaking Up With Dignity Are Mutually Exclusive

People Pleasing & Breaking Up With Dignity Are Mutually Exclusive

by NATALIE | Jan 9, 2017 | Boundaried Breakups

One of the biggest barriers to making the decision to break up, staying broken up, or breaking up with your self-esteem in tow, is people pleasing in an attempt to influence and control the other person’s feelings and behaviour. In this situation, you think that...
Advice Wednesday: What do I do now that I’ve fallen off the No Contact wagon?

Advice Wednesday: What do I do now that I’ve fallen off the No Contact wagon?

by NATALIE | Jun 1, 2016 | Boundaried Breakups

I empathise with anyone who has to go through No Contact because even when you know it’s the right and necessary course of action for your self-preservation, worrying about what they or others think and the likes of alcohol or a vulnerable moment brought on by...
What’s the Craic With Ghosting? (And no, it’s NOT the same as No Contact!)

What’s the Craic With Ghosting? (And no, it’s NOT the same as No Contact!)

by NATALIE | Jan 25, 2016 | Boundaried Breakups

When we need to break up with someone, there’s a temptation when we are faced not just with the prospect of acknowledging a partner’s position and how we might be impacting them, but also with the prospect of seeing and hearing them, to dodge the...
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MOST POPULAR POSTS

  • When You’re Accused of Cheating
  • The Big Question: Will he try to get in contact with me?
  • 30 Signs That Someone Isn’t Interested Or Is Half-Heartedly Interested In You: How To Avoid Being a Passing Time Candidate
  • Don’t They Care About Me? Didn’t I Mean Something To Them?
  • 10 Signs That A Guy Wants You Just For Sex
  • Miss You, Miss You, Oops, But I’m Not Getting Back With You: When Your Ex Says They Miss You But You’re Still Broken Up
  • How To Tell Someone You’re Not Interested Without Ghosting
  • Breaking Up With and Getting Over a Married/Attached Man
  • Letting Go of a Relationship That Doesn’t Exist
  • Why Do They Keep Having Sex With Me If They’re Not Interested Or Don’t Want The Relationship I Want?

RECENT COMMENTS

  • Hope on Podcast 185: The Emperor DOESN’T Have Any Clothes On – Let’s Talk About Gaslighting
  • Sarah on Podcast 185: The Emperor DOESN’T Have Any Clothes On – Let’s Talk About Gaslighting
  • Julie M on Podcast 185: The Emperor DOESN’T Have Any Clothes On – Let’s Talk About Gaslighting
  • NATALIE on Podcast Ep. 183: Normal People and Casual Relationships
  • NATALIE on Podcast Ep. 183: Normal People and Casual Relationships

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natlue

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natlue

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May 14

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We mustn't accept disrespect, not even from oursel We mustn't accept disrespect, not even from ourselves. When we treat us with love, care, trust and respect, we won't accept crumbs from others because we’ve set the standard. #baggagereclaim #setthestandard #breakthecycle #emotionalbaggage #selfworth #selfworthquotes #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing

We mustn't accept disrespect, not even from ourselves. When we treat us with love, care, trust and respect, we won't accept crumbs from others because we’ve set the standard.

#baggagereclaim #setthestandard #breakthecycle #emotionalbaggage #selfworth #selfworthquotes #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing ...

natlue

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May 7

Open
So many people I come across knew that something w So many people I come across knew that something wasn’t right, that they needed to say no, say yes to something else, make a shift, not push themselves so hard, and more, but they didn’t feel as they could allow themselves to. Many said yes to things they didn’t want to while almost hoping that something or someone else would come along and spare them from having to follow through. We don’t have to wait until our body forces us to slow down or for a catastrophe to finally give ourselves to listen to and take care of ourselves. #baggagereclaim #needs #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #listentoyourbody #listentoyourintuition #intuitionquotes #listentoyourself #burnout #burnoutprevention #burnoutrecovery

So many people I come across knew that something wasn’t right, that they needed to say no, say yes to something else, make a shift, not push themselves so hard, and more, but they didn’t feel as they could allow themselves to. Many said yes to things they didn’t want to while almost hoping that something or someone else would come along and spare them from having to follow through.

We don’t have to wait until our body forces us to slow down or for a catastrophe to finally give ourselves to listen to and take care of ourselves.

#baggagereclaim #needs #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #listentoyourbody #listentoyourintuition #intuitionquotes #listentoyourself #burnout #burnoutprevention #burnoutrecovery ...

natlue

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May 5

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I'm frequently asked about how we go about meeting I'm frequently asked about how we go about meeting our needs. You know all of the time, energy, effort and emotion you expend on meeting other people’s needs and wants, and trying to figure out their feelings? Turn that on you. #baggagereclaim #emotionalbaggage #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #selfhealers #healthyboundaries

I'm frequently asked about how we go about meeting our needs. You know all of the time, energy, effort and emotion you expend on meeting other people’s needs and wants, and trying to figure out their feelings? Turn that on you.

#baggagereclaim #emotionalbaggage #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #selfhealers #healthyboundaries ...

natlue

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Apr 28

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One of the things we misunderstand about being hum One of the things we misunderstand about being human is that sometimes we experience loneliness to let us know that we need to plug back into connection, not just with others but with ourselves. We think that loneliness is about being alone, not having loving relationships or being a ’loser’, but we can experience loneliness even we’re surrounded by others. Grief, being self-employed, motherhood, parenthood, our inner critic, outsider-y feelings, pretending to be something we’re not, hiding needs to be ’low maintenance’, keeping up a front, not wanting to be a downer, the pain Olympics where we downplay our issues because there are ’bigger problems out there’, feeling like a failure, keeping secrets, hiding who we are to fit in or avoid rejection -- the list goes on. Find your people, but also have your own back. Notice signs that it's time to plug back into yourself and loving relationship and experiences where you allow you to be vulnerable and most of all, human. #baggagereclaim #lonelinessquotes #lonelinessthoughts✨ #loneliness #griefquotes #feelingsquotes #lockdownlife #emotionalintelligence #vulnerability #vulnerabilityisstrength

One of the things we misunderstand about being human is that sometimes we experience loneliness to let us know that we need to plug back into connection, not just with others but with ourselves. We think that loneliness is about being alone, not having loving relationships or being a ’loser’, but we can experience loneliness even we’re surrounded by others.

Grief, being self-employed, motherhood, parenthood, our inner critic, outsider-y feelings, pretending to be something we’re not, hiding needs to be ’low maintenance’, keeping up a front, not wanting to be a downer, the pain Olympics where we downplay our issues because there are ’bigger problems out there’, feeling like a failure, keeping secrets, hiding who we are to fit in or avoid rejection -- the list goes on.

Find your people, but also have your own back. Notice signs that it's time to plug back into yourself and loving relationship and experiences where you allow you to be vulnerable and most of all, human.

#baggagereclaim #lonelinessquotes #lonelinessthoughts✨ #loneliness #griefquotes #feelingsquotes #lockdownlife #emotionalintelligence #vulnerability #vulnerabilityisstrength ...

natlue

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Apr 8

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Imagine how different our lives would be if we cou Imagine how different our lives would be if we could love, care for, trust and respect others *as well as* ourselves? The best of our relationships and opportunities make space for and welcome us loving ourselves. #baggagereclaim #selflovequotes #selflove #selfworthquotes #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #codependentnomore #selfcarefirst

Imagine how different our lives would be if we could love, care for, trust and respect others *as well as* ourselves? The best of our relationships and opportunities make space for and welcome us loving ourselves.

#baggagereclaim #selflovequotes #selflove #selfworthquotes #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #codependentnomore #selfcarefirst ...

natlue

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Apr 6

Open
The more willing we are to have and create healthy The more willing we are to have and create healthy boundaries is the more intimacy we experience *because* we’re honest about who we are, what we like, what matters to us, and what we need, want, expect, feel and think. All too often, we fall into the trap of believing that boundaries are wrong. And so we pretend to be something we’re not, accept the unacceptable and don't communicate whether it's verbally or through actions, not just our line and our limit but who and what we stand for. If we want to give and receive love, care, trust and respect and enjoy intimate relationships, we must have boundaries. Knowing where we end and others begin *is* the gateway to intimacy. #baggagereclaim #intimacyquotes #datingquotes #relationshipquotes #boundaries #healthyboundaries #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing

The more willing we are to have and create healthy boundaries is the more intimacy we experience *because* we’re honest about who we are, what we like, what matters to us, and what we need, want, expect, feel and think.

All too often, we fall into the trap of believing that boundaries are wrong. And so we pretend to be something we’re not, accept the unacceptable and don't communicate whether it's verbally or through actions, not just our line and our limit but who and what we stand for.

If we want to give and receive love, care, trust and respect and enjoy intimate relationships, we must have boundaries. Knowing where we end and others begin *is* the gateway to intimacy.

#baggagereclaim #intimacyquotes #datingquotes #relationshipquotes #boundaries #healthyboundaries #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing ...

natlue

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Apr 3

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Lots of people messaging me about how they wish th Lots of people messaging me about how they wish they could see the video of me dancing to Push It. Your wish is my command... minus the sound 😂😂😂😂 so that I don’t get into trouble with Instagram and Warner Music! #baggagereclaim

Lots of people messaging me about how they wish they could see the video of me dancing to Push It. Your wish is my command... minus the sound 😂😂😂😂 so that I don’t get into trouble with Instagram and Warner Music!

#baggagereclaim ...

natlue

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Apr 3

Open
Things you get up to when you’re supposed to be Things you get up to when you’re supposed to be cooking dinner for the first time in two weeks 😂 There will always be more things to do so make sure you make time to be more you. Dancing gives me joy, and I feel like I'm in my teens raving my way through the Dublin discos and clubs. It's a really good boost for my nervous system, too, which with all of this corona malarkey, has taken a bit of a hammering over the last few weeks. P.S. I tried to post one of me dancing to Salt N’ Pepa’s ’Push It’ but Insta didn't allow it! #baggagereclaim #freestyledancing #innerchild

Things you get up to when you’re supposed to be cooking dinner for the first time in two weeks 😂 There will always be more things to do so make sure you make time to be more you.

Dancing gives me joy, and I feel like I'm in my teens raving my way through the Dublin discos and clubs. It's a really good boost for my nervous system, too, which with all of this corona malarkey, has taken a bit of a hammering over the last few weeks.

P.S. I tried to post one of me dancing to Salt N’ Pepa’s ’Push It’ but Insta didn't allow it!

#baggagereclaim #freestyledancing #innerchild ...

natlue

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Mar 31

Open
Hands up whose thoughts are lurching all over the Hands up whose thoughts are lurching all over the place? I've chatted with people who feel guilty and weird for thinking about changed plans or ’the small stuff’, but it’s normal. We can be more than one thing. We can be scared for our future and our health *and* also thinking about other random things. #baggagereclaim #emotionalbaggage #griefandloss #lockdown2020 #selfcare #anxiousmind #anxiousthoughts #anxietyawareness #anxietyisreal #busymind

Hands up whose thoughts are lurching all over the place? I've chatted with people who feel guilty and weird for thinking about changed plans or ’the small stuff’, but it’s normal.

We can be more than one thing. We can be scared for our future and our health *and* also thinking about other random things.

#baggagereclaim #emotionalbaggage #griefandloss #lockdown2020 #selfcare #anxiousmind #anxiousthoughts #anxietyawareness #anxietyisreal #busymind ...

natlue

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Mar 29

Open
It’s funny how we don’t realise how much of a It’s funny how we don’t realise how much of a hamster wheel and treadmill we’ve been on until we have no choice but to pause or break out of routine. Several people I’ve chatted with over the last couple of weeks have admitted that as tough as lockdown and social distancing are, that a part of them is breathing a big sigh of relief that they don’t have to date at the moment. They acknowledge that they’ve been settling and that they might not have taken time to gather their thoughts and reset. Some have found that they can’t settle for their normal routine of giving themselves a hard time about something or someone because they’re not going into the office. So unexpected and, yes, undesired change can reveal where we’ve settled for self-criticism, playing it small, and being the fallback to dodgy exes and flaky, ambiguous, commitment-resistant folk who we’ve held out for in the hope that they will spontaneously combust into someone else. It can reveal where, even if it wasn’t our intention, we’ve settled for less than who we are and what we need, desire and deserve. #powerofthepause #baggagereclaim #selfcare #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #peoplepleasing #selfworthquotes #stopsettlingforless #selfisolation #embroideryart #handembroidery #contemporaryembroidery #embroideryhoop #datingadvice #relationshipadvice #wordsofwisdom

It’s funny how we don’t realise how much of a hamster wheel and treadmill we’ve been on until we have no choice but to pause or break out of routine. Several people I’ve chatted with over the last couple of weeks have admitted that as tough as lockdown and social distancing are, that a part of them is breathing a big sigh of relief that they don’t have to date at the moment. They acknowledge that they’ve been settling and that they might not have taken time to gather their thoughts and reset.

Some have found that they can’t settle for their normal routine of giving themselves a hard time about something or someone because they’re not going into the office.

So unexpected and, yes, undesired change can reveal where we’ve settled for self-criticism, playing it small, and being the fallback to dodgy exes and flaky, ambiguous, commitment-resistant folk who we’ve held out for in the hope that they will spontaneously combust into someone else. It can reveal where, even if it wasn’t our intention, we’ve settled for less than who we are and what we need, desire and deserve.

#powerofthepause #baggagereclaim #selfcare #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #peoplepleasing #selfworthquotes #stopsettlingforless #selfisolation #embroideryart #handembroidery #contemporaryembroidery #embroideryhoop #datingadvice #relationshipadvice #wordsofwisdom ...

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