Deciding that we’re going to be or do something that basically amounts to us moving on from a space where we’ve been stuck in a cycle of thinking, feeling and acting in a particular way, sometimes leads to the assumption that the cycle will end automatically. We might spend months suffering over our ex and finally decide that we have to try to move forward. It may be that clashing with a loved one triggered months of rumination. Thoughts and feelings that we associate with The Time Before We Decided To Move On, can lead to us feeling confused and frustrated. We doubt our decision or doubt our ability to move on. We wonder, Is the fact that I’m thinking about him/her/the situation a sign that I’m not ready to move on?
In short, the answer is NO.
Us humans are creatures of habit.
Imagine that last July, you finally ended your relationship after a year of going back and forth. During the relationship you overfunctioned to compensate, not just for where they weren’t showing up but also for your own underlying feelings of low self-worth. Maybe you reasoned that if you sacrificed you for the relationship, that they’d see that you were worth committing to. You’re ready to move on from trying at this relationship.