Beyond Who’s Right and Winning: Building Respect in Love

For respect to happen in practice within intimate (romantic) relationships, we need healthy boundaries. Each partner has to know where they end and the other begins.The true test of a relationship is how it handles boundaries, intimacy and reality, including the wider...

What It Means to Trust Someone

Trust is an exchange of faith. It’s the confidence we place in others (and ourselves) that represents our belief that our perception of them or our expectations will consistently hold to be true. Trusting someone is believing we can rely on this person enough to feel...

In our intimate relationships, “stable” doesn’t *have* to equal “dull”

A frequent lament I hear from clients struggling to reconcile the reality of their relationship with the picture in their mind is ‘Why can’t they go back to being that great person from the beginning?’ or ‘Why can’t things go back to how they were at the start?’ The...

The “give and take” of relationships needs more intimacy and boundaries

Growing up, I often heard the advice “Relationships are about give and take”. Years on, and after hearing thousands of stories, I’ve realised that we’ve taken this too literally. It’s as if we think that one person exists to give and the...

Healthy Relationships Don’t Focus On ‘Winning’ and Avoiding ‘Losing’

In an unhealthy relationship, incompatibilities and unmet needs feature alongside behaviours that don’t serve the greater good of the relationship. And all too often, the partners focus on ‘winning’ or avoiding ‘losing’. Even though it...