Why the 50:50 Mentality Falls Short in Romantic Relationships

Describing a relationship as 50:50 divides it in half, which is very subjective. How can anyone say what doing ‘their share’ is? A 50:50 mentality in relationships causes us to keep score. Instead of answering the question, Are we both being loving partners?, in 50:50...

Why Some People Call You “Needy” Even When It’s the First Time You’re Speaking Up

Few things wound, offend and confuse us, like being called “needy”, particularly when we typically avoid expressing our needs, desires, expectations, feelings and opinions as a rule. It’s like, So let me get this right. I avoid saying no and pulling you up on things...

The “give and take” of relationships needs more intimacy and boundaries

Growing up, I often heard the advice “Relationships are about give and take”. Years on, and after hearing thousands of stories, I’ve realised that we’ve taken this too literally. It’s as if we think that one person exists to give and the...

Healthy Relationships Don’t Focus On ‘Winning’ and Avoiding ‘Losing’

In an unhealthy relationship, incompatibilities and unmet needs feature alongside behaviours that don’t serve the greater good of the relationship. And all too often, the partners focus on ‘winning’ or avoiding ‘losing’. Even though it...